Amazing what a simple thing like signing a guest book can do. All I did was sign a guestbook entry in the newly redesigned website for my hometown newspaper. Next thing I know, I'm getting email from old friends I haven't heard from in decades.
Which got me to thinking how time and separation really alters reality. Friendships I had with folks I was close to in high school suddenly have an awkwardness to them. It's as if I'm trying to grasp for good leveridge! Why is that? I know that lots of water has run under the bridge...which includes a spouse, kids, career, and the evolving of one's maturity.
I was able to talk to one of these long, lost friends on the phone this weekend. Talk about stammering all over myself. My mind was racing to find some common bond that had a 25 year gap in the middle. It was only after I had the chance to digest our much-belated reunion did I begin to formulate some cognitive feelings about my friend & our friendship.
In high school, well... in school period, I was not what you would call one of the kids voted most popular. If they had the category of "Butt of All Jokes", I would have won with flying colors. That's some of the blessings of growing up for 12 years in the same small town school district. So, I'm not exactly what you'd call very excited about tracing any of my old high school classmates to see where they are now. I have never been to a high school reunion nor do I have the urge to do so. I can count on one hand the number of classmates I would even want to know what has traspired in their lives. In fact, the one classmate I was best friends with early on in my grade school years seems to have faded into oblivion.
But there were a precious few (one being the friend who contacted me this week) who buck the norm. I have always said that I've had so many "fair weather friends" that I could've been a weatherman. I take friendship very seriously. I place a lot of importance to friendship. And I feel a good friendship is worth some kind of investment from both persons. It's quality over quantity...meaning that the intensity of a friendship outweigh the frequency one tries to stay in touch. At least it's that way for me. I realize that life throws up a lot of distractions & interruptions. And sometimes friendships get shelved for a few years.
This is one instance where a true friendship just got placed on a shelf for several years & has now been taken down. It just needs a little dusting & cleaning...and soon will look just as fresh & vibrant as it was 25 years ago. How many shelved friendships do you have? Is it time to bring out the featherduster? Dusting off a shelved friendship will stir things up a bit just as cleaning some dusty relics from the attic can stir up your allergies. But it's worth the awkwardness of reconnection to be able to enjoy the warmth of a good friend you haven't heard from in a long time.
I have had a warmth inside of me these last few days that I haven't had in many years just because I heard from long, lost friend. I have not been able to get this friend off my mind since hearing from him. And despite the huge gap in our relationship, suddenly I feel closer to him now than if we had been next door neighbors for these past 25 years.
I guess genuine, good friends tend to do that.
1 comment:
The thing I find interesting about friends is those persons I served with in the military seem much more faithful than those I've served with in different churches.
I have three friends that I've kept in touch with almost 50 years (USAF) I found a "home" missionary on the net and called them by phone and more or less got blown off. Like they didn't have time. We served with these guys in Montana.They worked with reservation Indians.
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