Well it's been a bit since I've sat down & put my thoughts on here. What happened since July? Geezh! Anyway, to catch things up: Letssee... The job...well, it's still there. No raise yet. But things are picking up. But I'm afraid there's gonna come a time where the boss is going to be given an ultimatum. I know they love the work I do, but I can't continue working at a place where I'm loosing money. We'll see.
We went to Disney World in Sept. The whole family...and the Mother-in-Law, too. It was my 2nd time but it was more fun watching my kids enjoy the "Happiest Place on Earth". And I'm absolutely just loving my church. I've not had a church family this awesome since my days in Jonesboro, AR while attending Arkansas State University as a member of Central Baptist. I have never felt more loved, accepted, & taught so well than at Big Woods Bible Church in Lock Haven, PA!
I went on my annual 2,874 mile trek to attend my family reunion over the Thanksgiving week, too. And I had the utmost pleasure of stayinig with 4 of my friends in the road there. It really re-impressed upon me how blessed I am to have such awesome friends as Geoff, Chuck, Lee, & Shawn (& all thier familes) who opened their homes to me & my 2 little "wild Indians" (yeah, I said, "Indians", so sue me, NCAA). And I was able to see my Aunt (my late Mom's sister) who was also able to see all my kids, my sister & her family...all at the same time. A real "once in a lifetime" happening. Plus, I lavishly ate all that greasy, Southern food cooked by my various cousins!
I guess since July, I've been most affected by a video that a friend sent me several weeks ago. I've shared this video with some in my church, many of my friends, & others who'll let me. I'm not one to spend a lot of time seriously speculating on future events. I mean, it's fun to just hear the variety of theories about the end times (and no, I've not seen nor read any of the Left Behind series) but I'm pretty skeptical about a lot of what folks have been saying.
Until I saw this video.
Now, I'm no prophecy expert, but I have to admit that this is pretty amazing stuff. The notes and the charts that go along with this video are equally stunning.
I am not one to patently say that over this past November election we elected "The Antichrist" but I will say that I am seeing more signs of Biblical proportion that confirm in my spirit the fact that there is a very real possibility I could see the 2nd coming of Christ in my lifetime.
It's an anxious time...but for me it's an exciting time as well.
12.04.2008
7.12.2008
Bachelor again, sort of...
I've enjoyed a week of solitude & sobriety as my whole family was in NC seeing grandma...and I was left to hold down the fort. I ran around in my boxers, flushed the toilet only once, and ate directly out of the cereal box.
And I also paused by the doors of the 2 bedrooms where my 2 boys would normally be sleeping at night.
I also got into a king-sized bed that would normally be "pre-warmed" by my wife.
Yes, I enjoy returning to the bachelor life occasionally. But I would never want to go back to it permanently.
I read today that a dear friend of mine has experienced the tragedy of watching his infant grandson--just days old & suffering from heart & lung complications--pass away. Granted, there has been a huge void in the house with the absence of children's voices but I cannot fathom what my life would be like if it were like that permanently.
I recently read an email article from AllProDad.com about recognizing the miracle. It read:
And I also paused by the doors of the 2 bedrooms where my 2 boys would normally be sleeping at night.
I also got into a king-sized bed that would normally be "pre-warmed" by my wife.
Yes, I enjoy returning to the bachelor life occasionally. But I would never want to go back to it permanently.
I read today that a dear friend of mine has experienced the tragedy of watching his infant grandson--just days old & suffering from heart & lung complications--pass away. Granted, there has been a huge void in the house with the absence of children's voices but I cannot fathom what my life would be like if it were like that permanently.
I recently read an email article from AllProDad.com about recognizing the miracle. It read:
Have your kids been getting on your nerves lately? Sometimes it’s helpful to step back and realize what a miracle they truly are. Once they were smaller than the period at the end of this sentence. Now they’re on a one-way locomotive towards adulthood and I only have a few precious years left with them. The time is short – too short to always be annoyed with their antics. Recognize one of the greatest miracles is who you tuck into bed every night.My 2 boys know all too well the buttons they can push to get a rise out of me or my wife. And they do it with glee. But there's never a time I don't stop & think how blessed I've been from God that they are healthy & happy. And I've never stopped being utterly amazed at how precious life itself can be.
6.26.2008
Bullheaded Leslie
My mom used that term a lot. My dad was one, his dad was one, & my dad's dad was one. All that bullheadedness got passed on to me. And I wear that mantel proudly. I gladly passed on those bullheaded genes to my 2 sons, too. And I want them to use it.
There's advantages to being bullheaded. For me, I never had to worry about peer pressure. I just wasn't going to go along with the crowd if I didn't want to. No one ever succeeded in getting past my bullheadedness to entice me to try drugs or sample alcohol. When I did eventually sample some wine coolers, I did it on my terms & kept my consumption regulated the way I wanted it. I never had a desire to move past wine (never had developed a taste for malt beverages) into hard liquor. And the only drug I ever take is either Sudafed or Chlor-Trimeton.
I'm bullheaded when it comes to what my faith is, too. I don't dislike other faiths nor do I think they are wrong. They are wrong for me, but maybe not for someone else. I also recognize that outside my own Southern Baptist faith, there are also people of other faiths who are wonderful, loving people. And I am proud - if not even cherishing - these folks who are in my life.
My brother-in-law is a practicing Catholic. I have as much in common with the Catholic faith as I would with chemical engineer. I find a smidgen of similarity between how I relate to God or how I interpret Scripture & how Catholics do. But I do not disparage nor look down on my brother-in-law for his beliefs, irregardless of how irrelevant they are to me.
While my family are members of a Southern Baptist church, my wife works for a United Church of Christ (UCC) church as their musician/choir director. I've been asked to teach SundaySchool there, be an usher there, & have been served Communion there. All of which I have graciously refused. Not because I want to be anti-social, but because I am bullheaded to the point that I am not a member there & I do not align my faith with theirs. I'm not trying to be unfriendly but consistent to my own church & faith.
Now here recently, we've sailed into some turbulent waters with the spiking economy, job uncertaincies, & the task of bringing up a family in the middle of it. My family have been scrapping & saving for over 36 months to pay for a once-in-a-lifetime trip to Walt Disney World (mainly for the sake of the boys). But since our committment to this began 2 1/2 years ago, our financial outlook has changed with the slumping economy & our stagnant paychecks. We've struggled as to what to do, all while looking longingly at that nest egg we've dubbed "the Disney money".
And throughout all of this, there have been some precious souls in the UCC church who have made "contributions" to the boys to help them "save for Disney" by giving them a couple of bucks here & there...sometimes slipping a $20 in a birthday card...or dropping a $50 into my wife's purse when she wasn't looking. But when things got a little uncertain at my job with the whole insurance issue & late paychecks, we obviously began asking for prayer.
That's when we started getting anonymous envelopes with $150 and the like. In fact, one elderly lady in the choir at the UCC church choir wanted my wife to assure her that the boys would, indeed, be given their promise of going to Disney World this year. And to help fulfill that promise, she would plop down $500 to pay for the gas to get there. I've been given cash, tucked inside a handshake, by some in the men's fellowship at the church where my family are members. All of this kind of runs against my bullheadedness.
See, I feel like I owe something to these who have been so generous. Especially to the ones at the UCC church. Yet I cannot allow my feelings override my reason. I don't go to a church because there are people there who feel led to help us along -- financially or otherwise. However, juxtapositioned to this fact, I can say I have as much love & respect for those in the UCC church as I would someone in the church where my membership resides. It's a fine line to have to walk, & heaven forbid it would cause offense. But I have to look beyond a faith made up of feelings & follow a faith made up of facts.
The fact is, while there are loads of beautiful souls that attend the UCC church, my loyalty does not reside there. My convictions do not mirror theirs. My faith is not practiced in the same way that their faith is practiced. But I would drop everything to help them if they needed it. At the same time, there are precious souls who are in "my church" who invest their time & their love by pouring themselves into the lives in my family.
Being bullheaded is not a bad thing...necessarily. It's actually the rudder in a sea of uncertainty.
There's advantages to being bullheaded. For me, I never had to worry about peer pressure. I just wasn't going to go along with the crowd if I didn't want to. No one ever succeeded in getting past my bullheadedness to entice me to try drugs or sample alcohol. When I did eventually sample some wine coolers, I did it on my terms & kept my consumption regulated the way I wanted it. I never had a desire to move past wine (never had developed a taste for malt beverages) into hard liquor. And the only drug I ever take is either Sudafed or Chlor-Trimeton.
I'm bullheaded when it comes to what my faith is, too. I don't dislike other faiths nor do I think they are wrong. They are wrong for me, but maybe not for someone else. I also recognize that outside my own Southern Baptist faith, there are also people of other faiths who are wonderful, loving people. And I am proud - if not even cherishing - these folks who are in my life.
My brother-in-law is a practicing Catholic. I have as much in common with the Catholic faith as I would with chemical engineer. I find a smidgen of similarity between how I relate to God or how I interpret Scripture & how Catholics do. But I do not disparage nor look down on my brother-in-law for his beliefs, irregardless of how irrelevant they are to me.
While my family are members of a Southern Baptist church, my wife works for a United Church of Christ (UCC) church as their musician/choir director. I've been asked to teach SundaySchool there, be an usher there, & have been served Communion there. All of which I have graciously refused. Not because I want to be anti-social, but because I am bullheaded to the point that I am not a member there & I do not align my faith with theirs. I'm not trying to be unfriendly but consistent to my own church & faith.
Now here recently, we've sailed into some turbulent waters with the spiking economy, job uncertaincies, & the task of bringing up a family in the middle of it. My family have been scrapping & saving for over 36 months to pay for a once-in-a-lifetime trip to Walt Disney World (mainly for the sake of the boys). But since our committment to this began 2 1/2 years ago, our financial outlook has changed with the slumping economy & our stagnant paychecks. We've struggled as to what to do, all while looking longingly at that nest egg we've dubbed "the Disney money".
And throughout all of this, there have been some precious souls in the UCC church who have made "contributions" to the boys to help them "save for Disney" by giving them a couple of bucks here & there...sometimes slipping a $20 in a birthday card...or dropping a $50 into my wife's purse when she wasn't looking. But when things got a little uncertain at my job with the whole insurance issue & late paychecks, we obviously began asking for prayer.
That's when we started getting anonymous envelopes with $150 and the like. In fact, one elderly lady in the choir at the UCC church choir wanted my wife to assure her that the boys would, indeed, be given their promise of going to Disney World this year. And to help fulfill that promise, she would plop down $500 to pay for the gas to get there. I've been given cash, tucked inside a handshake, by some in the men's fellowship at the church where my family are members. All of this kind of runs against my bullheadedness.
See, I feel like I owe something to these who have been so generous. Especially to the ones at the UCC church. Yet I cannot allow my feelings override my reason. I don't go to a church because there are people there who feel led to help us along -- financially or otherwise. However, juxtapositioned to this fact, I can say I have as much love & respect for those in the UCC church as I would someone in the church where my membership resides. It's a fine line to have to walk, & heaven forbid it would cause offense. But I have to look beyond a faith made up of feelings & follow a faith made up of facts.
The fact is, while there are loads of beautiful souls that attend the UCC church, my loyalty does not reside there. My convictions do not mirror theirs. My faith is not practiced in the same way that their faith is practiced. But I would drop everything to help them if they needed it. At the same time, there are precious souls who are in "my church" who invest their time & their love by pouring themselves into the lives in my family.
Being bullheaded is not a bad thing...necessarily. It's actually the rudder in a sea of uncertainty.
6.21.2008
5th Grade Games
I had quite the interesting casual chat with the man who owns the radio station where I'm employed. He's like talking to your grandpa who has a wealth of knowledge about everything in general, but not much on specifics. Basically, it's like trying to keep your eye on the ball of an aggressive game of handball.
The change of topics came as frequently as I took in each breath but one stuck in my craw. He asked if everything was okay with the company's insurance coverage. See, his wife (who actually holds the purse strings to the radio station) let it be known at a recent sales meeting that she intended to drop health coverage because of low sales & the tepid income the station was getting. Plus, she threatened to flip all of the 3 stations to a satellite music format & cut everyone's salary by 10%...and possibly include some lay-offs. Well, word of this certainly started spreading like wildfire to every staff member.
The next day, everyone got a form to sign with 3 options on the future of health care coverage. We could choose to have "no coverage" (and find our own health care plan), have a "conversion" (where we would keep our current plan, but we would deal with the insurance company directly instead of through our group plan...simlar to a COBRA), or "continue" with the group plan but have our premium deducted from our paycheck (to the tune of $166 per pay for me).
All but 2 chose "no coverage". The other 2 chose to continue the group plan with paycheck deductions for the cost of the premium. But there was one problem: The group plan would not be availible unless everyone continued. So, this presented a problem for the 2 staff members as well as for the station's owners.
This was what prompted my boss to ask for my feedback on the company's insurance situation. What he said next was the "kicker". When I told him we could not afford to have the premiums deducted from my paycheck, he told me I shouldn't "worry about the health care. We were just trying to get sales back up".
Huh?
So, you're playing little 5th Grade schoolyard games with my benefits, using it as a "bully stick" to wave at the sales staff? Where do some of these "bozos" get their management training? From a Cracker Jack box?
Needless to say, this did not convince me to change my mind on dropping the company's group plan. And it almost guaranteed that some staff members would be soon choosing another company to work for. And some have already been offered positions at a new job.
It would seem so simple to know how to properly manage, empower, & motivate a company's staff. A Dale Carnagie course, an Earl Nightingale book, a Dan O'Day seminar.... But instead, some choose the more childish route & think that this will inspire their employees to do better. What they end up with, however, is one very large hole in thier foot.
The change of topics came as frequently as I took in each breath but one stuck in my craw. He asked if everything was okay with the company's insurance coverage. See, his wife (who actually holds the purse strings to the radio station) let it be known at a recent sales meeting that she intended to drop health coverage because of low sales & the tepid income the station was getting. Plus, she threatened to flip all of the 3 stations to a satellite music format & cut everyone's salary by 10%...and possibly include some lay-offs. Well, word of this certainly started spreading like wildfire to every staff member.
The next day, everyone got a form to sign with 3 options on the future of health care coverage. We could choose to have "no coverage" (and find our own health care plan), have a "conversion" (where we would keep our current plan, but we would deal with the insurance company directly instead of through our group plan...simlar to a COBRA), or "continue" with the group plan but have our premium deducted from our paycheck (to the tune of $166 per pay for me).
All but 2 chose "no coverage". The other 2 chose to continue the group plan with paycheck deductions for the cost of the premium. But there was one problem: The group plan would not be availible unless everyone continued. So, this presented a problem for the 2 staff members as well as for the station's owners.
This was what prompted my boss to ask for my feedback on the company's insurance situation. What he said next was the "kicker". When I told him we could not afford to have the premiums deducted from my paycheck, he told me I shouldn't "worry about the health care. We were just trying to get sales back up".
Huh?
So, you're playing little 5th Grade schoolyard games with my benefits, using it as a "bully stick" to wave at the sales staff? Where do some of these "bozos" get their management training? From a Cracker Jack box?
Needless to say, this did not convince me to change my mind on dropping the company's group plan. And it almost guaranteed that some staff members would be soon choosing another company to work for. And some have already been offered positions at a new job.
It would seem so simple to know how to properly manage, empower, & motivate a company's staff. A Dale Carnagie course, an Earl Nightingale book, a Dan O'Day seminar.... But instead, some choose the more childish route & think that this will inspire their employees to do better. What they end up with, however, is one very large hole in thier foot.
6.14.2008
Report Cards
As a kid, I had such anxiety when report card day approached. It gave me twinges in my gut because I always had a feeling something would be terribly wrong. Usually, for me, it was in the "deportment" category... And when I'd get that card & find the teacher had written a "D" or an "F" in something, I knew that meant more grief when Mom & Dad saw it.
As a parent, I still get a bit twingy when report cards are sent home with my 2 sons. Except this time I don't have the anxiety... Instead, I get all weepy-eyed. When I see the progress they make & then read the comments from the teacher, it's hard to keep the lump down in my throat.
And especially as I go over each grade individually with each son, I have to put forth a lot of effort to keep my voice from cracking as I explain to them what the "adult terms" on their 2-3 page report card mean. Especially when they are given exceptional marks for things like "Exhibits Kindness" or "Looks out for others' needs".
There are areas where my boys need improvement (like their dad did), such as in "Handwriting", "Math", or in "Follows directions". But what really makes me swell up with joy overflowing is when they get the top grade for areas like politeness, generosity, sportsmanship, sharing, seeks the best in others, grateful attitude, truthfullness, respcts others, & the like. You may not be the best speller, but if you are respected by others & treat others with respect, that is what matters.
The longest-serving host of Meet The Press, the longest-running news program in the history of television, Tim Russert, died yesterday (2 days before Fathers Day). As I watched all of the news coverage of this man's legacy as a broadcaster, a father, & an individual, my oldest son was questioning what was happening. Again, fighting back emotions as I thought of his report card he got in the mail yesterday, I explained that this man had a reputation that was good -- honest, admirable, envied, and respected. And this is how everyone felt about him because of not how smart he was (even though he did have a law degree), but because of the way he treated others.
To not just know all the answers but to know good character. That is the essence of the report card that life hands you.
As a parent, I still get a bit twingy when report cards are sent home with my 2 sons. Except this time I don't have the anxiety... Instead, I get all weepy-eyed. When I see the progress they make & then read the comments from the teacher, it's hard to keep the lump down in my throat.
And especially as I go over each grade individually with each son, I have to put forth a lot of effort to keep my voice from cracking as I explain to them what the "adult terms" on their 2-3 page report card mean. Especially when they are given exceptional marks for things like "Exhibits Kindness" or "Looks out for others' needs".
There are areas where my boys need improvement (like their dad did), such as in "Handwriting", "Math", or in "Follows directions". But what really makes me swell up with joy overflowing is when they get the top grade for areas like politeness, generosity, sportsmanship, sharing, seeks the best in others, grateful attitude, truthfullness, respcts others, & the like. You may not be the best speller, but if you are respected by others & treat others with respect, that is what matters.
The longest-serving host of Meet The Press, the longest-running news program in the history of television, Tim Russert, died yesterday (2 days before Fathers Day). As I watched all of the news coverage of this man's legacy as a broadcaster, a father, & an individual, my oldest son was questioning what was happening. Again, fighting back emotions as I thought of his report card he got in the mail yesterday, I explained that this man had a reputation that was good -- honest, admirable, envied, and respected. And this is how everyone felt about him because of not how smart he was (even though he did have a law degree), but because of the way he treated others.
To not just know all the answers but to know good character. That is the essence of the report card that life hands you.
6.08.2008
In Good Company
Since becoming involved in my new church, this has helped to bring some distraction to what is going on around me. I've been asked to more or less be the web administrator for the church's website & I've also started helping edit & compile a weekly prayer list that is emailed to members. But I've also seen how the people there have taken an active interest in my life & the concerns of my family. They have all reached out in some way or another. Just this past Saturday, at the church's monthly Men's Breakfast - as I greeted one of the guys - I felt crumpled paper pressed inside my palm as I shook the guy's hand. He had passed on a $20 bill saying how he felt led to bless us with some financial support.
Now I've been given money by concerned friends before, so this didn't really shake me up. I was certainly more than grateful for the surprise. What really made an impact was when he went on to say (as his voice quivered with emotion) how when he considered the distance I live from the church (27 miles) & our current situation (with our increasing expenses & static income) how much it blessed him to see me at events like the men's breakfast -- even while I faced the trials that has been going on recently in my life.
I'm an encourager by nature. I can never grow tired of encouraging another person in matters of the spiritual or emotional or whatever. So when I saw the impact of how my presence encouraged this fellow Believer, that was what really caused the twinge in my gut as he went on to share a little of his life story how God brought him through a tight financial situation he & his family faced.
But others have, too, freely given their encouragement to me as I wade through the slime of uncertainty. I've gotten dozens of emails, messages on my Facebook page, & other comments that have given me a good reminder that God still has things under control.
Picking up the boys, after their last day of school, from another parent's home (who volunteered to keep our kids until I got off work to save us from having to pay for daycare), I told the mom (who is a very vocal & passionate Assembly of God Believer) about our current situation as we followed the kids (hers & mine) across an open field so that they could have a quick float down Spring Creek before I took my boys home. Suddenly about half-way across this football field-sized meadow (surrounded by houses), she thrusts out her arm & grabs my shoulder & says, "Let's just pray right now!" So, as we walked along, she began praying loud enough for not only God but all of the neighbors to hear.
Feeling about as anxious as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs, I just walked along & tried to look spiritual.
God love her. I know she really means well. And it did bless me that she felt so spontaneous. I guess sometimes, God chooses to shine upon us even if it does look conspicuous.
It's so good to know I'm in such good company.
Now I've been given money by concerned friends before, so this didn't really shake me up. I was certainly more than grateful for the surprise. What really made an impact was when he went on to say (as his voice quivered with emotion) how when he considered the distance I live from the church (27 miles) & our current situation (with our increasing expenses & static income) how much it blessed him to see me at events like the men's breakfast -- even while I faced the trials that has been going on recently in my life.
I'm an encourager by nature. I can never grow tired of encouraging another person in matters of the spiritual or emotional or whatever. So when I saw the impact of how my presence encouraged this fellow Believer, that was what really caused the twinge in my gut as he went on to share a little of his life story how God brought him through a tight financial situation he & his family faced.
But others have, too, freely given their encouragement to me as I wade through the slime of uncertainty. I've gotten dozens of emails, messages on my Facebook page, & other comments that have given me a good reminder that God still has things under control.
Picking up the boys, after their last day of school, from another parent's home (who volunteered to keep our kids until I got off work to save us from having to pay for daycare), I told the mom (who is a very vocal & passionate Assembly of God Believer) about our current situation as we followed the kids (hers & mine) across an open field so that they could have a quick float down Spring Creek before I took my boys home. Suddenly about half-way across this football field-sized meadow (surrounded by houses), she thrusts out her arm & grabs my shoulder & says, "Let's just pray right now!" So, as we walked along, she began praying loud enough for not only God but all of the neighbors to hear.
Feeling about as anxious as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs, I just walked along & tried to look spiritual.
God love her. I know she really means well. And it did bless me that she felt so spontaneous. I guess sometimes, God chooses to shine upon us even if it does look conspicuous.
It's so good to know I'm in such good company.
6.03.2008
Irresponsibility
I drove to work today not knowing if I would find my paycheck that was supposed to have been in my box before I left from work yesterday - payday. All I could think of was the words echoed from my Personnel professor in college that said if I was in a position of paying employees at a company I own, I should not expect a "thank you" from them when they get paid. They worked for me for 2 weeks (or more) without pay & they deserve getting their payroll check. AND, if for some reason, I could not meet my payroll, I should be responsible & first TELL my employees what was going on, then promise to compensate them for using their rightfully earned money for each day the checks were late. That meant paying compounded interest on their paychecks for each day I could not provide compensation.
Not so at my job.
Not only did I not get my paycheck by the time promised by my employer, but I got NOT ONE WORD as to what the status was about my pay, WHY it was that I was not going to get my pay, and WHEN I could expect to eventually get it.
I actually deliberated whether or not to even bother to get out of bed this morning at 3:30am. I have never given my employers anything to worry about when it comes to wondering if they will have anyone to show up to do a radio show. And I am not going to wonder if I will get paid on time or not. Therefore, why should I continue to give my employer such peace of mind? I sure don't have it.
I think this bitter pill would be easier to swallow if - at the very least - my employer would bite the bullet & approach me honestly & authentically to tell me the facts: That it is going to be a stretch at trying to meet payroll...and would I please bear with them. You would be amazed at the how far a little transparency goes with me.
What they have done, instead (by their silence & irresponsibility) is create an environment of bitterness, distrust, & they have under-minded employee loyalty. Something my college prof said I should expect from my employees if I ever betrayed their trust.
Not so at my job.Not only did I not get my paycheck by the time promised by my employer, but I got NOT ONE WORD as to what the status was about my pay, WHY it was that I was not going to get my pay, and WHEN I could expect to eventually get it.
I actually deliberated whether or not to even bother to get out of bed this morning at 3:30am. I have never given my employers anything to worry about when it comes to wondering if they will have anyone to show up to do a radio show. And I am not going to wonder if I will get paid on time or not. Therefore, why should I continue to give my employer such peace of mind? I sure don't have it.
I think this bitter pill would be easier to swallow if - at the very least - my employer would bite the bullet & approach me honestly & authentically to tell me the facts: That it is going to be a stretch at trying to meet payroll...and would I please bear with them. You would be amazed at the how far a little transparency goes with me.
What they have done, instead (by their silence & irresponsibility) is create an environment of bitterness, distrust, & they have under-minded employee loyalty. Something my college prof said I should expect from my employees if I ever betrayed their trust.
5.31.2008
Time Out
I'm returning to the blogging desk after a brief reprieve. I haven't posted anything because I have been so preoccupied with life...and I really haven't had much of an opinion about much lately. But I have also been mulling over just how I want to utilize this online opine site. 
Many times I've stressed myself out thinking I must compose some lengthy, witty article as if I were having it published in the New Yorker or something. Well, I'm changing that. I think I'm going to just post whatever is drifting through my head at the time, whether it's a paragraph or a small novel.
Of late, I have been facing the fact that after a career in broadcasting that began in 1979, there may be a coming paradigm shift. I love radio passionately. I spent 4 years training for this career in college. Radio is all I've ever done. It sure doesn't pay well, but it is the most fulfilling job I've ever had. I've had other side jobs in retail & as a pizza delivery driver. But I've always had radio as my primary job. Now with iPods & online/satellite radio stations on the rise, local terrestrial radio is becoming a lost art.
I hesitate at moving away from a career that has been my entire universe for almost 30 years but I do not want to ignore the facts, either. As for now, however, I still remain on the fence, trying not to get a splinter.
Many times I've stressed myself out thinking I must compose some lengthy, witty article as if I were having it published in the New Yorker or something. Well, I'm changing that. I think I'm going to just post whatever is drifting through my head at the time, whether it's a paragraph or a small novel.Of late, I have been facing the fact that after a career in broadcasting that began in 1979, there may be a coming paradigm shift. I love radio passionately. I spent 4 years training for this career in college. Radio is all I've ever done. It sure doesn't pay well, but it is the most fulfilling job I've ever had. I've had other side jobs in retail & as a pizza delivery driver. But I've always had radio as my primary job. Now with iPods & online/satellite radio stations on the rise, local terrestrial radio is becoming a lost art.
I hesitate at moving away from a career that has been my entire universe for almost 30 years but I do not want to ignore the facts, either. As for now, however, I still remain on the fence, trying not to get a splinter.
1.16.2008
Attitude Adjustment
When I was a senior in college, I took a course called "Advanced Broadcasting Practices I & II". It was "real life" in a functioning radio station -- namely, the 100,000 watt campus radio voice of Arkansas State University, KASU-FM. It had a very real and very vocal band of loyal listeners it had developed since going on the air in the 1960s. It gave broadcasting students a taste of reality in dealing with the media.
On the first day of class, my professor (who was also - at the time - the General Manager of KASU) spoke to us in our first & only classroom session. All future classes would be held within the KASU studio. He said something that I have never forgotten. He wanted to belay any assumptions anyone would develop over the course of the semester about his relationship with his students. He said that from that first day of class forward, until the last day of class, we were not to take anything person away from whatever he may say to us in class.
What's so big about that? He laid down what he wanted us to expect. He would be critical of our on-air performance, he would praise our accomplishments. And he would do it unbiased. So we were not to assume he was playing favorites amongst the students. It was a very valuable attitude adjustment for me as I studied under him. And from that day until now, I have had nothing but the highest respect for him.
But you know, so many folks do not stop to adjust their attitude like that. Instead, they muddle through life with the proverbial chip on their shoulder or have their expectations so high that they set themselves up for a big let down. There have been so many things I can recall my late father saying that have stuck with me. One of those is:
If we really acted as if we believed that, it would be amazing as to how stress-free our lives would be. My dad used to listen to Earl Nightingale on cassette for several mornings at a time as he got ready for work. And many of what he passed on to me was what he gleaned from what he heard on these tapes.
He also took Dale Carnegie Courses, which eventually led me to find the book How To Win Friends And Influence People. A book that was an eye-opener for me. This also led me to find a book in my school library (back in the days such books as this were allowed in school libraries) called, The Power of Positive Thinking For Young People by Norman Vincent Peale. All were part of my attitude adjustment.
Nightingale's biggest success came from a gold record he received from the spoken word album The Strangest Secret. This was one of the tapes my dad listened to. In this talk, Nightingale stressed that we become what we think about. Now just think about that for a minute.....
When you begin to think that you are the target for some unfortunate circumstance, you are creating a monster inside of you that can grow as fast as any acute cancer inside your body. Country singer Don Williams released a song back in the 1980s that speaks to this kind of thinking:
We base our expectations on a self-fulfilling prophecy we continue to perpetuate each time we tell ourself that this is how our life is. So, it just goes around & around like a dog chasing its tail. As the lyrics say, "Guess I learn to live that way", we condition ourself to expect the worst. We justify our behavior by saying that we're just trying to be realistic.
Realistic??
The first thing in being realistic is getting a good attitude adjustment. I start with saying that I live in the United States of America...not Utopia. I know that the way things should be, but the reality is that they're NOT as they should be. So I stop expecting that. This causes me to then focus on the little things in life that help life along rather than looking at life as a whole. I refuse to set myself up for a disappointment.
When I hold up standards so high that I get disappointed often, it caused others to be disappointed - if not frustrated - in the process. If I have a friend who I expect to call me frequently to just see how I'm doing & that friend doesn't do it, I get disappointed in that person & begin to think that this person really doesn't care at all for me. This angers me & begins to churn up feelings that may not accurately reflect reality. It may be that this friend is just plain absent-minded & really has so many plates spinning that nothing gets accomplished. He/she may feel bad that they don't stay in touch with their friends as often as they should. But my frustration with this person could play itself out in the form of a thought like, "You must not think much of me anymore since I've not heard anything from you." I may not say this to the friend, but that feeling has festered in my mind to the point that no matter what this person says about why they have neglected staying in touch with me, it would be filtered through my bias feelings toward that person.
Is that "reality"? Hardly.
However, if I just accept the reality that this friend is just absent-minded & really does have good intentions to stay in touch, but everything keeps getting in the way, I refrain from conjuring up feelings of neglect or rejection. So when I do see this friend, I am excited that at that moment we are able to connect & catch up on each other. I feel better about this friend, our relationship with each other, and this friend feels even more connected to me because I am not holding anything over their head.
Does this mean I turn a blind eye to the obvious? Absolutely NOT! Taking a positive approch to live does NOT mean I gloss over or ignore things in life that are NOT positive. There's a difference in turning a blind eye toward a negative situation & acknowledging the negative but choosing not to react to it.
This reality has given me such a lift in my life -- that I have control over what affects me....not the other way around. Another saying my dad used to quote was:
You can do this while you acknowledge the harsh reality of life but emphasize the positive side. And the strange thing about this is that I found when I took this approach to life, my change of attitude resulted in more people becoming at ease with me & this would provide me a better platform to talk about things that were not as positive. In other words, I became more approachable. It's one thing to let things bother you, but it's something different when you let others KNOW its bothers you. Yes, I believe there are times when I must vocalize my feelings...but do I have to do it with each instance? Or should I just pick my battles wisely?
Since I've come to live out the expectation that it is easier for me to change my attitude toward the world than the other way around, does this mean I have succumbed to a non-aggressive, wimpy mentality? Don't bet on it. I still have my same belief system. But I have allowed others to have theirs, too. I have written off any desire to try to change their belief or their lifestyle - until they feel like they need to include my opinion. In the meantime, I concentrate on finding ways to better connect with others. Finding ways to earn the right to speak truth into their lives.
I believe that if we all spent more time adjusting our attitude toward the world than expecting the world to change its attitude toward us, we may find that we're all pretty easy to live with. And that we could actually go through our lives genuinely trusting each other.
On the first day of class, my professor (who was also - at the time - the General Manager of KASU) spoke to us in our first & only classroom session. All future classes would be held within the KASU studio. He said something that I have never forgotten. He wanted to belay any assumptions anyone would develop over the course of the semester about his relationship with his students. He said that from that first day of class forward, until the last day of class, we were not to take anything person away from whatever he may say to us in class.
What's so big about that? He laid down what he wanted us to expect. He would be critical of our on-air performance, he would praise our accomplishments. And he would do it unbiased. So we were not to assume he was playing favorites amongst the students. It was a very valuable attitude adjustment for me as I studied under him. And from that day until now, I have had nothing but the highest respect for him.
But you know, so many folks do not stop to adjust their attitude like that. Instead, they muddle through life with the proverbial chip on their shoulder or have their expectations so high that they set themselves up for a big let down. There have been so many things I can recall my late father saying that have stuck with me. One of those is:
It's easier for you to change your attitude toward the world than for the world to change its attitude toward you.
If we really acted as if we believed that, it would be amazing as to how stress-free our lives would be. My dad used to listen to Earl Nightingale on cassette for several mornings at a time as he got ready for work. And many of what he passed on to me was what he gleaned from what he heard on these tapes.
He also took Dale Carnegie Courses, which eventually led me to find the book How To Win Friends And Influence People. A book that was an eye-opener for me. This also led me to find a book in my school library (back in the days such books as this were allowed in school libraries) called, The Power of Positive Thinking For Young People by Norman Vincent Peale. All were part of my attitude adjustment.
Nightingale's biggest success came from a gold record he received from the spoken word album The Strangest Secret. This was one of the tapes my dad listened to. In this talk, Nightingale stressed that we become what we think about. Now just think about that for a minute.....
When you begin to think that you are the target for some unfortunate circumstance, you are creating a monster inside of you that can grow as fast as any acute cancer inside your body. Country singer Don Williams released a song back in the 1980s that speaks to this kind of thinking:
I know all about black clouds,
There's one that follows me around
It may sound funny but somehow,
It only rains on me
It follows me almost everywhere,
And it seems it's hardly fair
People will stop and people stare,
But it only rains on me
I'll bet this won't hurt you much,
You'll find someone soon enough
I'm the one that loses in love,
It only rains on me
It's time we said goodbye and so,
I'll just take my cloud and go
Don't worry you'll forget I know,
It only rains on me
Chorus:
Broken dreams and drowned parades,
Lovers who just slip away
Guess I learn to live that way,
It only rains on me
Seems to me there was a time,
It used to rain on friends of mine
Now I look around and find,
It only rains on me
We base our expectations on a self-fulfilling prophecy we continue to perpetuate each time we tell ourself that this is how our life is. So, it just goes around & around like a dog chasing its tail. As the lyrics say, "Guess I learn to live that way", we condition ourself to expect the worst. We justify our behavior by saying that we're just trying to be realistic.
Realistic??
The first thing in being realistic is getting a good attitude adjustment. I start with saying that I live in the United States of America...not Utopia. I know that the way things should be, but the reality is that they're NOT as they should be. So I stop expecting that. This causes me to then focus on the little things in life that help life along rather than looking at life as a whole. I refuse to set myself up for a disappointment.
When I hold up standards so high that I get disappointed often, it caused others to be disappointed - if not frustrated - in the process. If I have a friend who I expect to call me frequently to just see how I'm doing & that friend doesn't do it, I get disappointed in that person & begin to think that this person really doesn't care at all for me. This angers me & begins to churn up feelings that may not accurately reflect reality. It may be that this friend is just plain absent-minded & really has so many plates spinning that nothing gets accomplished. He/she may feel bad that they don't stay in touch with their friends as often as they should. But my frustration with this person could play itself out in the form of a thought like, "You must not think much of me anymore since I've not heard anything from you." I may not say this to the friend, but that feeling has festered in my mind to the point that no matter what this person says about why they have neglected staying in touch with me, it would be filtered through my bias feelings toward that person.
Is that "reality"? Hardly.
However, if I just accept the reality that this friend is just absent-minded & really does have good intentions to stay in touch, but everything keeps getting in the way, I refrain from conjuring up feelings of neglect or rejection. So when I do see this friend, I am excited that at that moment we are able to connect & catch up on each other. I feel better about this friend, our relationship with each other, and this friend feels even more connected to me because I am not holding anything over their head.
Does this mean I turn a blind eye to the obvious? Absolutely NOT! Taking a positive approch to live does NOT mean I gloss over or ignore things in life that are NOT positive. There's a difference in turning a blind eye toward a negative situation & acknowledging the negative but choosing not to react to it.
This reality has given me such a lift in my life -- that I have control over what affects me....not the other way around. Another saying my dad used to quote was:
Think enthusiastic & you will be enthusiastic.
You can do this while you acknowledge the harsh reality of life but emphasize the positive side. And the strange thing about this is that I found when I took this approach to life, my change of attitude resulted in more people becoming at ease with me & this would provide me a better platform to talk about things that were not as positive. In other words, I became more approachable. It's one thing to let things bother you, but it's something different when you let others KNOW its bothers you. Yes, I believe there are times when I must vocalize my feelings...but do I have to do it with each instance? Or should I just pick my battles wisely?
Since I've come to live out the expectation that it is easier for me to change my attitude toward the world than the other way around, does this mean I have succumbed to a non-aggressive, wimpy mentality? Don't bet on it. I still have my same belief system. But I have allowed others to have theirs, too. I have written off any desire to try to change their belief or their lifestyle - until they feel like they need to include my opinion. In the meantime, I concentrate on finding ways to better connect with others. Finding ways to earn the right to speak truth into their lives.
I believe that if we all spent more time adjusting our attitude toward the world than expecting the world to change its attitude toward us, we may find that we're all pretty easy to live with. And that we could actually go through our lives genuinely trusting each other.
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