Grandma Ruby

This past Thanksgiving, my family & I made our annual trek (my 42st consecutive one) to Southwest Arkansas to visit the Leslie clan (or tribe, as it's beginning to be called of late) at the Leslie Reunion. Almost 90 or more were gathered to eat, fellowship, pinch cheeks, hug necks, and see how everyone had changed since last Thanksgiving.

Each branch of the family that originated from my Great-grandfather, W.S. Leslie, would get up & pose in a group for photos & elect a spokesperson from each family within the branch to introduce each member. The Leslie Reunion began in 1960 at the request of my Great-grandfather & so far shows no sign of slowing down.

The matriarch of my immediate family was, again, too feeble to make the reunion. Grandma Ruby, nearing 100, has been in a nursing home for years but has faithfully been visited by me & as many of my family as can make it down from PA to see her every year. This year was no exception. Grandma Ruby begins looking for me sometime around September & is often convinced that I am down the hall from her calling for my mom.

Grandma Ruby raised 4 boys & a girl so she knew the "in's & out's" of people like me. She lived with me for many years and has had a profound impact upon my life. Last year, Grandma was diagnosed with breast cancer but is not in any pain (none that she'd admit to). She does not want any treatment but chooses to complete her life as it is. I'm not sure if I'll be making the trip to the nursing home next Thanksgiving to see her or not, but it doesn't really bother me. I am at peace with her situation & my relationship to her. I know where she'll be going in Eternity and I have had no regrets about my history with her.

If I can say anything about one aspect of her life that has impacted me, it would be that in nearly every one of my memories of her, she has always been laughing. If she wasn't laughing, she was making others laugh. She was always positive and always believing in the best in a situation. And she could laugh at herself better than anyone else could. Grandma Ruby outlived 3 husbands - the first being my paternal Grandfather, Berlie Leslie, who died when my dad was a teenager of the dreaded disease tuberculosis. The second being a man I vaguely remember as "Papa Gus" Tolleson, and the third was the man I could regard as my true "grandpa", Isaac McDaniel, who Grandma met while still in her 70s. He brought her much joy in her so late in her life. His sharp wit was a perfect match for her sense of humor.

Grandma Ruby was not overly "spiritual", but she was spirited. She respected & honored her Lord & Savior Jesus Christ, but she didn't rub Him into anyone else's face. She enjoyed a good glass of home made muskidine wine as much as she enjoyed making the wild cherry jelly from the dozens of quarts of cherries I had picked while climbing in the trees near my house as a boy. She could tell & would enjoy hearing any joke that had just a slight tinge of "blue"...but none that were too coarse. And you could always feel free to make any comments about her "big butt" or about her being an "old fart" without any fear of offending her.

I am thankful that my children have been able to experience getting to know Grandma Ruby and I'm glad she has been able to see her great-grandsons grow up in front of her. I do not think she really comprehends the tremendous impact she has made upon our family. I do know that I will have a part of Grandma Ruby in my life until I, too, leave this earth & join her in Heaven...where she will be doing a lot of what she does even now in a rest home.

Laughing.

Institutional Racist

Yeah. I'm an institutional racist. I graduated from a university that smears the name & the image...not to mention the honor of a race of people. We aggressively & routinely remind students & fans of our football team of the primitive and backward beginnings of the Native American people. We mock their sacred traditions and dress. We meaninglessly chant the sacred Native American battle cries at sporting events. Yes, my Alma Mater, Arkansas State University chose to christen their athletic program with the Indian mascot because they felt it was the most adequate method of insulting all Native Americans and to elevate the superiority of the white man above the savages.

Is that what these groups want us to say?? Well, I said it.

Now get over it.

The Comanche Nation College of Lawton, Oklahoma (note...they come from over 250 miles away...in another state!) has been beleagering the Faculty Senate at ASU about changing the University's mascot.

Brian Daffron, a former ASU student, and his family were present to provide a Native American perspective on the Indian mascot issue. Daffron, who teaches at Comanche Nation College, thanked the faculty for passing resolutions in recent years aimed at getting rid of the Indian mascot. Daffron spoke with enthusiasm about the need to do away with the mascot.
- from The Herald of Arkansas State University

I went to the school's website. I saw their faculty. I have more fingers & toes than they have staff. And just how is having a mascot, which actually honors Native Americans & their tenatious spirit, can be views in an aggressive or offensive manner is purely beyond my scope. Heck, if I were in the Faculty Senate at ASU, I would give them written permission to call the Comanche Nation College football team the "Commanche Nation College Palefaces"!! It wouldn't bother me.

Furthermore, I would also tell this windbag former student that when the State of Oklahoma changes IT'S name, ASU will change their mascot.

Daffron concluded that the ASU Indian family’s depiction of Native Americans was offensive to many, calling it institutional racism.

I looked up "Oklahoma" and found this:

The name Oklahoma comes from the language of the Choctaw people, who were removed from Mississippi to "Indian Territory" by the United States Government in the early to mid-1800s. "Oklahoma" is a combination of two Choctaw words: okla which means "people," (as in the term "Miliki okla," which means "American people"), and homa, "homma," or "humma," various spellings of the Choctaw word which means, among other denotations, "red." - From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

RED?

Oh, now that should really rile up ol' Daffron.

I had always thought choosing a mascot was a way of honoring something...not insulting it. Will all the Audobon Society members start flocking to schools who call their athletic teams "the Eagles"?? Will we start seeing Jack Hanna at the Columbus Zoo start bringing lawsuits against schools for their derrogatory depictions of Tigers?

Brian is the Adjunct Professor of English at CNC. Maybe he can use the fine education he received at ASU to do some serious research as to how the use of the Indian mascot is damaging to Native Americans...and make it pertinent to ASU. Not to the general Native American public. I guess keeping the authenticity of the Native American spirit alive doesn't count...unless it's done by a Comanche.

Thank Mom

You know of the "mother's curse", don't you?

It's when your mom says to you, "You just wait. I hope you have one just like you were!"

My mom said it to me. I she got what she wanted. And she's not even around anymore to laugh. My genes are evenly distributed between my two boys. My oldest got my gift of gab & my outgoing personality. My youngest got my temperment. All of it. And he got just as much patience in life as I did, which ain't saying much. Oh, and did I mention that he was the Leslie who got all of the bullheadedness? This is a trait that comes from a looong line of ancestors. Actually, my oldest got some of this, too. But the "bullheaded Leslie" trait was most generous to my youngest.

Not only does this mean he wants it his way and his way only, but it also means that he ain't going to wait long for it eather.

Take going to have our annual Christmas pictures taken for example. When we make our appointment at Sears for this, the clerk has come to begin asking their supervisor for overtime. If the photographer moves Daniel's hands to his lap, he will immediately move them to each side. If we say, "smile", he will pucker. When I press for his cooperation, he has a meltdown in tears. One year it was so bad that the photo showed his stained face despite the computer touch-ups.

Today, I told him that in order for him to be able to watch TV or play, he is to make his bed & pick up his toys. He declared he didn't want to do that, so I gave him a choice: Either do as he was asked or he could choose to sit on his unmade bed for the duration of the day, alone in his room. So he chose to make his bed...but got majorly impatient when he put his bedspread on because it was twisted. He did not have the patience to untwist it & only become more bullheaded, frustrated, and angry the more he fought with the spread. So I told him he could sit on his bed until he cooled off.

Yeah, now that was a thought.

He sat on his bed & wailed, "I want my moooooooom-my!!!!" Then I heard grunting noises as if he were struggling with something. When I went in, there he was pulling at his shirt apparently trying to rip it to shreds. That one got him a paddling and he still had to sit on his bed.

Nevertheless, since I have walked more than a mile in his shoes, I knew what it was going to take to get my goal accomplished in this child. And I won the battle of wills - this time.

And don't even get me started about the potty training.

I can only pray that God is gracious enough to allow Mom to watch this sight from her perch in Heaven. I know if she is, she is getting plenty of satisfaction. And I also think that she would be quite proud of how well I've been able to handle the situation. At least I know what to expect...and what happens next.

Before you get the idea that this kid is a little hellion, let me also be quick to point out that this bullheaded Leslie of mine can charm the socks right off both feet simultaneously. His brown eyes can roll around grab you by the heart & hold on for dear life. When being told goodnight at bedtime, he wraps one arm around my neck & places the other hand on my mouth to "shush" me. Then, he whispers that he has a secret...only to whisper some gibberish in my ear that I pretend to understand. Then he yells out, "Dad! Don't go yet!" and holds me down by the neck in a vicious headlock.

I really don't feel like fighting him on this issue anyway.

Troubled Times...?

PLANET-DISSOLVING DUST CLOUD IS HEADED TOWARD EARTH!
It was spewed from a black hole 28,000 light years from Earth and is vaporizing everything in its path, astronomers say!

Okay, it was a headline from the Weekly World News, but nevertheless it does makes for a rather foreboding forcast. And today I've had a disjointed, chaotic day at work where I had to do 3 different jobs just to complete one simple one...and all day on the news we're watching a very slow, strengthening Hurricane Rita swirl its way toward the coast of Galveston, TX. My aunt called saying she's packing up & heading out of Pearland, TX (where she's lived all my natural life) which is situated just south of Houston.

As I was getting ready for work this morning, I wondered if what I've been saying will really happen. I've always believed that I would not die a natural death...but would live to see the coming of Christ in my lifetime. I'm sure many before me thought the same thing when life around them seemed to spin out of control. Yet I wonder, "Is this the time?" Prophets have said that strange occurrances will happen prior to the day of Christ's return. But are these the occurrances or will we have occurrances even stranger yet?

Enter the Weekly World News.

Scared-stiff astronomers have detected a mysterious mass
they've dubbed a "chaos cloud" that dissolves everything in its path, including comets, asteroids, planets and entire stars -- and it's headed directly toward Earth!

Discovered April 6 by NASA's Chandra X-ray Observatory, the swirling, 10 million-mile- wide cosmic dust cloud has been likened to an "acid nebula" and is hurtling toward us at close to the speed of light -- making its estimated time of arrival 9:15 a.m. EDT on June 1, 2014.

"The good news is that this finding confirms several cutting- edge ideas in theoretical physics," announced Dr. Albert Sherwinski, a Cambridge based astrophysicist with close
ties to NASA.

"The bad news is that the total annihilation of our solar
system is imminent."

Experts believe the chaos cloud is composed of
particles spawned near the event horizon of a black hole (a form of what's called Hawking Radiation) that have been distorted by mangled information spewed from the hole.

"A super-massive black hole lies about 28,000
light-years from Earth at the center of our galaxy," explained Dr. Sherwinski.

"Last year the eminent physicist Stephen Hawking revised his theory of black holes -- which previously held that nothing could escape the hole's powerful gravitational field. He demonstrated that information about objects that have been sucked in can be emitted in mangled form.

"It now appears that mangled information can distort matter.

"Just imagine our galaxy the Milky Way as a beautiful, handwritten letter.

"Now imagine pouring a glass of water on the paper and watching the words dissolve as the stain spreads. That's what the chaos cloud does to every star or planet it encounters."

To avoid widespread panic, NASA has declined to make the alarming discovery public. But Dr. Sherwinski's contacts at the agency's Chandra X-ray Observatory leaked to him striking images of the newly discovered chaos cloud obliterating a large asteroid.

"It's like watching a helpless hog being dissolved in a vat of acid," one NASA scientist told Dr. Sherwinski.

Ordinarily, Hawkings Radiation is harmless.

"It's produced when an electron- positron pair are at the event horizon of a black hole," Dr. Sherwinski explained. "The intense curvature of space-time of the hole can cause the positron to fall in, while the electron escapes."

But when "infected" by mangled information from the black hole, the particles become a chaos cloud, which in turn mangles everything it touches.

"If it continues unchecked, the chaos cloud will eventually reduce our galaxy to the state of absolute chaos that existed before the birth of the universe," the astrophysicist warned.

Some scientists say mankind's best hope would be to build a "space ark" and hightail it to the Andromeda Galaxy, 2.1 million light-years away.

"We wouldn't be able to save the entire human population, but perhaps the best and the brightest," observed British rocket scientist Dr. David Hall, when asked about the feasibility of such a project.

But even if such a craft could be built in time, evacuating Earth might prove fruitless if theories about the origin of the chaos cloud are correct.

"A black hole at the center of Andromeda is about 15 times the size of the one in our own galaxy," Dr. Sherwinski noted. "It might be like jumping out of the frying pan into the fire."

Speaking under the condition of anonymity, a senior White House official said the president's top science advisors are taking the findings in stride.

"This is a lot like global warming, where the jury is still out on whether it's real or not," said the official.

"The existence of this so called chaos cloud is only a theory. Americans shouldn't panic until all the facts are in."

However, who's to say what factual is? Of one thing I can be certain: While I may not know what will happen the next day, I am certain of my outcome. God help me to make it to that point.

Katrina Was MY Fault!

I'll admit it.

I did it.

I caused Katrina. I was responsible for the torrent of water & wind that completely inundated New Orleans & leveled most of southwest Mississippi. I was the one who dumbfounded the New Orleans Emergency Management Operations and the one who interruped the flow of information from FEMA to the local & state authorities.

I did it all.

Now, you have a confession so maybe this will keep you from blaming God, blaming President George W. Bush, blaming FEMA, or blaming the rich white bigots.

Here's a newsflash: Nobody OWES you anything. You must take responsibility for all the actions you did or did NOT do....such as "making like Noah and getting the FLOCK out of New Orleans" when every weather bureau in the country was giving descriptions of what would happen to buildings, trees, and canals before the catagory 4 storm made landfall.

So many in the storm area was expecting something I would call a, "McStorm" instead of what really plowed through their city. So many expected an arsenal of rescue personnel to be standing on their guard around the perimiter of the city to immediately surge in after the storm surge to rescue them after they REFUSED to leave town after the warnings.

I have no problem with those who chose to stay & ride out the storm. But don't go blaming anyone other than yourself for what happens if you do. It is no different than not voting and then complaining about the unfairness of the voting system. It's just not consistent.

Personally, I can think of no other man to have at the helm of this country than George W. Bush during these last several years. And for that matter, while I would prefer not to be in any catastrophy, I can think of no better country to endure a catastrophy than the United States of America.

Dazed & Confused

I sit watching the TV, wishing I could just turn it off. But, I can't. It's invisible tractor-beam has me harnessed as thousands -- dazed & confused -- wander aimlessly onto deserted freeways in a metropolitan city known as New Orleans.

They're not the only ones who are dazed & confused.

I, too, am wandering aimlessly. I'm wondering what on earth can I do to help. I am not made of money but I did give to relief organizations and even to individuals who I felt compelled to offer some kind of compassion. I'm dazed at the unending stream of desparation that belches out of the belly of the city...as if it has regurgitated all of its sustinance onto the earth.

New Orleans is becoming a Third World country.

I'm confused at the extremes the victims are going to in their desparation. Rescue efforts being suspended because those with stolen AK-47s are firing at the very hellicopters & other vehicles who are coming to their rescue.

Yet, I should not be surprised. I do not think this is any more the sign of the end times any more than I thought the attacks on New York on 9/11/01 was. However all of the events of our day do add up to point to the end times. Just as the Bible says the earth will groan like a pregnant woman about to give birth, our very planet is approaching the moment when a new Era will be born.

I believe I will see it with my own eyes before I meet a natural death. And, I have a compelling urge to be the messenger to others who do not see what lies ahead.

14b These are the ones coming out of the great tribulation. They washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb.
15 For this reason they are before the throne of God, and they serve Him day and night in His sanctuary. The One seated on the throne will shelter them:
16 no longer will they hunger; no longer will they
thirst; no longer will the sun strike them, or any
heat.
17 Because the Lamb who is at the center of the throne
will shepherd them;He will guide them to springs of living waters,and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes. (Rev. 7; HCSB)

1 Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea existed no longer.
2 I also saw the Holy City, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared like a bride adorned for her husband.
3 Then I heard a loud voice from the throne:Look! God’s dwelling, or tabernacle is with men, and He will live with them. They will be His people, and God Himself will be with them and be their God.
4 He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Death will exist no longer; grief, crying, and pain will exist no longer, because the previous things have passed away. (Rev. 21; HCSB)

Not only does the people of New Orleans need to be reminded of this...we all do.

With No Apologies To My Indian Friends...

Stuff like this makes me puke.

The NCAA has now decided that they don't want to ruffle any feathers in the headress of Indian tribes -- oh, excuse me...Native American tribes. They now have decreed that while it is perfectly fine for colleges & universities to choose a mascot such as "Warriors", "Chiefs", or "Indians", those such schools will not be allowed to display their proud mascot at any "post-season" games that would carry the name of the NCAA.

So if my Alma Mater, the Arkansas State University Indians, make it to the play-offs in any sport, they are prohibited from displaying their mascot. What sort of team spirit are the fans going to show then? Textbooks?? I am appalled at the discrimination toward ASU by the NCAA by singling out us, and any other schools in the US who use mascots portraying Indians. Yes, I said "Indians" and yes, I said, "discriminating". They make one discrimination to protect another. How ludicrous.

ASU did not choose the Indian mascot to make fun of Native Americans. In fact, I know of no school who chose a mascot that relates to the Indians in some way did so out of hostility or any other reason. I think it's the white man that is more offended by the use of Indian-related terms than the Red Man. Heck, why don't the NCAA ban the word Arkansas. The very name of the state is a derivative of the Chickasaw Indians.

From ESPN:

Arkansas State University, whose teams are known as the Indians, said Friday
that their use of the mascot is done with respect and the school's sports teams
will continue to use it.
"It is our objective to represent Native Americans
in a dignified and stately manner," ASU atheltic director Dean Lee said. "We
believe that our use of the nickname 'Indians' and 'The Indian Family' as our
mascot affords the Native American customs and history the fullest respect and
integrity."
Vernon Bellecourt, president of the National Coalition on Racism
in Sports and Media, was pleased with the postseason ban but had hoped for even
stronger action.

RACISM? Oh, fercryinoutloud! These people should get a life. They have way too much time on their hands to be sitting around trying to come up with new ways we are offending people. This kind of crap offends ME.

I have friends who are Indians. One very good friend lived in Buffalo, NY and was a proud member of the Senaca Nation. This is a tribe that literally gave Benjamin Franklin the inspiration to design the United States in a democratic fashion. The Senacas were using a democratic form of government in their tribe centuries before the US even thought of rebelling against the King of England. So, let's just stop using democracy in this country, too, because we are offending the Senacas.

If we're going to jump on this silly bandwagon, just cut the political correctness....and give the land back to the Native Americans! That would do more for this race of people than "protecting" them from some college football team.


Go stAte, GO!

Are Dry Counties Becoming "All Wet"?

I grew up in my hometown of Booneville, AR and had a great deal of pride in the fact that this little parcel of land in South Logan County was dry. That for miles around, not a drop of alcohol could be bought, sold, or found...legally, at least. Just a few short miles away in North Logan County, in the county seat of Paris, one could get all the booze you could find. My late father would proudly say that if anyone wanted beer, they could drive to Paris & get it and may hopefully not make it back to Booneville if they got too sloshed to drive.

Now, times may be a-changin'. In a recent article in my hometown newspaper, the local town planners raised the question of survival. And it included the possibility of selling alcohol. Now, this would have been unthinkable years ago. But to have it even considered now, I think, shows just how desparate my hometown has become.

I remember when Booneville had the chance to have a new Pizza Hut come into town. Sadly, however, that eatery ended up 28 miles north in the town of Ozark where it is still located to this day. The reason for the move? Booneville would not allow the franchise to serve beer, so the restaurant high-tailed it to (wet) Franklin County. And so the trend continued with my hometown for the 30 or more years since.

An interesting quote from the newspaper article from the local Chamber of Commerce executive director:

it was time the city consider becoming "wet" because dryness has been shown
to not reduce nor stop consumption of alcohol which means taxes from the
purchases are being made in other cities and or counties.

I have been living away from my hometown now since 1986. Yes, I've lived in an entire state that is more or less "wet". Yet I have seen communities that are equally as conservative as my hometown, and serve liquor. I've not seen any difference in the crime or morality that can be attributed to the consumption/distribution of alcohol.

What I did see the last time I visited my dry hometown was a community that looked ragged & run down. I saw homes that cried to be maintained & cared for. I just seemed to me that somewhere during the time I was gone from my hometown, the janitor must've died because everything just seemed to be looking frumpy.

I have come to the conclusion that it is not the element of a vice (i.e. alcohol) that determines a community's appearance. It is character. Alcohol is not the problem. Being "wet" is not the problem. Character is the problem. A community can be up to its proverbial ears in alcohol but if it has good character, it should not affect it.

By character, I mean churches that effectively, lovingly, and discerningly display compassion, correction, and communication about good character. I mean a community that looks out for its citizens. Businesses that take an active role in the lives of the people it serves. Government leaders who are honest & hard working for the residents. Law enforcement who are fair and just that do not play favorites with people. Judicial officals who will not tolerate crime & delinquency and who will be wise in their decisions. And people of the community who take genuine pride in not just their home, but the home of their neighbor and the homes of their neighborhood.

Sometimes, to quote my late father, we cut off our noses to spite our face. I believe this has been the issue of alcohol when it comes to being able to attract new businesses (and new money) to my hometown of Booneville. And, I think the time has come to stop hiding behind the facade of prohibition. Why? Because I know that there may be some who, while sounding off against becoming a "wet" county, are secretly driving out of their "dry" county to buy booze. That is hypocritical. And it's choking the economy of Booneville.

Love To Like You

Children often can be so transparent. One rarely has to dig deep below the surface of a child's mind. Their innocence & their vulerability is like the sweet glaze on top of a donut. It's very thin, sweet, and easily dissolved. They'll say things at times you not only least expect them to do so, but can say things at time that you'd prefer they not say at all. Like the story about the little boy who, when asked by his Sunday School teacher to tell the rest of the group where he thought God lived, replied, "In my bathroom". The thunderstruck teacher wanted to know where on earth the boy came up with that answer was then caught flatfooted when he told her that his dad would always stand in front of the bathroom door and scream, My God, are you still in there?!?!?"

One of my favorite things to watch on TV are the Art Linkletter/Allen Funt/Bill Cosby type where kids are shown in their purest form saying exactly what's on their minds. They say great wisdom comes with age, but I think you can learn a lot from a child, too.

In this vein, it continues to be dumbfounding to me how anyone can harm a child. How anyone could do harm to another person, for that matter, but especially to a child. A child so trusting and innocent that would be taken advantaged of in the worst possible way. Now in today's world, we must teach children how to scream & carry on to draw attention to themselves should they ever be abducted by some psycho who had persuaded the child to come with them by feigning an attempt to find their lost puppy.

Lord knows I'm no expert parent. I just try to do what I remember my parents doing with me (and whether it worked or not). And I had a good set of parents. I want to get a t-shirt made that says on the front, "I came from a dysfunctional family..." And on the back, it would read, "...my parents stayed married." I was taught about God, mankind, work, sex, reality. I had nothing candy-coated. What is, is "what is". As a family, we are now mulling over the possibility of being foster parents. However one stipulation in the program is that there can be "no physical discipline". What? Yep... no spankings, no hand-slapping, no mouth-boxing...all for disobedience or other forms of misbehavior. We must "softball" our discipline.

We don't do that with our own kids, so we'd either have to change our discipline behavior with everyone or we would have to cause a division between our kids & our foster kids on how we deal with behavior. I'm not sure I like either option. I do spank my kids when they disobey and I even "box their ears down" when they mouth off to me or Mommy. I don't "beat" them, of course, but I have no reservations in "applying the board of education to the seat of learning"...if you know what I mean.

I have two small children, with the oldest just starting kindergarten this fall. The younger is 18 months apart from the oldest. And, true to form, they both are very transparent in what they say or how they react. Many times as I sit at the computer, sit in church, or be somewhere I'm easily accessable to my boys, one of them will occasionally walk up to me & pucker their lips for a quick "peck". My youngest will often sit in my lap at church where he'll reach up & kiss my cheek & I will reciprocate. And this exchange of "butterfly kisses" will be repeated several times.

However one trait that is prevalent is when (usually) my oldest will speak up or come to me & say, "Dad...?" To which I'll reply with, "Yes...?"

"Um. . . " And his gaze will drift upward & you think he's forgotten what it was he wanted to say, before he will continue.

"I like you."

Now this may sound odd to you because one would expect your child to say, "I love you" before saying, "I like you", right? Actually, I think it would be more like stating the obvious if my son did that. You see, in a home that has both firm discipline with love & acceptance one would expect their children to feel "loved". It sort of "comes with the territory".

But to say "I like you" speaks differently. I remember my uncle years ago when he became very angry at my ornery cousin & punished him for his behavior. He snapped to him & said, "I love you, John, but right now I don't like you very much." I thought, "Wow! That is hardcore!" But it was a truthful, authentic expression.

Likewise, when my children say to me, "I like you", I believe they are saying it out of love and it speaks volumes. I think it reveals their contentment, confidence, and their comfort in their relationship with me. I believe every good parent likes to love their children. However, how many have loved to like them?

Taking Your Shots

There's little that occurrs with me anymore that involves my kids that prevents a lump from forming in my throat. Watching two babies who were barely able to keep their own eyes open grow up into two distinct individuals has its "keeper" moments. Like some that happened over the past year as my oldest son acheived the milestone of 5 years old. He turned 5 as he & his younger brother of 18 months were camping with me at a church-sponsored weekend event. I'm not much of camping solo, but love doing it when in the company of others. And I can think of camping with no one else than those who worship with me each week. My children have been taught & blessed by those in my church & the influence that has been passed on to my children from those in my church have been invaluable.

We awoke on the morning before my son's birthday to find our tend wrapped in blue crepe paper ribbon & a little bag of goodies sitting by the door of our tent. This thrilled my oldest to no end to know that someone other than his own family recognized that he was about to celebrate a birthday. That caused a lump. Hearing my son go from one person to the next at breakfast the next day on our camping trip to ask each person in our church, "Do you know how old I am?" and to hear them respond by faking an incorrect guess caused a lump, too.

This past week, we had to go to the doctor for our physical in order for him to be enrolled in kindergarten. I told him he had to have an "inspection". That seemend to do the trick & keep his mind off the fact he was going to the doctor...and he wasn't even sick. He did real well, too. He cooperated with the nurse when it came time for his eye & ears test. He knew right where to stand on the scale when he was weighed. And he knew what to do when they measured his height along the wall scale. He blabbered the whole time telling the nurse all about his camping experience and that he was now "five" and had received some "cool" presents. We had a private party where he opened all his gifts once we had arrived home from the camping trip & had all had a bath. He got lots of Spiderman goodies which he had to tell everyone he met of his windfall.

Once inside the examination room, he continued to talk all about what he knew was going to happen. He was going to have his "inspection" (a term that appeared to take the nurse aback since I'm sure that term has not been used much for giving someone a physical exam) and he would not cry when he had to get his shots. Keep in mind this boy has a low tolerance for any pain whatsoever. He cannot resist shedding tears when he bumps his elbow. Needless to say, when he got his three shots in the arm, he sqalled like a baby. Yeah, I got a lump then, too. But when he understood that he would be getting a Dilly Bar at Dariy Queen, the tears did not last as long as they used to.

Being a father for 5 years continues to cause me to be baffled more & more at how any anyone could come remotely close to causing harm to a child. It was torture to watch the nurse poke a sharp needle into the arm of my son, and I cannot imagine how anyone could knowingly and deliberately do bodily harm to or worse yet, emotional harm to, a child.

We recently took our boys to the Pittsburgh Children's Museum. In there was the exhibit of Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood. Knowing what I know about the late Fred Rogers, it brought many lumps into my throat listening to the music Rogers had wrote & sang on his PBS TV show and knowing just how much he treasured each little child he entertained on his show. He took so many shots at those who ran his show down or who even ran him down. Yet, he took it all in stride & it impacted the lives of many children all over this nation and this world. Including me.

There will be many things in life that will be taking shots at you in life. Some will be as painfull as a 5 year old sitting through 3 vaccinations in the arm. Yet, all of them...though painful... will act to defend you and protect you from the hostile influences that will infect your life later down the road.

Bonding With An Expatriate

I am unapologetically Scottish. The Leslies began around 1089 in Aberdeenshire, Scotland with a fellow named Bartholomew from Hungary. We have a castle of sorts that was reconstructed from the ruins by Baron David Leslie, who has since sold it to a Swiss millionaire. David still lives near the castle in a smaller house. One day, I hope to make it to Leslie, Aberdeenshire to visit places that were occupied by my ancestors...in fact, I am relishing the chance. Family history facinates me intensely.

But until that day comes, I must "visit" via the World Wide Web. I have several photos that were emailed to me from one dear soul who lives near Leslie and this has only intensified my desire to visit my "native land". However, I have been privliged to have recently acquaint myself with an expatriate from Scotland through a co-worker of mine. Seems that she met this lad while she lived in Scotland for a year or so & fell in love with him. He has made his second visit to the US & now he and I have become good friends. I will soon be taking him on a Sunday trip to visit yet another fellow Scot (Clan McFersonson) to enjoy an afternoon of shooting. I don't shoot, but my new Scottish friend does, being a former enlistee of the Scottish Army.

I am quite eager be able to get to know my new Scottish friend since our journey will be a 90 minute ride to hook up with McFerson. I've never had a chance to engage with a native Scot and the thought of becoming good friends with someone from my "homeland" is facinating at the least...and simply exhilerating at best.

Leslie history has gripped me since my joining the Clan Leslie Society and attending a couple of the bi-annual gatherings held at various Highland Games nearby. About the only thing that could give me a bigger buzz is to actually meet a true Leslie who lives in Aberdeenshire, Scotland. I'm afraid if that ever happened, I may be given a restraining order from that person.

It is too bad that family & the genuine interest in one's roots or heritage is not as facinating with most of society as it used to be. I find a sort of comfort in knowing where I came from & how my namesake got here. When I tell others of my interest in my family's roots, they express such envy of my passion. Like it's something I have that they cannot obtain. Yet, it is not that difficult to persue. It only takes a little curiosity & a desire to do a bit of research. I have not joined any of those sites on the Internet where you must pay to access birth or marraige records of one's relatives. I just have joined a few free listservs that do nothing more than connect people together.

Do you know how posessed I am about this whole Scotland thing? I have a "teach yourself Gaelic" course (I've only made it to Chapter One because the 18 character Gaelic Alphabet is befuddling the daylights out of me). I ordered a book/CD release of ScotSpeak written by two Scottish university professors on how to properly speak Scots English with the appropriate dialect for four different Scottish regions (Dumfreys, Edinburgh, Glasgow, and Aberdeenshire). I have a huge Scottish flag displayed in my office at work and a small Scottish windsock hung from my car's rearview mirror.

Oh, and I have also been one of the brave souls who have ingested haggis. Trust me. If you have to ask, you don't need to know.

Okay, there is a few things that are typically Scottish that I do not do. I'm not much into golf, I'm not Presbyterian, nor am I a whiskey drinker. But I can listen to a Scotsman talk all day long. And I plan on using the time I have with my new Scottish expatriate friend wisely to learn as much as much as I can about the culture of my family's birth and to help him have a deeper love for his home, too.

Settling In

Well, I've been at my new home now for about a year and a half. After spending half my time with a yard full of rocks and mud, I have some grass (operative word being "some") to show off. Most of the boxes are unpacked and the ones that aren't are still downstairs in the still unfinished basement where I will one day have a room to myself...my "office"...a place where I can retreat & separate myself from the duties of adulthood.

I've been married almost 8 years and have been living on my own for about 20. It's not been an easy 20 years, but I know it has been blessed. I've seen how my zealous dogmatism of my days in college has been tempered by the lifestyle of rural northwest Pennsylvania. I now dream of making this newly built home a final stop before my next move: Into a pine box.

Yes, I am crazy enough to think that this will be the place where I will spend the rest of my life. Is that so crazy when you stop to think about it?

I have a job that, so far, appears to be good. It's not the job I moved my family here for, and it is one I must drive for 45 minutes to & from work. But it is a good job in a field I know & enjoy, and it is with a company that has, so far, been encouraging and fair. My wife appears to have now found a job that will offer far less stress - and far less pay - and more time to be flexable to spend with the rest of the family.

I'm not rich by any stretch of the imagination. I like to say that I'm just more in debt than most. But that's not true, either, because my wife has a good handle on the finances....far beyond what I would ever be able to do.

I have two boys with which one has my temperment and the other, my personality. One lookes like me, the other looks like my wife. They are 18 months apart in age - perfect to either be bitter enemies or co-horts in plotting against the parents.

There is nothing stellar about me, my job, my family, or my situation in life. And I think this is typical of most people. We keep thinking there will be something extraordinary that will occur in our lives that will transform us into a new paradigm shift. I think that is the exception, rather than the norm. Instead, I prefer to bloom where I'm planted.

I have grown tired trying to manipulate people into what I think they should be and have instead accepted them for what they already are. I look for opportunities to share a little about me and about what I believe out of a genuine love for the person and a willingness to be genuine with my friendship. Not out of a desire to angle someone into a corral to try to harness them into conformity.

I may not agree with their style, their beliefs, their political persuasion, or their philosophy. But I try to meet them where they are. And if I am able to share with them a bit of who I am and why I believe the way I do, that is great. And should they desire to know more about me and why I believe the way I do, that's awesome. My highest form of ecstacy is when another chooses to follow what I believe. And that decision is based on their genuine choice, not my crafty manimpulation.

Yes, I'm settling in to not just my newly built home, but my new neighbors, my new church, my new job, and my new surroundings. After a few awkward adjustments, and a little "breaking in", it appears things are starting to feel a bit more comfortable.

Evangelism Vs. Committment

The Great Commission admonishes us to "go into the world and make disciples". So most may understand this to mean that we drop what we're doing & hit the road. Jesus had also made the statement that if "anyone loved his father or mother more than Me, is not worthy of Me." So we should all "take up our Cross daily and follow Him, right?

Maybe.

Yes, I said, "Maybe". Why? Because I have since wondered if we're not trying to create a hybrid gospel from two different directions. I have always been told I should "be a witness" for Christ. That I need to pray to ask God to "help me be a witness" for Him. It suddently dawned on me that no one has to "be a witness" at all. Even the last verses in Matthew (that we have labeled, "The Great Commission" passage) never says anyone has to, "be a witness".

It says "you shall be My witnesses".

Big difference, Chester. Big difference. If you know Christ as the Lord & Savior of your life, whether you want to (or like it) or not, you are a witness. Plain and simple. Christ first wants our devotion, He wants our desires, He wants our passion. He wants us to want Him more than we want our parents, our spouse, our children...our red Corvette... Then, once we have chosen Him above & beyond all others, He says that we will be a witness for Him. We don't have to try to be - or ask for help at being - a witness. We are one.

The Great Commission, in actuality, is not saying we are to drop what we are doing & "be a witness". What the intention of this passage is saying is "As you go about in the world around you, make disciples". Include disciple-making in your plans. It doesn't say to enroll in an Evangelism Explosion course and start trying to convert every pagan in sight. It is implying that in your travels, in your circle of friends and acquaintences, and in your "world", find ways to make disciples, too.

Now, can a person be a "disciple" and not be committed to Christ? Obviously, the answer is "no". Can a person be evangelistic & not committed to Christ? Well...yes. Anyone can take a salesmanship course on salvation. Being "a witness" is not necessarily connected to being a Christian. But being a Christian certainly has a lot to do with being evangelistic.

I believe God is saying we should not have to have the pressure of being someone we are not in order to share who we are in Him. And we shouldn't work ourselves up if we see another Believer who is not who we think they should be just because they are not acting like we think a Christian ought. It is God who is the One to determine how committed to Him each person really is.

So for me to assume that if you are not as evangelistic as I then you are not as committed as I, is doing the body of Christ a genuine disservice. Your committment to God should have no bearing on my assumption on you. God uses each one of His Servants to accomplish what He intends. For me to question how He uses another servant for His Purpose is to usurp His Divine Authority in creation.

Besides, if I spend most of my time fretting over the committment of others, I have little time to evaluate my own committment to Christ...and my evangelistic zeal will soon loose its edge.

Deathwatching

Talk about a morbid society.

We spent countless days hearing and watching Terri Schiavo slip into death as she was left on her own after her feeding tube was removed. Terri, who doctors say was severely mentally handicapped after an eating disorder caused her to slip into a coma, told her husband that she did not want to be hooked up to a machine if she could not live on her own. He was carrying out her wishes (sans a legal document called a "living will") and ended up being lionized for his decisions. Yeah, I know there area two sides to every story and I'm sure I'm not getting both of them. I'm not going to get in the middle of this with a long drawn out opinion. But I will say this whole case is a good lesson in setting up a living will.

If I specify in my living will (with sound mind & judgment) that if I become incapacitated in some way that I do not want to be kept alive by tubes & monitors -- even to the extent that if I have no quality of life left -- I desire to be euthanized, then the medical team has no other choice but to follow my wishes.

Most folks when they get married at an early age never think about setting up a will of any kind. This is about as stupid as buying a car & not setting up insurance.

Now for the family of Terri Schiavo, all they got was a media circus as everyone watched her slowly die. Here's the wild thing about this: I heard on the news that some individuals were willing to pay their own money to keep her alive. Now, if my father or mother were in this situation, why wouldn't someone do this for me? How silly. While this deathwatch was going on, all the kooks and maniacs were parading around in front of news cameras ...some even were allowed to open their mouths on national TV... and turning the whole process into a mockery.

Where are these loonies when it is being debated on whether or not to abort a baby?

Where are these bozos as another deathwatch is literally following right after Schiavo's death? The Pope of the Roman Catholic Church lies in the Vatican slipping in and out of consciousness. Did they remove HIS feeding tube? He chose to leave this earth in his Vatican apartment. Not in a hospital. Where are all the maniacs screaming at the biships & priests demanding that the Pontiff be placed in a facility where they can keep him alive? What is the difference?

The thing that is most morbid is that now we have two deathwatches in a row ... and it is the primary focus of all the media attention. The whole nation is fixated on dying. What is wrong with this???

You know what I've been doing? Ive been celebrating life by totally immersing myself in my two little boys. I am soaking up everytime they repeatedly say, "Daddy!" - even if it's the 467th time today. I am giving them my undivided attention when they ask me something. I am telling them about their family...their other relatives from whom they decended. I am exploring their world and re-examining mine.

When this whole deathwatch is over, can we please try a little lifewatching for a while?

A Real Life Relay

Late next month, the local chapter of the American Cancer Society will kick off their annual Relay For Life in my hometown of Booneville, AR. I remember my early involvment with the ACS back when I was in elementary & middle school. I had the privledge of working with one of my hometown's most prominent citizens, Marcelle Phillips, by being asked to serve as the "Jr. Crusade Chairman" for the ACS back in the 1970s. I entered the ACS Bike-A-Thon where I won top prizes for sponsorship & monies raised. Little did I know that what I was doing was just a forerunner to just how essential my participaton in the ACS was. What would happen on that one eventful day by the time I was in the eighth grade would remain with me for life.

Mom had her regular check-up at the doctor's office where the doctor discovered a lump in her breast. The biopsy was sent off for diagnosis & mom returned to the doctor once the results had come in. I remember all of us standing in the kitchen together after Dad called everyone together once Mom returned from the doctor's office. Mom stood next to him, not saying anything. Dad informed myself & my sister that the tumor that was discovered was found to be malignant. My sister didn't know what that word meant & asked Dad about it. Dad said in a broken voice, "Your Mother has cancer."

Then, he turned & left the room.

We all followed him, not saying a word, up the hallway into their bedroom where Dad sat down on the bedside. Mom sat next to him with my sister & I next to her. I remember seeing the outline of my dad sitting in front of the bedside lamp with his head in his hands. And he began to sob. I had never seen my dad cry before in my life & as a 14 year old, this caused me great anxiety & turmoil. I knew this was big time.

Mom told Dad that he should not be upset because they hadn't begun treatment & we really did not know anything else. My Dad could only think of having two children without a mother...and he without a companion.

Mom had her mastectomy & began her radiation treatments & we were prepped about what could happen once these treatments began. However, the only side effects Mom had was the sore throat & loss of energy. She went every week to get the radiation treatments & was contantly examined to make sure "they got it all".

They didn't.

Two years later, a second lump was found in her other breast that was diagnosed as malignant. And this time, she went through chemotherapy. And, the only side effects she had was nausea & the usual symptoms. In both treatments, however, she never lost her hair.

And, Mom lived another 25 years after these proceedures.

That's when they found lumps cropping up in her lungs. Again, this stemmed from the prior breast cancer she had contracted earlier. The new (at the time experimental) drug, tomoxiphin, had been approved for use on cancer patients & she began taking doses of this...which bought another 5 or more years.

It was during this time she celebrated her 40th wedding anniversary & wanted the kids to throw her a party. She confessed to me that she was looking at this party as her "50th Anniversary" because she said, "I'll not make it to my real 50th".

And, true to her prophetic assumption, at age 67, more lumps were found. One in the pelvic area and another at the base of her cerebellum. She opted this time not to undergo any type of surgery because at her age and because of her loss of lung tissue from tuberculosis as a teenager, she would come out of the operation on a respirator for the rest of her life.

Mom died before she saw her 69th birthday in 2000.

Dispite living a life like this, Mom never turned down an opportunity to talk to other women (and their husbands) who had been diagnosed with breast cancer or who was looking at the possibilities of mastectomy. During these 30+ years, no one ever heard her complain about having cancer. No one ever heard her question God, blame God, or any other way deny the responsibility she had in having to deal with the disease. No one ever heard her express how she felt life had cheated her.

She only spent her last 30 years being an inspiration to others.

And to me.

To Reconcile or Not To Reconcile?

I have some challenges dealing with people who I've been "at odds" with. I am a person who will take on a disagreement head-on. And if I've done something to offend a person, I try to make it right & then move on. However, I have a lot of trouble with those who can't move on with me.

It bothers me when, after I've made a good faith attempt to make amends with another and then that person suddenly has changed their approach to me. Yes, I do realize there must be some time to recover or to earn back any trust issues that may have been lost. But to pull back & give a "stand-offish" treatment to me will not help improve the relationship.

I deal with issues like this first by bucking the treatment & trying to carry on as normal. I do this because I want the person to understand that I've taken responsibility for any action I was guilty of and I'm trying to re-establish our prior relaionship before the offense occurred. If that person fails to respond to my good-faith attempts at reconciliation, I surmise that the effort is a moot cause & resolve that this is merely a one-sided reconciliation attempt.

Depending on how much I feel there is left to salvage in situations like this, I may directly approach the person & "clue them in" on just what is going on. I have no trouble calling things out into the open & resolving the problem. But I see no sense in doing it if the other person refuses to cooperate.

What I can't seem to understand, I guess, is why -- after an individual has expressed the desire to not only seek forgiveness but also reconciliation -- that the other person just shuts down...giving only "lip service" to the friendship/relationship? If the shoe were on the other foot, I would be at least a little bit encouraged that the person was eagerly trying to restore a broken trust. I would think it would be like rubbing salt into a wound for me to draw away from such an attempt, even if I were the one who was offended.

I guess this is one of the great mysteries of humankind. I can only wish that everyone would be so willing to be transparent with one another. I believe this would go a long way at acheiving better relations with each other ...and maybe even between cultures & nations.

"The Talk" at 4

I picked up my oldest (Cameron, age 4 1/2) yesterday from our friend's house where he & his 3 year old brother stay until I get off work. We all go to the same church & our kids play together...all are pretty much the same age. They have 2 girls & a infant boy.

My friend told me how, while drinking a morning cup of coffee, heard whispering in the next room. There Cameron was found with my friend's youngest girl in an "intimate moment". Keep in mind that Cameron is our more emotional child who will erupt in a flow of tears & wails when he has to hug his brother & apologize for doing something to him.

Cameron was told that it is not acceptable to be doing what he was doing with a little girl. Now before you think this kid was "gittin' jiggy wit' it", there wasn't anything kinky about what occurred... But it was certainly an act that would not be encouraged as it could lead to other things.

As soon as he was confronted with this, the waterworks were turned on full. He burst out in blubbering & shame, covering his eyes & wailing. My friend tried to assure him he was not in trouble nor was he going to be punished. But that it was not a nice thing to be doing at his age.

I chose to approach him about this after supper just before bed time. I diverted his brother to the VCR & made my move while mommy was on the phone. I even began our talk by saying he was not in trouble. But as soon as I mentioned the incident, the blubbering began. He kept insisting he did not want to talk about it because he "didn't like it". However, I really felt if it was not talked about, it could become a repression issue.

What happened that was so emotionally traumatic for this 4 year old? Well, here's the story I heard... He said his little friend (and youngest daughter of our friends) whispered she loved him very much! He admitted that he felt happy when she told this to him. He responded with a hug for his new girlfriend. I wanted to assure him that what occurred was, indeed, a very special thing that happened and that it was very special to have someone tell another that they loved them.

I also wanted to caution him that mommy often tells me that she loves me and that makes me happy, too. A big grin spread across his face. I told him that this sort of thing happens all the time with grown-ups and when grown-ups get married by a pastor. I tried to also make him understand making each other "happy" should be done when he is older.

At least I'm pleased that this small incident didn't include my friend's son. I'll take my blessings where I can!

Life Is A Highway...

Have you ever those thoughts of what you would do in the event that a catastrophic event ever came to you? What do you do when you come within millimeters of living out that thougt?

It would be frightfull enough to encounter a Freightliner tractor-trailor in broad daylight when you are trying to regain control of a 5 passenger, four-door, Saturn SL1 after it had started fish-tailing on a flash-frozen bridge on a curve. Try doing this in the darkness of 5:00am. Watching as the beam of your headlights sweep across two lanes of a 4-lane interstate highway from one guard-rail to another.

You watch as the light illuminates the light shines as you go careening toward one of the guard-rails where you hear the slam of the vehicle against the rail, feel the force of the impact, and watch the fender on the outside of the car buckle outside your windshield. And then you watch it happen again. And this happens as your car is being ping-ponged with the Freightliner. Then, it is flung to the right berm against another guard-rail while a tractor-trailer rubs against your driver's door vibrating your entire seat.

Then the lights go out & you realize you are sitting in a haze of what you think is smoke...fearing the car will explode at any moment...only to realize it is the powder of the two airbags that exploded, saving you from who knows what. You try to get out of your seat belt and realize you can't open your door, so you begin trying to find an escape route from what you fear could be your tomb. Once outside, you try to scramble for the cell phone that you had on your waist before the crash, but you can't find a thing in the pitch darkness. Not even your flashlight.

That was pretty much what happened on Monday morning, Feb. 21 as I went to work. The car was totalled.

I could really go on a rampage, describing how I needed this like I did a hole in my head. I could rail about the fact that just when I thought that things were starting to upswing, the bottom fell out. I could cry and moan about how unfair this whole thing is. That nothing is going my way.

But why?

None of this will undo the experience, nor repair the mangled wreck that will soon be towed away for scrap. None of this will increase my bank account so I can pay off the debt from a loan on a car that is not worth more than it is owed for.

I can rejoice in the fact that in the 29 years I've been driving a car, this is the worst accident I've ever been in. I've traveled thousands of miles across multiple states. And this is the first. I can rejoice that I could get a car that may be better than the one that was totalled. I could rejoice that I have a lot to be thankful for. I have a job after being next to un-employed for well over a year & a half. That I have a home of my own. That I have two totally cute & wonderful little boys. That I have been married to a wonderful wife for almost 8 years.

That I'm alive.

Yeah. That sorta balances things out.

Old Home Week

Amazing what a simple thing like signing a guest book can do. All I did was sign a guestbook entry in the newly redesigned website for my hometown newspaper. Next thing I know, I'm getting email from old friends I haven't heard from in decades.

Which got me to thinking how time and separation really alters reality. Friendships I had with folks I was close to in high school suddenly have an awkwardness to them. It's as if I'm trying to grasp for good leveridge! Why is that? I know that lots of water has run under the bridge...which includes a spouse, kids, career, and the evolving of one's maturity.

I was able to talk to one of these long, lost friends on the phone this weekend. Talk about stammering all over myself. My mind was racing to find some common bond that had a 25 year gap in the middle. It was only after I had the chance to digest our much-belated reunion did I begin to formulate some cognitive feelings about my friend & our friendship.

In high school, well... in school period, I was not what you would call one of the kids voted most popular. If they had the category of "Butt of All Jokes", I would have won with flying colors. That's some of the blessings of growing up for 12 years in the same small town school district. So, I'm not exactly what you'd call very excited about tracing any of my old high school classmates to see where they are now. I have never been to a high school reunion nor do I have the urge to do so. I can count on one hand the number of classmates I would even want to know what has traspired in their lives. In fact, the one classmate I was best friends with early on in my grade school years seems to have faded into oblivion.

But there were a precious few (one being the friend who contacted me this week) who buck the norm. I have always said that I've had so many "fair weather friends" that I could've been a weatherman. I take friendship very seriously. I place a lot of importance to friendship. And I feel a good friendship is worth some kind of investment from both persons. It's quality over quantity...meaning that the intensity of a friendship outweigh the frequency one tries to stay in touch. At least it's that way for me. I realize that life throws up a lot of distractions & interruptions. And sometimes friendships get shelved for a few years.

This is one instance where a true friendship just got placed on a shelf for several years & has now been taken down. It just needs a little dusting & cleaning...and soon will look just as fresh & vibrant as it was 25 years ago. How many shelved friendships do you have? Is it time to bring out the featherduster? Dusting off a shelved friendship will stir things up a bit just as cleaning some dusty relics from the attic can stir up your allergies. But it's worth the awkwardness of reconnection to be able to enjoy the warmth of a good friend you haven't heard from in a long time.

I have had a warmth inside of me these last few days that I haven't had in many years just because I heard from long, lost friend. I have not been able to get this friend off my mind since hearing from him. And despite the huge gap in our relationship, suddenly I feel closer to him now than if we had been next door neighbors for these past 25 years.

I guess genuine, good friends tend to do that.

Outta Control At Four?

My oldest boy, at the tender age of 4 1/2 has already started showing signs of blatant lying...and he genuinely thinks that he is snowing me with his serious attempt at veiling the truth of the situation. There is nothing that will sober up a parent from the thought that they are in total control of their child as trying to compete with a toddler who is convinced that mommy or daddy is buying the schpeel they are feeding.

I makes me feel like I am loosing control of my children and they haven't even reached puberty yet, much less started having feelings for the opposite sex. But as I ponder this, I am also made aware that this is exactly how God feels. As a parent, I am partly responsible for bringing a new life into the world. God is primarily responsible for creating life into this world...namely, mankind. For a parent there is a nice 3 to 4 year honeymoon where everything you say is soaked up into the little developing brain of that child. Then suddently, that little brain gets a mind of its own & thinks it can pull a shiner over mommy & daddy.

We, too, think that after a few years as a new Christian, we know more than our Creator. Wonder if God feels any worse than a parent does? Each time our child lies or somehow breaks a trust that was established between us as their parent, we should be reminded that this is the same situation God finds Himself in when we act out of our own desires or persuasions instead of following His. We wash our kid's mouth out with soap or send them to their room or even execute corporal punishment when we find our child has committed some atrocity. How does God treat us when we break fellowship with Him?

He does discipline us when we err...and how do we react? Do we react the same way our children do when we reproove or correct tthem? My 4-year old cries profusely & shows great contrition and repentance when he is corrected...it' s more than obvious that he desires to have a restored fellowship with me...that he doesn't want to have this feeling of being severed from his connection to his father. Do we crave to be restored in such a way when God corrects or reprooves us?

While I may feel that my son may be out of control at the tender age of 4, I'm sure there are many times God may think I am out of control at the ripe old age of 40.

Charley

I read in my hometown newspaper recently of the passing of a man everyone knew at my home church as "Charley". Charley Rhoads was, at one time, the custodian of the church & he was meticulous in making sure every light was out & everything was in its place before locking the doors.

Charley never seemed to have a bad day.

He never greeted you without a wide smile & a loud voice that stuttered so bad, it would take him a half-hour to ask directions. You could hear Charley for blocks away when he carried on a normal conversation. Charley was mentally handicapped.

Charlie was married to his wife, also mentally handicapped, for years. She would sit with him during church worship services & would smile nervously when Charley began his loud converstaions. It was obvious that they were meant for each other.

I remember one day, as a high school student, sitting in morning worship in church after a stirring sermon. The invitation came, the organ played Just As I Am softly as the congregation held onto the pews in front of them Every head bowed - every eye closed during this reflective moment of contemplation & conviction.

Suddenly, from my left, a shrill, high-pitched wail began that instantly stopped my heart. I had never heard such a thing in all my years of attending a Southern Baptist church. I glanced over to where this intrusive noise was coming from & saw Charley...in the asile...one leg up in the air and hands raised. Smiling and shouting with unbridled jubilation. I was far too scared to realize what was happening, but by the time the worship service was over, hardly a dry eye was found in the sacturary.

The only time I ever would hear Charley speak softly or without his acute stutter was when he was either praying or singing. Then, his enunciation & volume was perfect every time.

I am certain, right now, Heaven is a far more jovial place now that Charlie's made it Home.

I Can Cingular Your Cellular From Here

I guess I have held out long enough. I have capitulated & have agreed to throw out the antiquated telephone that has been anchored down to a plug in a wall (or at leasted tethered by an invisible "cord" that has tied my handset to a small cordless base). I have finally surrendered to the world of wireless telephony.

For years, I thought the whole cellular craze was nothing more than wireless tele-phooey because what I saw was more money being paid on a device that I already was paying enough money on to begin with. Then, in order to use these things, one would have to stand on one foot, face the south-southwest, hope the breeze was blowing from the east-northeast & that all of the cosmic forces & solar waves were working in tandem so that the conversation would be heard. Oh, and of course there is the necessity of having to always say, "Can you hear me now?"

Nah. That was more trouble than it was worth.

But times have changed. Now the cost for a cellular phone is compatible to what is being paid for "land lines" and the coverage is pretty good -- depending on what "plan" you have. I can't help remembering my dearly departed pastor who I had while attending college. He would always say, "God has a plan for every man and a man for every plan." Now wouldn't that be a clever by-line for an upcoming Christian wireless telephone service? I found a "plan" that works & is affordable. And, since I am on the road a lot, my wife would really like one "in case of an emergency". Emergency? If I'm lying in a pool of my own blood from a near-fatal car wreck, do you think I'm going to call anyone to tell them not to keep supper warm?

At any rate, the rate that I got was within a good price range, and I can actually "port" my once land-line-tied residential number over to my new cellular phone. Then, we get a second phone for a few more dollars. Now, I can plan my plans around my plan....

I hope I'm not confusing you.

But, I'm not planning on having my new cell phone planted on my ear while waiting in line to get my Whopper. And I'm not going to be trying to finish my sentence before I "drop out of coverage" while navigating through downtown Pittsburgh. There may be many times I may just send your call to my voicemail if I'm talking to someone in person. No. My cell phone will not control me. I will control it. If it rings, I may answer it.

I have to watch my "anytime minutes", you know.

Resetting The Counter

When we "zero" the counter, we begin a fresh start. We loose whatever data was accumulated prior to our resetting the counter. We prepare to start a new project.

Such is my situation. Some choose to reset their counter. Others have it reset for them. Mine was more or less reset for me. I left one job which I had become ensconced for almost 18 years. I had developed ruts deep enough to lose a Humvee. I had my routine tattooed on the back of my brain. Then, after a geographic move to a new location & about a 8 month sabbatical, I took on new responsibilities with new accountability. Then, due to situations beyond my control, and before I had begun to create much of a rut, I was looking for a new job again in less than 6 months.

Then, it was the delirious task of refocusing my career goals, reassesing my talents & abilities, and reexamining my enthusiasm. When, luck would have it, an opening happened in my exact career field, I applied for it. Several weeks later, I received an email notifying me of an impending interview. More waiting...and then a phone call to schedule & confirm an interview. I had no axiety about interviewing..in fact, for me, I view these more of an adventure than I do a dirge.

Then there was a surprise... I was told of the company's health benefits & how much vacation time I would be getting. And then, the request for a second interview. I tried not to get my hopes up. That always jinxes things. So, I went to the 2nd interview with the same mental attitude as the first one. By the time I had finished my 2nd interview, I was quite sure I was seeing veiled satisfaction in the choosing of the right candidate. Yet, no mention of how much were they going to pay me...! I still held my tongue. They had said they would be sending me a "written proposal".

I have received this proposal in the mail today & it appears to be satisfactory. Now the counter gets set to zero. New responsibilites, new accountabilities, new duties, new expectations...new people. Heck, I'm going to the the new person...! I read over the duties (none of which I am incapable of doing) and NOW the anxiety tries to creep in. How long will it take for the "new" to wear off of this new position? How will my actions & my motives be "read" by my new co-workers? Are there expectations of me that I do not know about that I will discover? Ack! I have to stop thinking.

I'm just going to reset the trip counter & drive.

As You Go Into The World... Impose the Gospel?

The Great Commission, found in Matthew 28 in the New Testament, has been the stimulus for countless Believers to spread the Truth - found in Jesus Christ - about how to become intimate with our Creator/God.

The Great Commission
16 The 11 disciples traveled to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had directed them. 17 When they saw Him, they worshiped, but some doubted. 18 Then Jesus came near and said to them, "All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. 19 Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe everything I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age." [Matthew 28 - Holman CSB]

When the phrase "make disciples" is used, it means literally "instruct" or "and disciple" all nations. I've never read where it means to make someone into a disciple. Yet, some over-enterprising Christians are flying over to Indonesia & surrounding areas with the indication of helping the tsunami relief efforts. But are clandestine, instead, by taking advantage of this tragedy by using this event as an "opportunity" to also proselytize the locals into converting to Christianity. FoxNews reported over the weekend that now the governments in the Indonesian nations are now ready to send the Christians back home because they don't want their "help".

Can you blame them?

The Gospel of Jesus Christ is an imposition in and of itself... Why make it even more imposing by inconsideratly dumping the Gospel upon a people who - right now need to have clean clothes, food, a house...? Right now, they don't need to hear about Jesus...they need to see Jesus.

I'm all for telling folks about the greatest event of my life: The day I chose to receive the greatest Gift from God...the Gift of Eternal Life... offered by believing in His Son, Jesus. How I want to shout it from every mountaintop. But, as my late father would always say, "Your freedom stops at the end of your nose." How sad that some Believers feel they need to stick their noses into another person's faith without first earning the right to do this by first meeting a basic need.

When will we learn to stop trying to usurp the job of the Holy Spirit & just do what is right in front of our eyes? We are the paintbrush. We are the charcoal pencil. We are the surgical tool. We are not the Artist, or Master Surgeon. I think many times, God is merely wanting a skin graft & we make an incision...because we "know" what the Surgeon really wants. Do we?

7 Although we could have been a burden as Christ’s apostles,
instead we were gentle (infants) among you, as a nursing mother nurtures her own children. 8 We cared so much for you that we were pleased to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives, because you had become dear to us. [1 Thes. 2 - Holman CSB]

How much more effective & enriched we would be if we would just consider first sharing our lives with those who do not know Him? Maybe then, we may be more effective in getting the Good News across to those who really want to know more of Him.

"Meeting" Jesus

Recently, I was asked by a person who visited my website about a term that I normally take for granted and which I had included in my website. They indicated they were impressed about how I had "met Jesus in 1976" and wanted to know more about how I did that.

So I got to thinking, "How does one actually 'meet Jesus'?" Do you meet Him walking down Broadway? Do you meet Him sitting in the loo? Do you bump into Him in crowded airport terminal? I guess the term, "met Jesus" is a cliche of sorts. When I see - or use - this reference, I define it more as a personal relationship with God...through Jesus. When I was a mere 13, I knew I needed to make a knowledgeable decision that I cannot control my own destiny...that I may be able to have some hand in my physical life - my career, my "soul mate", my goals, etc. But I have no control over what happens to me after I die. And that only God, my Creator, held the balance of eternity...but it was me who had to choose to allow God to take control of my eternal destiny.

If I continued doing things my own way..to include eternity... I knew I would fail. I would be trying to control an aspect that was out of my control. So, I chose to place my eternal destiny into the control of the Lord. And from what I believe in the Bible, the only Person able to bridge the gap was Jesus. So, I prayed to Him & asked Him to be my Source - my Lord, my Saviour - in my life. I asked Him to be my "go-between" with God to restore a right relationship with my Creator,

Now, let me say that this was not based on an emotional feel. It was based on what I read from the Bible and believed as a fact. It was all based on my response to what was written in the Bible & upon my response to Who I chose to believe God was. There are times that I do not feel I have ever "met Jesus", and must rely upon the fact that God did as He promised He would do if anyone would follow His Son.

Catastrophic events like the Asian tsunami really shake a person's faith. But, we must remember that God set the creation in motion based on laws He established. Then man comes along & messes with creation & throws things off balance. God, I believe, does not cause things like this tsunami ...and I feel it grieves His heart to see tragedies like this. But since He lives in the hearts of those who have chosen to follow Him (by "meeting Jesus"), He is able to be present at the scene of disaster through those who respond to aid, rescue, and comfort. It is an opportunity for God's Love to be the "tsunami" of Grace to those in need.

I believe that too many people put too much faith in the "feeling" or the event itself of meeting Jesus. I think it's more about what one is willing to believe as "fact" and what their response to this fact will be. I know the Bible says that God even helps his Children love Him...when they are unable to do so by themselves. Don't ask me how that happens, but I have to believe, by faith, that it does!

So, how did you "meet Jesus"? It's quite possible that you may have already met Him and don't recogize it. Just like those who met Him on the road to Emmaus:

The Emmaus Disciples
13 Now that same day two of them were on their way to a village called Emmaus, which was about seven miles from Jerusalem. 14 Together they were discussing everything that had taken place. 15 And while they were discussing and arguing, Jesus Himself came near and began to walk along with them. 16 But they were prevented from recognizing Him. 17 Then He asked them, “What is this dispute that you’re having as you are walking?” And they stopped [walking and looked]* discouraged.
18 The one named Cleopas answered Him, “Are You the only visitor in Jerusalem who doesn’t know the things that happened there in these days?”
19 “What things?” He asked them.
So they said to Him, “The things concerning Jesus the Nazarene, who was a Prophet powerful in action and speech before God and all the people, 20 and how our chief priests and leaders handed Him over to be sentenced to death, and they crucified Him. 21 But we were hoping that He was the One who was about to redeem Israel. Besides all this, it’s the third day since these things happened. 22 Moreover, some women from our group astounded us. They arrived early at the tomb, 23 and when they didn’t find His body, they came and reported that they had seen a vision of angels who said He was alive. 24 Some of those who were with us went to the tomb and found it just as the women had said, but they didn’t see Him.”
25 He said to them, “How unwise and slow you are to believe in your hearts all that the prophets have spoken! 26 Didn’t the Messiah have to suffer these things and enter into His glory?” 27 Then beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, He interpreted for them the things concerning Himself in all the Scriptures.
28 They came near the village where they were going, and He gave the impression that He was going farther. 29 But they urged Him: “Stay with us, because it’s almost evening, and now the day is almost over.” So He went in to stay with them.
30 It was as He reclined at the table with them that He took the bread, blessed and broke it, and gave it to them. 31 Then their eyes were opened, and they recognized Him, but He disappeared from their sight. 32 So they said to each other, “Weren’t our hearts ablaze within us while He was talking with us on the road and explaining the Scriptures to us?” 33 That very hour they got up and returned to Jerusalem. They found the Eleven and those with them gathered together, 34 who said, “The Lord has certainly been raised, and has appeared to Simon!” 35 Then they began to describe what had happened on the road and how He was made known to them in the breaking of the bread. (Luke 24 - The Holman Christian Standard Bible)

As you walk down your own "Emmaus Road", take time to listen.