To Reconcile or Not To Reconcile?

I have some challenges dealing with people who I've been "at odds" with. I am a person who will take on a disagreement head-on. And if I've done something to offend a person, I try to make it right & then move on. However, I have a lot of trouble with those who can't move on with me.

It bothers me when, after I've made a good faith attempt to make amends with another and then that person suddenly has changed their approach to me. Yes, I do realize there must be some time to recover or to earn back any trust issues that may have been lost. But to pull back & give a "stand-offish" treatment to me will not help improve the relationship.

I deal with issues like this first by bucking the treatment & trying to carry on as normal. I do this because I want the person to understand that I've taken responsibility for any action I was guilty of and I'm trying to re-establish our prior relaionship before the offense occurred. If that person fails to respond to my good-faith attempts at reconciliation, I surmise that the effort is a moot cause & resolve that this is merely a one-sided reconciliation attempt.

Depending on how much I feel there is left to salvage in situations like this, I may directly approach the person & "clue them in" on just what is going on. I have no trouble calling things out into the open & resolving the problem. But I see no sense in doing it if the other person refuses to cooperate.

What I can't seem to understand, I guess, is why -- after an individual has expressed the desire to not only seek forgiveness but also reconciliation -- that the other person just shuts down...giving only "lip service" to the friendship/relationship? If the shoe were on the other foot, I would be at least a little bit encouraged that the person was eagerly trying to restore a broken trust. I would think it would be like rubbing salt into a wound for me to draw away from such an attempt, even if I were the one who was offended.

I guess this is one of the great mysteries of humankind. I can only wish that everyone would be so willing to be transparent with one another. I believe this would go a long way at acheiving better relations with each other ...and maybe even between cultures & nations.