Well, I've been at my new home now for about a year and a half. After spending half my time with a yard full of rocks and mud, I have some grass (operative word being "some") to show off. Most of the boxes are unpacked and the ones that aren't are still downstairs in the still unfinished basement where I will one day have a room to myself...my "office"...a place where I can retreat & separate myself from the duties of adulthood.
I've been married almost 8 years and have been living on my own for about 20. It's not been an easy 20 years, but I know it has been blessed. I've seen how my zealous dogmatism of my days in college has been tempered by the lifestyle of rural northwest Pennsylvania. I now dream of making this newly built home a final stop before my next move: Into a pine box.
Yes, I am crazy enough to think that this will be the place where I will spend the rest of my life. Is that so crazy when you stop to think about it?
I have a job that, so far, appears to be good. It's not the job I moved my family here for, and it is one I must drive for 45 minutes to & from work. But it is a good job in a field I know & enjoy, and it is with a company that has, so far, been encouraging and fair. My wife appears to have now found a job that will offer far less stress - and far less pay - and more time to be flexable to spend with the rest of the family.
I'm not rich by any stretch of the imagination. I like to say that I'm just more in debt than most. But that's not true, either, because my wife has a good handle on the finances....far beyond what I would ever be able to do.
I have two boys with which one has my temperment and the other, my personality. One lookes like me, the other looks like my wife. They are 18 months apart in age - perfect to either be bitter enemies or co-horts in plotting against the parents.
There is nothing stellar about me, my job, my family, or my situation in life. And I think this is typical of most people. We keep thinking there will be something extraordinary that will occur in our lives that will transform us into a new paradigm shift. I think that is the exception, rather than the norm. Instead, I prefer to bloom where I'm planted.
I have grown tired trying to manipulate people into what I think they should be and have instead accepted them for what they already are. I look for opportunities to share a little about me and about what I believe out of a genuine love for the person and a willingness to be genuine with my friendship. Not out of a desire to angle someone into a corral to try to harness them into conformity.
I may not agree with their style, their beliefs, their political persuasion, or their philosophy. But I try to meet them where they are. And if I am able to share with them a bit of who I am and why I believe the way I do, that is great. And should they desire to know more about me and why I believe the way I do, that's awesome. My highest form of ecstacy is when another chooses to follow what I believe. And that decision is based on their genuine choice, not my crafty manimpulation.
Yes, I'm settling in to not just my newly built home, but my new neighbors, my new church, my new job, and my new surroundings. After a few awkward adjustments, and a little "breaking in", it appears things are starting to feel a bit more comfortable.
