Not everyone has heard of this phrase. For me however, it was a way of life during my years as a grade schooler & even on into high school. My favorite saying is that I've had so many "fair weather" friends, I should've been a weatherman. Typically, the "fair weather" friend is that friend supports you & sticks by you only during "fair weather". If life or your friendship gets the least bit "stormy"....your friend will be nowhere to be found.
I've had more than my share of "fair weather" friends. In fact, I graduated with about 80 of them in my senior class...out of a total of 81. It's no wonder why I have little desire to go to any high school reunions at my Alma Mater, Booneville HIgh School. This had its start as far back as 1st Grade. Mrs. Rogers' class. By the end of the school year, when somone needed a scapegoat, a butt-end to a practical joke, or someone to dominate, they came a-callin'.
This went on for what seemed like indefinately until my senior year. Oh, there was one bright spot: When I was pulled from Journalism class one day by a classmate for a photo. I remember the day... the classmate was carrying the camera as we walked down the hall. I finally asked why I was going along. I was honestly expecting some prank to be pulled at my expense & have it photographed. Instead, I was told that I was getting my photo taken with another classmate because we had both been voted as "Most Civic Minded" by the Senior class.
You mean I was voted for something ...?
I would've been happy with being voted "Most dorky" just so I could say that I was voted on at all. But to be voted on for something as "mature" as Most Civic Minded was indeed a shock. Could they not find anyone else to fill the category? Was I just picked because no one else wanted it? Well, whatever the reason, I was photographed & published in the yearbook... And the rest is history.
Having the first 12 years of my life blemished by "fair weather" friends, I became naturally gun shy of anyone who appeared to be patronizing me or displayed the slightest hint of insincerety. Granted, a lot of my suspicion toward friendship was abolished by many friends I met while in college at Arkansas State University. It was there that I really was able to have friends that showed me genuineness & acceptance based on who I was.
One, in particular, was Greg. He was a year ahead of me but he became my prayer partner in the Baptist Student Union. I have never let him slip from my radar. We have gone long periods where we have not communicated with each other, but that's what happens in life sometimes. Greg was a groomsman in my wedding. And I have never stopped thinking about or praying for Greg.
as a person who desires genuine friendship, I also have the tendency to give out genuine friendship. It is so against my nature to be two-faced to someone. What you see is what you get....or as the computer geeks put it, "WYSIWYG". This is why I am like a sponge to water when someone shows me the same amount of transparency about themselves as I try to do with others.
The last think I want to be to someone is a "fair weather" friend. I avoid giving this perception to others at all costs. And if I feel like I have been a "fair weather" friend to someone, I almost instantly try to alter my behavior to correct myself.
Moving into a new area has been my biggest challenge because I have to start all over again at meeting & making new friends. I feel at times I wish I could just add years of history to all the new friends I've met just so I can have the depth that comes from a long-term friendship. And these new friends have begun to develop a "history" with me which has led to establishing a bond that I long for.
There are times I wish there would be a person like me who would come up to me & treat me the same way I like to engage others. Initiate a conversation by placing their hand on my shoulder...giving hugs...asking questions that go deeper than the weather or how my job is going. I know, however, that no one can be exactly like I am... And I can find contentment in just their willingness to accept me & to receive the love, admiration, fondness, and respect I want to show them.
The 25th Anniversary of my graduating class came & went last year. It wasn't even a blip on my radar screen. However, I can say that a few of my graduating class has become a little less of a "fair weather" friend as I have made the initiative to reach out to them. One was last year when my classmate, Allan, lost his father. I read about it in my local hometown newspaper (that I still get). I made a intentional point of looking up his name online & calling him....sending flowers to the memorial service. We talked for about 30 minutes on the phone & he still asked if I was in radio. Just the fact that he even remembered what career I was in is a big deal.
It's such a shame that some must put on a costume to be able to relate to another person. It's so much effort to not be who your are...it's confusing as to why exert that much energy on trying to snow someone. Being yourself is so easy. At least it is for me because after living 12 years of my life at the expense of others' jeers & cruel comments, my skin has toughened up to the point that I don't really give a whit about what another's impression of me would be. I treat others with no assumptions or expectations...either on their part or mine.
Oddly enough, one friend who I had throughout grade school who (even to this day) has become a "fair weather" friend, wrote a quote in my senior high school yearbook when he signed his name. That quote has become my mantra...even though this friend did not follow it as far as our friendship was concerned:
"Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me; I may not lead..
Just walk beside me; And be my friend."
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