During the holidays, typically, familes get together to reconnect & to reacquaint cousins with aunts, uncles & more cousins. In my family, we all tried to hit as many bases as we could. My dad would take us to a variety of relatives' houses each holiday season. We would usually hit a few on my dad's side during Thanksgiving...staying overnight with both his brothers living in South Arkansas, attending our annual reunion, stopping by my great-grandmother's home, then to my grandmother's sister's house & maybe some other relative living nearby.
Christmas would sometimes find us on the other end of Arkansas, visiting my mother's kinfolk... I remember one year, we stayed over a week's time & spent the night with my grandma, my two great uncles, & my mom's first cousin. They all lived within a 25 mile radius...with my 2 uncles living across town from each other. We didn't do this every year, but we tried to at least make a overnight visit or an afternoon visit pretty regular.
As a parent, I try to be as consistent in visiting relatives on my side as well as my wife's side of the family. Since my parents have passed on, I do devoutly make the annual trip to Arkansas for my Thanksgiving reunion, & try to stop by to see some of my mom's relatives in Northwest Arkansas every other year so they can see how the kids have grown. And, my mother-in-law is welcomed to our home regularly to spend a few weeks with us...and we try to make it to see her, too, as well as my brother-in-law.
However, we get a annual 2 hr. visit from my sister every year. That's it, and not much more. Her family has never spent a night at my house - ever. One year, when my parents were both alive, we had probably the last chance to have our entire family together: Me, my sis, Mom, & Dad...all over at my house for a Sunday dinner. My sis, instead chose to eat with her in-laws (who lived across town) because "Grammy" was celebrating the grandson's birthday...3 months after the fact. But she would come "watch us eat".
What's up w'dat?
Now, this year... My sis's family drive up to PA - mainly to see her in-laws & her husband's family - and can stop by to see us if it's not going to interfere with them making good time to see her husband's family.
Frankly, I just feel like tellng her that we really do not need the "obligitory" visit if it is such an interruption into visiting her family.
Yeah, I don't have any of my family living anywhere near Central PA...but I do have some wonderful friends in my church & my neighborhood. And, the family I do have that lives mostly down South, are closer to me than my own sis...mainly because I see them annually & remain in touch with them on a fairly regular basis.
Do I regret it? Not really. Will my sister? Time will tell, I guess.
I just spend the night with a friend of mine who lives in Northwest PA (where I lived for 18 years after moving out of Arkansas) & felt so connected with this friend & his family that I really do not have any regrets about the dis-jointed relationship I have with my sis. I just wonder if, in 20 years, she will wish things had been different.
I look at this past year & see how God has blessed me with some awesome experiences with friends I feel close to. I look at what is in store in the next year & feel excited about where God is leading me & who He will use in my life. We're ringing in the new year with the family of a friend of my oldest son. Another chance to connect to a new friend who will become a new member of our ever-growing extended family.
12.14.2006
Twelve Inches
I read this devotion this morning and felt not only to repost it, but to add some comments & lyrics to a very deep song.
By Os Hillman
Now Samuel did not yet know the Lord: The word of the Lord had not yet been revealed to him. - 1 Samuel 3:7
Do you know God's voice? Can you recognize it when He speaks? In order to hear God's voice, you must be clean before Him and listen. Listen to God's voice today and follow His plans for you.
So many of us have a head knowledge about God...but will miss eternal life in Heaven by twelve inches....the distance between your head & your heart.
By Os Hillman
Now Samuel did not yet know the Lord: The word of the Lord had not yet been revealed to him. - 1 Samuel 3:7
Samuel was born to Hannah, a woman who had a deep commitment to God. She was
barren, but she cried out to God for a son. The Lord gave her Samuel, whom she
completely gave to the Lord for His service. After weaning him, she took him to
the house of the Lord to be reared by the priests. Eli was the priest of Israel,
but he was not a godly leader. He had allowed much corruption, including the
sins of his sons, in God's house. God was not pleased with Eli and later judged
him and his household.
Samuel grew up in the temple serving God. He also
grew up seeing the hypocrisy of Eli's household, yet this did not change the
young man. God was with him. We learn that even though young Samuel had a belief
in God, he had not yet experienced a personal relationship with Him. God called
to Samuel three times, but Samuel thought it was Eli, the priest, calling him.
Finally, Eli told him to say, "Speak Lord, for your servant is listening" (1
Sam. 3:9b). This is what Samuel did, and God began telling Samuel important
things to come.
Many of us grow up in religious environments. We go to
church every week. We have a head knowledge of God, but we do not recognize
God's voice in our lives. There comes a time when we must recognize God's voice
for ourselves. God does not want us to have a religion; He wants us to have a
two-way relationship with Him. Samuel was never the same after this encounter.
He would know God's voice and would respond to Him in obedience.
Do you know God's voice? Can you recognize it when He speaks? In order to hear God's voice, you must be clean before Him and listen. Listen to God's voice today and follow His plans for you.
So many of us have a head knowledge about God...but will miss eternal life in Heaven by twelve inches....the distance between your head & your heart.
Veteran musician Larry Norman said it best in his spoken word composition called, The Tune:
Once there was a tune and everyone knew how it went
But as time went by, people began to forget
Until at last no one could remember.
And there was hatred, and wars, and death.
Then one day somebody said, "How
does the tune go?"
"There is no tune, there never was; it's only a
myth."
These were the philosophers.
"You mean there's no tune at
all?"
"Well, it doesn't really matter what tune you play
As long as you play something."
These were the religious leaders.
And so the world played on.
And there was hatred, and wars, and death.
Then one day the people became weary of this song
And they all sat down on the side of a hill
And suddenly they heard a very strange voice
And somebody said, "That sounds like the tune."
"There is no tune, there never was, there never will
be."
"Well, it doesn't really matter what tune you play
As long as you play something
And you don't hurt anybody - especially me."
But the people listened
And a man appeared before them
With a smile on his face
And a sad look, too,
And he was singing the tune.
And some of the people began to sing along.
And the people who loved Him
Decided to follow him,
But the people who hated him
Decided to kill him.
And they did.
And when it was finished,
They went back to their houses of philosophy and religion
And they sat down to their tables to eat and drink.
Suddenly, they were interrupted by a familiar voice
And they ran to their windows and looked outside
To see who it was.
It was him.
And they became confused and afraid
And they wondered how they could be rid of him
Once and for all.
And while they were watching him,
Something very strange happened.
"How did he do that?"
"I don't really know, but he's gone...
And when trouble goes, you don't ask where.
He'll never return again. I hope."
Yet again they were interrupted.
This time they ran out into the streets to lay hold of him
But they couldn't find him.
Just a lot of people smiling, and they all know the tune.
And when the people made a mistake
They stopped and they listened.
That's how they knew the tune,
Because they listened.
And if you listen, you'll hear it.
It's all around you.
Just listen to your radio,
Watch television,
Listen to your leaders, to the authorities,
To the governments, to the experts.
But if you really listen,
You can hear another tune,
But you have to listen quietly,
And you have to listen every day.
11.02.2006
Treats or Tricks?
Oh the wailing...the crying...the gnashing of teeth!
A moment captured in time as my two boys tried to wolf down their supper so they could hit the streets begging for candy, Trick-Or-Treating this year. Daniel, had no problem. Cameron, on the other hand, was having a meltdown because he got a note sent home from his teacher -- again -- saying he was goofing off during classtime & was unable to finish his classwork. The rule in the house is that if you are given your classwork to take home because you were goofing off in class, then it must be completed before any "fun" takes place.
In this case, "fun" was spelled, "H-A-L-L-O-W-E-E-N".
So, Cameron was trying to gobble up his supper so he could leave for trick-or-treating when his younger brother, Daniel, did. But the peanut butter bagel was not helping him to this very fast. The more he bit off, the harder the job got. The gaping mouth full of goo was just too good to pass up for our friend, David, who was to be handing out candy at our house while all of our family walked around the neighborhood with our two "super heroes". He had to snap a commemorative photo of the tantrum which we now will be using as soon as Cameron is old enough to date.
Parenting is so much fun.
10.25.2006
Baptizing my first born
This month, my oldest son felt led to take the step of following through with getting baptized. He wasn't baptized as an infant because I do not believe in infant baptism. We did have him dedicated at our church in St. Marys, PA...we dedicated him to the Lord to be Godly parents & to bring him up in a home where Jesus is at the table as well as the rest of the family.
He was so excited about doing something that Jesus Himself did & encouraged His Followers to do. I tried to make sure he understood that while this would be a time everyone would be happy, it was not a "pool party"...that it was a ceremony that depicts his inward faith through an outward expression.
The ceremony went well. It was hard not to have my eyes wet especially when our friend (and Elder in my church) prayed over my son just before he baptized him.
Now, when it comes time should my youngest son be baptized, I want to make certain that it does not go down like this:
He was so excited about doing something that Jesus Himself did & encouraged His Followers to do. I tried to make sure he understood that while this would be a time everyone would be happy, it was not a "pool party"...that it was a ceremony that depicts his inward faith through an outward expression.
The ceremony went well. It was hard not to have my eyes wet especially when our friend (and Elder in my church) prayed over my son just before he baptized him.
Now, when it comes time should my youngest son be baptized, I want to make certain that it does not go down like this:
10.16.2006
Indians pull off Memphis Miracle - Sports
Indians pull off Memphis Miracle - Sports
What an incredible story for one incredible football team! I have spent the whole weekend reading all the newspaper articles about this miracle in Memphis. This just reinforces my pride in being an Arkansas State INDIAN fan!
What an incredible story for one incredible football team! I have spent the whole weekend reading all the newspaper articles about this miracle in Memphis. This just reinforces my pride in being an Arkansas State INDIAN fan!
10.15.2006
Family Portraits
The thought of yet another sitting that involved trying to convince my youngest boy to cooperate with the photographer so that we could have some portraits to send out with Christmas cards only created more anxiety. Every time we would enter the Sears Portrait Studio for our sitting, Daniel would instantly transform into this kid who would respond completely opposite to the way he would be told. If we tried to discipline this behavior, he would instantly well up & bawl his eyeballs out. And we know how lovely this makes for a photo.
Once at a Sears sitting, 19 different takes were shot before we could get a pose from Daniel that did not look like he was mad at someone or that he had red rings around his eyes from all the squalling. Daniel would want to play with the props instead of posing with them. When he could not, he would go limp & the poor photographer would have to contend with a limp ragdoll to try to prop up in order to get a photo shot.
My wife would leave the photo shoot in a straitjacket.
The photographers started asking for overtime...in advance... when they'd see we had made an appointment.
However this past weekend was a welcome change. We decided to pay for the services of a photographer (who also was the sister of friends of ours) to take shots as we posed in the local park in town. Plenty of backdrops ranged from park benches to waterfalls, autumn leaves to lattice, bridges to trees, and the like.
We had started a week early with Daniel - preparing him that we were going to get pictures taken. Only this time, it would not just be photos of he & his brother, as it had been in the past. This year, we would take the risk & have portraits made of the whole family! My wife drilled it into the 4 year old's head with bribery, promising Daniel a "surprise" if he smiled & cooperated.
When we started getting settled in our first pose, Daniel was asked to sit next to Mommy. But Daniel wanted to sit next to Daddy. And we were off to yet another disasterous photo shoot. But the photographer's husband began an animated display of entertainment which rapidly changed Daniel's attitude.
So, believe it or not, we were able to get many very good poses of not just the family...but of the two boys...and we all had a lot of fun out of the experience.
It has been a hectic weekend...shoot - it's been a hectic month! I have had stuff going on for weeks! And now with barely 10 hours of sleep over the past 48 hours, I am keeping from going cross-eyed as I record some of my thoughts.
Life is busy...unpredictable, and tiring. But in the midst of the challenges that I face, I still feel God is in control...even when it comes to chaotic family portraits. I often wonder if I have a life that is detatched from reality - that I am wondering lost without a clear direction except for what I consider to be the "right way". Yet I look at others & realize my life is not that much indifferrent from the next person's.
A lot can be read into the subjects who pose in family portraits. I believe that looking through all the distractions & challenges that our family faces each day, I can see that God is certainly smiling down upon our family.
Now, I can't write anymore... I need to take a nap.
Once at a Sears sitting, 19 different takes were shot before we could get a pose from Daniel that did not look like he was mad at someone or that he had red rings around his eyes from all the squalling. Daniel would want to play with the props instead of posing with them. When he could not, he would go limp & the poor photographer would have to contend with a limp ragdoll to try to prop up in order to get a photo shot.
My wife would leave the photo shoot in a straitjacket.
The photographers started asking for overtime...in advance... when they'd see we had made an appointment.
However this past weekend was a welcome change. We decided to pay for the services of a photographer (who also was the sister of friends of ours) to take shots as we posed in the local park in town. Plenty of backdrops ranged from park benches to waterfalls, autumn leaves to lattice, bridges to trees, and the like.
We had started a week early with Daniel - preparing him that we were going to get pictures taken. Only this time, it would not just be photos of he & his brother, as it had been in the past. This year, we would take the risk & have portraits made of the whole family! My wife drilled it into the 4 year old's head with bribery, promising Daniel a "surprise" if he smiled & cooperated.
When we started getting settled in our first pose, Daniel was asked to sit next to Mommy. But Daniel wanted to sit next to Daddy. And we were off to yet another disasterous photo shoot. But the photographer's husband began an animated display of entertainment which rapidly changed Daniel's attitude.
So, believe it or not, we were able to get many very good poses of not just the family...but of the two boys...and we all had a lot of fun out of the experience.
It has been a hectic weekend...shoot - it's been a hectic month! I have had stuff going on for weeks! And now with barely 10 hours of sleep over the past 48 hours, I am keeping from going cross-eyed as I record some of my thoughts.
Life is busy...unpredictable, and tiring. But in the midst of the challenges that I face, I still feel God is in control...even when it comes to chaotic family portraits. I often wonder if I have a life that is detatched from reality - that I am wondering lost without a clear direction except for what I consider to be the "right way". Yet I look at others & realize my life is not that much indifferrent from the next person's.
A lot can be read into the subjects who pose in family portraits. I believe that looking through all the distractions & challenges that our family faces each day, I can see that God is certainly smiling down upon our family.
Now, I can't write anymore... I need to take a nap.
9.09.2006
Help me to understand
It never ceases to amaze me how purely stupid some ministers of the Gospel of Jesus Christ can be.
Yeah, I said ministers. Preachers. Pastors. I really think some people think that because they have a degree from "cemetary"...er, I mean seminary, they can poke their noses into the business of anyone they jolly well please. Even total strangers.
Take one such busybody....a preacher who contacted a board member of a Christian radio station I volunteer at once a week to do a rock show. He felt it was his calling to Google people who was there. Okay, fine. It's a free country. Well, he Googled me & for some unknown reason, he got a link to my Frapper page. Yeah, so it's just another page to "network" with people online.
Well then he got his sanctimonious nose out of joint when he saw that ~gasp!!~ I had a pipe in my mouth. But even that wasn't as big of a deal except that in my description I had also mentioned that my radio show was on this station. Okay so now he thinks this is an issue.
I say, "Get a life."
It just frosts me when shallow people who get a little "spirituality" and think God has called them to control another person. I have said before that my spirituality, my relationship to God, or my eternal destination is not solely wrapped up in what I wear, what I say, what I put in my mouth, or any other picky-unish little splinter someone wants to find (using a magnifying glass) in my eye.
And, the same should also apply to anything I am associated with (yeah, I know my participle is dangling...but I'm just a bit horked off at the moment).
Now, thankfully the board member at the station was cool about it.... Thank the Lord there IS some reason in the world. And, for the sake of this pompus preacher who is "bothered" by this "offensive" photo, I took it off my page and removed any reference to the radio station. But good grief... I wonder if he'd be just as accomodating if someone was critical of him or one of his sermons? Or someone at his church? Or what he watched on TV when no one was looking?
You know what's even funnier? The man who founded Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Fort Worth, TX smoked a cigar and had the thing painted into a portrait of him that is displayed at the school.
Well, it was displayed at the school for years until....
...some fat-headed pharisee got their knickers in a twist about seeing the founder of the seminary posing with a fat cigar between his fingers. So the school had it painted out!!
And the conservative Christian community are the ones crying "foul" when the secular humanists try to rewrite history in our schoolchildrens' textbooks.....
Get real people. It's not about what you smoke, eat, drink, or wear. It's about Jesus.
Yeah, I said ministers. Preachers. Pastors. I really think some people think that because they have a degree from "cemetary"...er, I mean seminary, they can poke their noses into the business of anyone they jolly well please. Even total strangers.
Take one such busybody....a preacher who contacted a board member of a Christian radio station I volunteer at once a week to do a rock show. He felt it was his calling to Google people who was there. Okay, fine. It's a free country. Well, he Googled me & for some unknown reason, he got a link to my Frapper page. Yeah, so it's just another page to "network" with people online.
Well then he got his sanctimonious nose out of joint when he saw that ~gasp!!~ I had a pipe in my mouth. But even that wasn't as big of a deal except that in my description I had also mentioned that my radio show was on this station. Okay so now he thinks this is an issue.
I say, "Get a life."
It just frosts me when shallow people who get a little "spirituality" and think God has called them to control another person. I have said before that my spirituality, my relationship to God, or my eternal destination is not solely wrapped up in what I wear, what I say, what I put in my mouth, or any other picky-unish little splinter someone wants to find (using a magnifying glass) in my eye.
And, the same should also apply to anything I am associated with (yeah, I know my participle is dangling...but I'm just a bit horked off at the moment).
Now, thankfully the board member at the station was cool about it.... Thank the Lord there IS some reason in the world. And, for the sake of this pompus preacher who is "bothered" by this "offensive" photo, I took it off my page and removed any reference to the radio station. But good grief... I wonder if he'd be just as accomodating if someone was critical of him or one of his sermons? Or someone at his church? Or what he watched on TV when no one was looking?
You know what's even funnier? The man who founded Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Fort Worth, TX smoked a cigar and had the thing painted into a portrait of him that is displayed at the school.
Well, it was displayed at the school for years until....
...some fat-headed pharisee got their knickers in a twist about seeing the founder of the seminary posing with a fat cigar between his fingers. So the school had it painted out!!
And the conservative Christian community are the ones crying "foul" when the secular humanists try to rewrite history in our schoolchildrens' textbooks.....
Get real people. It's not about what you smoke, eat, drink, or wear. It's about Jesus.
8.23.2006
I'm not much into football, but. . .
I have never been the athletic kind to start getting the heebie-jeebies about this time of the year. The time when the "2-a-days" start on the practice field & folks are making sure they have their season tickets bought for the upcoming football season.
I live in Nittany Lion Country...Happy Valley, PA...the home of Joe Paterno & Penn State. People around here just go stupid crazy over football, and it's going to be an ever more stupid-crazy fall this year since Penn State won a bowl game last year. Already, freshman enrollment is up 25% - higher than in the school's history. The University is encouraging incoming freshment to consider living in apartments instead of on campus.
I dread going to Wal-Mart on a day of a home game.
But I should not be all that worked up because my childhood is grounded in Friday night football traditions. And, yes, I get a little stupid-crazy over the twice-State Champions - the Booneville Bearcats - even before they make it to the play-offs in November.
Every Friday night my family would set aside anything else on our agenda & we would battle the lines of cars to Bearcat Stadium where we'd sit on splintery, old bleachers & shout ourselves hoarse for the town's only football team. And that town needed no other. Hardly a store was open, hardly a car was seen on Main & Broadway, and hardly were there anything going on in town except at Bearcat Stadium.
There, nearly 90% of Booneville's 3,200 residents jammed into the home stands to make enough thunderous noise to scare the britches off anyone from an opposing team long before the umpire blew the first whistle to start the coin toss.
I remember chilly evenings where I huddled over my cup of hot chocolate, watching to see if the Bearcats would inch that ball into the end zone. On the less intense moments, my lack of interest in athletics was seen more prominently as I would be running under the bleachers or goofing off with my friends who were playing in the pep band.
Yet I had to be in Bearcat Stadium every Friday night...and I had to be on the bus my church would take to attend every "Away" game, too. And, when the Bearcats would come away with another victory, I had to join in the blaring of horns as the dozens of cars filed out of the parking lot into town. It was such a rush to just lay on the horn for blocks on end & watch as folks would cheer from the sidewalks knowing that the mighty Booneville Bearcats stomped another victim.
Now, since I live 12,00 miles away from Bearcat Stadium, I must simply read about the thrill of the game or the agony of defeat in my weekly newspaper from Booneville that I get in the mail every week. And I read with a strange twinge within me as I see names I am very familiar with...names that used to be my classmates - except that they are the children of my old classmates. And they are keeping the spirit alive by wearing those colors of honor: The Purple And The Gold.
Now, where's my hot chocolate & popcorn?
I live in Nittany Lion Country...Happy Valley, PA...the home of Joe Paterno & Penn State. People around here just go stupid crazy over football, and it's going to be an ever more stupid-crazy fall this year since Penn State won a bowl game last year. Already, freshman enrollment is up 25% - higher than in the school's history. The University is encouraging incoming freshment to consider living in apartments instead of on campus.
I dread going to Wal-Mart on a day of a home game.
But I should not be all that worked up because my childhood is grounded in Friday night football traditions. And, yes, I get a little stupid-crazy over the twice-State Champions - the Booneville Bearcats - even before they make it to the play-offs in November.
Every Friday night my family would set aside anything else on our agenda & we would battle the lines of cars to Bearcat Stadium where we'd sit on splintery, old bleachers & shout ourselves hoarse for the town's only football team. And that town needed no other. Hardly a store was open, hardly a car was seen on Main & Broadway, and hardly were there anything going on in town except at Bearcat Stadium.
There, nearly 90% of Booneville's 3,200 residents jammed into the home stands to make enough thunderous noise to scare the britches off anyone from an opposing team long before the umpire blew the first whistle to start the coin toss.
I remember chilly evenings where I huddled over my cup of hot chocolate, watching to see if the Bearcats would inch that ball into the end zone. On the less intense moments, my lack of interest in athletics was seen more prominently as I would be running under the bleachers or goofing off with my friends who were playing in the pep band.
Yet I had to be in Bearcat Stadium every Friday night...and I had to be on the bus my church would take to attend every "Away" game, too. And, when the Bearcats would come away with another victory, I had to join in the blaring of horns as the dozens of cars filed out of the parking lot into town. It was such a rush to just lay on the horn for blocks on end & watch as folks would cheer from the sidewalks knowing that the mighty Booneville Bearcats stomped another victim.
Now, since I live 12,00 miles away from Bearcat Stadium, I must simply read about the thrill of the game or the agony of defeat in my weekly newspaper from Booneville that I get in the mail every week. And I read with a strange twinge within me as I see names I am very familiar with...names that used to be my classmates - except that they are the children of my old classmates. And they are keeping the spirit alive by wearing those colors of honor: The Purple And The Gold.
Now, where's my hot chocolate & popcorn?
7.25.2006
Analyzing my temperment, personality, & gifts.
So many have given their "assessment" on my personality & character, I thought I would just go online for a quick, unofficial, analysis of just what makes up me. Some results were actually pretty revealing...
SPIRITUAL GIFTS TEST:
Administration/Ruling - 15
Discernment - 16
Evangelism - 17
Exhortation - 20
Faith - 19
Giving - 7
Helps/Serving/Ministering - 10
Knowledge - 10
Mercy - 10
Pastor/Teacher - 11
Teaching - 13
Wisdom - 14
Discernment - 16
Evangelism - 17
Exhortation - 20
Faith - 19
Giving - 7
Helps/Serving/Ministering - 10
Knowledge - 10
Mercy - 10
Pastor/Teacher - 11
Teaching - 13
Wisdom - 14
MOTIVATIONAL GIFTS SURVEY:
The Perceiver: 70%
The Server: 25%
The Teacher: 55%
The Encourager: 85%
The Giver: 30%
The Ruler: 50%
Showing Mercy: 36%
Showing Mercy: 36%
The Greek root word for encouraging is "paraklesis". The scriptures show that the gift of encouragement will 1) edify and exhort 2) give peace to a troubled mind through speaking a message of encouragement and 3) bring joy and comfort.
Encouragers have the ability to call forth the best in others through encouragement and motivation. Thus naturally, people with the gift of encouragement feel comfortable around people and tend to have extraverted personalities. Anecdotal research shows that encouragers not only encourage others but also like to prescribe practical advice. Encouragers want to see people improve and succeed. They have an ability to bring new life to people who have lost their determination and feel burnt out.
Encouragers are good with every personality and gift. However, because encouragers are considerate of the feelings of others, they can easily be offended when people are not considerate toward them. Encouragers love to "fix" things and make the world a happier place!
The first motivational gift in Romans 12 is the gift of perceiving. The Greek word for this gift is "propheteia". In scripture, we can see specific traits and behaviors of the gift of perceiving. They are: 1) the ability to interpret scripture, 2) to reveal information to others, and 3) an ability to speak the mind of God.
Perceivers have a keen sense of right and wrong. This is a form of discernment that we have seen in Christians and non-Christians alike. It is because of this sense of right and wrong that perceivers hold very high standards. They tend to be perfectionists because of their high standards and often become their own worst critics. In some cases, perceivers do not realize their gift and they can become very critical of other people or situations, which emerges as a pessimistic attitude.
The primary function of this gift is to reveal information the perceiver has discerned in a way that will help others. This information is not always positive and well received. As a result, perceivers sometimes appear direct, blunt, or inconsiderate of the feelings of others particularly when sharing this information with people possessing different motivational gifts. This is a classic case of the gift being misunderstood because their real intention is to help people.
In contrast, at times the primary function of the gift is not to reveal the information the perceiver has discerned – in these cases, God has allowed the perceiver to discern such things so they can pray about them. Often when people do not understand the purpose of this gift, they can feel (and become) judgmental instead of prayerful. Make no mistake about it, this information is purposefully shown to the perceiver for a reason!
From the ADVISOR TEAM:
Guardians are the cornerstone of society, for they are the temperament given to serving and preserving our most important social institutions. Guardians have natural talent in managing goods and services--from supervision to maintenance and supply--and they use all their skills to keep things running smoothly in their families, communities, schools, churches, hospitals, and businesses.
Guardians can have a lot of fun with their friends, but they are quite serious about their duties and responsibilities. Guardians take pride in being dependable and trustworthy; if there's a job to be done, they can be counted on to put their shoulder to the wheel. Guardians also believe in law and order, and sometimes worry that respect for authority, even a fundamental sense of right and wrong, is being lost. Perhaps this is why Guardians honor customs and traditions so strongly--they are familiar patterns that help bring stability to our modern, fast-paced world.
Practical and down-to-earth, Guardians believe in following the rules and cooperating with others. They are not very comfortable winging it or blazing new trails; working steadily within the system is the Guardian way, for in the long run loyalty, discipline, and teamwork get the job done right. Guardians are meticulous about schedules and have a sharp eye for proper procedures. They are cautious about change, even though they know that change can be healthy for an institution. Better to go slowly, they say, and look before you leap.
Guardians make up as much as 40 to 45 percent of the population.
The JUNG TYPEOLOGY TEST:
| Your Type is ENTP |
| Extroverted | Intuitive | Thinking | Perceiving |
Qualitative analysis of your type formula
You are:
You are:
- moderately expressed extrovert
- moderately expressed intuitive personality
- moderately expressed thinking personality
- moderately expressed perceiving personality
Extraverted iNtuitive Thinking Perceiving
by Marina Margaret Heiss
Profile: ENTP
Revision: 3.0
Date of Revision: 26 Feb 2005
"Clever" is the word that perhaps describes ENTPs best. The professor who juggles half a dozen ideas for research papers and grant proposals in his mind while giving a highly entertaining lecture on an abstruse subject is a classic example of the type. So is the stand-up comedian whose lampoons are not only funny, but incisively accurate.
ENTPs are usually verbally as well as cerebrally quick, and generally love to argue--both for its own sake, and to show off their often-impressive skills. They tend to have a perverse sense of humor as well, and enjoy playing devil's advocate. They sometimes confuse, even inadvertently hurt, those who don't understand or accept the concept of argument as a sport.
ENTPs are as innovative and ingenious at problem-solving as they are at verbal gymnastics; on occasion, however, they manage to outsmart themselves. This can take the form of getting found out at "sharp practice"--ENTPs have been known to cut corners without regard to the rules if it's expedient -- or simply in the collapse of an over-ambitious juggling act. Both at work and at home, ENTPs are very fond of "toys"--physical or intellectual, the more sophisticated the better. They tend to tire of these quickly, however, and move on to new ones.
ENTPs are basically optimists, but in spite of this (perhaps because of it?), they tend to become extremely petulant about small setbacks and inconveniences. (Major setbacks they tend to regard as challenges, and tackle with determin- ation.) ENTPs have little patience with those they consider wrongheaded or unintelligent, and show little restraint in demonstrating this. However, they do tend to be extremely genial, if not charming, when not being harassed by life in general.
In terms of their relationships with others, ENTPs are capable of bonding very closely and, initially, suddenly, with their loved ones. Some appear to be deceptively offhand with their nearest and dearest; others are so demonstrative that they succeed in shocking co-workers who've only seen their professional side. ENTPs are also good at acquiring friends who are as clever and entertaining as they are. Aside from those two areas, ENTPs tend to be oblivious of the rest of humanity, except as an audience -- good, bad, or potential.
Some Famous ENTPs:
Alexander the Great
Confederate General J. E. B. Stuart
Sir Walter Raleigh
Fictional:
Mercutio, from Romeo and Juliet
Horace Rumpole, from John Mortimer's Rumpole of the Bailey series
Dorothy L. Sayers's detective Lord Peter Wimsey
A Functional Analysis -- by Joe Butt
Extraverted iNtuition
ENTPs are nothing if not unique. Brave new associations flow freely from the unconscious into the world of the living. Making, discovering and developing connections between and among two or more of anything is virtually automatic. The product of intuition is merely an icon of process; ENTPs are in the business of change, improvement, experimentation.
The attraction Extraverted iNtuition has toward the real and physical amounts to a cosmic non sequitur: theory is drawn to practice. Such encounters are clearly puzzling. Both parties--the intuitor and the realist--are aware of a xenic quality in their meeting, with reactions ranging from recoil to reverie.
Introverted Thinking
Thinking is iNtuition's ready assistant, an embodiment of the sort of logic found in laws, boards and circuits. Thinking's job is to lend focus and direction to iNtuition's critical mass. The temporary habitations of changeling iNtuition are constructed of Boolean materials from Thinking's storehouse. Ultimately, Thinking is no match for iNtuition's prodigiousness. Systems lie in various states of disarray, fragmentary traces of Thinking's feverish attempts to shadow and undergird the leaps of the dominant function. One can only suppose that Thinking must continue to work during REM sleep pulling together iNtuition's brainchildren into integral wholes.
Extraverted Feeling
To the extent that Feeling is developed, ENTPs extravert Feeling judgment. As a result, it is not uncommon to find affability and bonhomie in members of this species. Tertiary functions are potentially utilitarian. Their limitations appear in their relative underdevelopment, diminished endurance, and vulnerability. ENTPs may harness Feeling's good will in areas such as sales, service, drama, humor and art. ENTP loyalty often runs high and can be hooked by those the ENTP counts as friends.
Introverted Sensing
Like a tail on the kite of iNtuition, Introverted Sensing counterweighs these beings drawn to nonconformity and anarchy. These shadowy sensory forms, so familiar to SJ types, serve as lodestones which many ENTPs employ Herculean measures to escape. "Question authority! (then do exactly what it tells you)" sums up the dilemma in which ENTPs may find themselves by attempting to best the tarbaby Sensing. Occasionally acknowledging awareness of norms and abnormality could, in theory, be potentially freeing.
Additionally, I've noticed that ENTPs have the need to have areas of expertise/excellence/uniqueness in which one is second to none. I've never beaten an ENTP at his/her own game--not in the final analysis. (e.g., just tonight, my neighbor who is recuperating from an illness received a call from an ENTP friend offering his special recipe for tea. The instructions required only the finest ingredients, a particular brand of orange juice, tea made with a ball--none of those horrid teabags--..., which will of course make the best tea of which he himself drinks 50 gallons each winter!)
A Few More Famous ENTPs
- U.S. Presidents:
- John Adams, 2nd US president.
[Adams appears to have been competing with
Thomas Jefferson to see who would live the
longest. ("Jefferson surv...")] - James A. Garfield (who could reportedly write Latin
with one hand and Greek with the other, simultaneously) - Rutherford B. Hayes
- Theodore "Teddy" Roosevelt
Thomas Edison
Lewis Carrol, author (Alice in Wonderland)
Julia Child
Suzanne Pleshette
George Carlin
Valerie Harper
John Candy
John Sununu
Weird Al Yankovick
Marilyn Vos Savant
Alfred Hitchcock
Tom Hanks
David Spade
Céline Dion
Matthew Perry, Chandler ("Friends")
Rodney Dangerfield
Fictional Characters:
"Q" (Star Trek--The Next Generation)
Shirley Feeney (Laverne and Shirley)
Bugs Bunny
Wile E. Coyote
Garfield the cat
Copyright © 1996-2005 by Joe Butt and Marina Margaret Heiss
Phil Leslie | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Spiritual Gifts | Strength | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Evangelism | 15 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Prophecy | 15 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Teaching | 11 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Exhortation | 17 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Pastor/Shepherd | 18 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Showing Mercy | 12 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Serving | 11 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Giving | 7 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Administration | 12 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
About Your Spiritual Gifts Spiritual gifts are tools God gives Christians to do the work of the ministry -- to fulfill the Great Commission to reach, baptize, and teach and to minister to one another. Every Christian receives at least one gift at the moment of salvation. Spiritual gifts are not rewards, are not natural talents, are not a place of service, are not an age-group ministry, and are not a specialty ministry. They express themselves through various ministries which, in turn, accomplish a variety of results. A spiritual gift is the primary channel by which the Holy Spirit ministers through the believer. It is a supernatural capacity for service to God -- and He gives you a supernatural desire to perform the duties of that gift. Spiritual gifts are tools for building the church. They are a source of joy in your Christian life and influence your motives. A spiritual gift is a divine calling with a divine responsibility, because what God has gifted you to do, He has called you to do, and what He has called you to do, He has gifted you to do. There are three categories of gifts: The Miraculous Gifts, generally known today as Charismatic Gifts; the Enabling Gifts which all Christians have the ability to develop (faith, discernment, wisdom, and knowledge -- qualities possessed rather than activities performed); and Team Gifts which are activity, service, or task-oriented. The Team Gifts are functional and involve speaking or ministering. Chances are, you have several of these gifts that vary in different degrees and intensity. In many cases, spiritual gifts even complement your secular employment. The Spiritual Gifts Analysis you took identified your dominant TEAM GIFTS which will help you find your place on the team in your church. Prayer and serving God will also help you see where God wants you. This profile gives you a simple bar graph showing how all the gifts relate to you and to each other, but analyzes indepth only your dominant and secondary gifts which are the ones that will have greater influence in your life. Your dominant gifts are Pastor/Shepherd, Exhortation
As a gifted shepherd, you have the Spirit-given capacity and desire to serve God by overseeing, training, and caring for the needs of a group of Christians. You are usually very patient, people-centered, and willing to spend time in prayer for others. You tend to be a "Jack of All and Master of ONE," meaning you are usually dominant in one of the speaking gifts (evangelist, prophet, teacher, exhorter) as well. You are often authoritative, more a leader than a follower, and expressive, composed, and sensitive. Your pleasing personality draws people to you. You have a burden to see others learn and grow and are protective of those under your care. You want to present the whole Word of God and do not like to present the same materials more than once. You are willing to study what is necessary to feed your group and are more relationship oriented than task oriented. You are a peace-maker and diplomat - very tolerant of people's weaknesses. You tend to remember people's names and faces. You are more concerned with doing for others than others doing for you. You are faithful and devoted and may become a workaholic. You can become an all-purpose person in order to meet needs. People with the gift of shepherding make the best Sunday school teachers and group leaders because their desire is to go beyond just teaching or leading, to shepherd and minister to the daily needs of their students. The position of Sunday school teacher or group leader is an extension of the pastoral ministry in the church. These groups should be shepherded on a small scale the same as the pastor shepherds the whole congregation on a large scale. Be careful to involve other people; don't try to do it all yourself. Work on making people accountable. Do not be overly protective of your "flock." Because of these potentially weak areas, other people may think it is your job to do all the work; they rely too heavily on you. You may be expected to be available at all times, know all the answers, and be at every function. Learn when to say no. Beware of Satan's attack on your gift. He will cause discouragement when the load gets heavy, and pride because your "sheep" look up to you. You may develop family problems because of too little time and attention. You may become selfish when "sheep" feed in other pastures. HOW CAN YOU USE YOUR GIFT? This gift is a great help in many areas. You may serve as a Sunday school teacher, small group leader, pastor or assistant pastor, bus captain, special ministry leader (such as youth, children, men, etc.), nursery worker or as a half-way house or other type shelter volunteer. You may consider serving as a dormitory leader in a college, orphanage, children's home, etc. Scout troops would appreciate your assistance as a den leader.
As an exhorter you are a very practical person, a good counselor, tolerant of others, serious-minded, orderly, and usually impulsive. You are expressive in a group setting; the group listens when you speak. You are comfortable working one-on-one or in groups. You are enthusiastic and talkative and enjoy encouraging others. You are burdened to show how Scripture relates to conduct and have a desire to unify people by using practical rather than doctrinal issues. You likely place great importance on God's will and believe that His Word has the answer for every problem. You tend to make decisions logically rather than on feelings and are very orderly. Be careful not to interrupt other people; your enthusiasm sometimes makes you guilty of this. Others may think you don't use enough Scripture in teaching because you tend to use Scripture to support what you are teaching rather than starting with Scripture. Unlike teachers, you have the willingness to teach the same material again and again, updating and perfecting it as you do. As a counselor you usually have the ability to leave other people's problems "in the office" rather than letting them drag you down. Beware of Satan's attack on your gift. He may cause pride in your motivational abilities. He may influence you to lose sight of people because of program emphasis. Don't become discouraged when results are not evident. Be careful not to encourage others to do the wrong things through your persuasive abilities. HOW CAN YOU USE YOUR DOMINANT GIFT? You may use your special gift in many areas. You may want to be a leadership trainer. You could certainly serve as a counselor in church or in a counseling center. You could teach in church training or seminars or even small groups. You would make a good telephone ministry worker and would be a tremendous volunteer to follow up with new converts. You would work well as an encourager with those who are discouraged and as a counselor in a drug or alcohol program, rescue mission, poverty program, half-way house or runaway ministry or in a shelter for abused women and children. You could also use your gift in organizing or serving in a Men's or Women's Ministry. Building an effective team in your church depends on putting the right people in the right places. The best way to determine what place each person belongs in is by determine everyone's spiritual gifts. But, just discovering your spiritual gift is not enough. Here's the real challenge. Many Christians are asking the question, "What is my spiritual gift?" When in reality they need to be asking, "What is a spiritual gift?" They do not understand the relationships of spiritual gifts. That is, they don't understand how a spiritual gift relates to their life, how it relates to the will of God for their life, how it relates to the lives of those around them, how it relates the local church, or how it relates to the body of Christ as a whole. To give John J. Christian an additional name and make him John J. Exhorter Christian is only doing him an injustice. Having a new name or title does not make you a more effective, more fulfilled, or a better Christian, nor does it give you any more understanding of yourself or those around you. Most contemporary material written on spiritual gifts does an adequate job in helping you recognize, discover, and define what your spiritual gifts are. Also, many do a fine job of teaching on the individual parts of the body, but few complete their teaching by assembling the body, thus showing how church members can work as complementing, effective, and efficient team. Thus, teaching a person only what their spiritual gift is without teaching them what a spiritual gift is, is like giving someone a new tool without giving them the operator's manual. They will never understand it fully nor will they be able to use it to its maximum potential. The same is true with your spiritual gifts. Now that you have taken this inventory and know what your spiritual gifts are, we encourage you to study the principles that revolve around and relate to spiritual gifts. These principles combined with recognizing your gifts have been proven to dramatically change lives AND build churches. We have many resources available to help you better understand your gifts and how they relate to all areas of your life. Plus, we have resources to equip and assist you in teaching spiritual gifts and biblical team building to others. Furthermore, we have teachers who can come to your church and teach private seminars for you group. For additional information on resources or seminars just click on the appropriate button below. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
How do you compare with the rest of the Body of Christ? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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The results of your Spiritual Gifts Inventory indicate that your number one dominant gift is PASTORING/SHEPHERDING! The Greek word "poimen" means pastor. In Paul's spiritual gifts listing in Ephesians 4:11, this term is translated "pastor." Although the word "poimen" is translated pastor only one time in Scripture it is used sixteen additional times. The remaining sixteen are all translated "shepherd." Therefore, we are actually discussing the GIFT of shepherding, not the POSITION of pastor. Though a good pastor must have the gift of shepherding, everyone who has the gift of shepherding is not called to be pastor. The gift can be used in many positions in a church. 
The results of your Spiritual Gifts Inventory indicate that your second dominant gift is EXHORTATION! The Greek word "parakaleo" means to admonish, to encourage, to beseech. You are a "how to" person. You have the Spirit-given capacity and desire to serve God by motivating others to action by urging them to pursue a course of conduct. In a teaching position, you are able to explain how to apply God's Word. Your goal is to present material that enables the Holy Spirit to promote change in the student's life. You reach out and help Christians become more mature. Analysis of Comparison Charts
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Hmmmm.... I had no idea I was such a complicated person. I guess, to know me is to love me.
6.16.2006
A Legacy
I have posted from a previous blog of my relationship with Grandma Ruby. Besides my parents, she has had most of the influence upon my life. At one point, she lived with us while I was a child growing up in Booneville, Arkansas. I remember many mornings waking up & going into Grandma Ruby's bedroom & crawl in bed with her & ask her to tell me stories about when my Dad was a little boy. One of my favorite stories was the one where my Dad & his brothers, who all grew up poor in southwest AR, all got into it over who would get the last biscuit on the breakfast table. After a while, Grandma got so fed up with the squabbling, she ran out the back door of their rickety old house & out to the edge of the well where she shouted back to the boys that she was going to jump in if they didn't stop their arguing. She said she remembers looking at 4 little heads all peeking out the door to see if she was serious about doing it. And it did stop the bickering, too.
Grandma Ruby spent a lot of her time laughing, too. Sometimes she would laugh at inappropriate times & try to gain her composure back before smiling & sweetly saying, "I'm sorry...". Grandma Ruby would always find something funny about most every situation in life.
Last night about 1am, Grandma Ruby entered into Heaven's Gates laughinig.
She had just turned 99 years old not even 2 months ago. And now, God is laughing, too.
Grandma Ruby is laughing with the Lord because she is now the happiest she's ever been. She has been reunited with her 3 prior husbands, her 2 sons (including my father), her long lost baby sister she never met because she was given up for adoption as an infant, and scores of others who have gone on before her. Heaven is echoing with her voice as she belts out that infectious cackle that I used to hear late at night as a child, going to bed before all the adults would. I couldn't hear what they were talking about, but every time I would hear that high-pitched belly laugh, I would smile.
I get daily email messages from a website called "FamilyFirst". As if it were divinely timed, the message I received today - the day I learned about Grandma Ruby's passing - talked about leaving a legacy....
Grandma Ruby left a legacy all right. She left a legacy that taught me I should never take everything too seriously. To leave room for laughter. Grandma had a relationship with her kids & her grandkids that was sprinkled full of love & laughter. And it is this I will carry with me and share with my children. She proved that at age 99, laughter really is the best medicine.
For her 99th birthday this year, I wanted to send Grandma a colorful floral arrangement because I knew that with suffering from breast cancer for over a year, her time was short. And I wanted to tell her that the flowers represented the brilliance she contributed to my life. Even though I could only see her once a year at my annual Thanksgiving trip home, I would never think of not making that extra trip - an additional 100 miles or so - to include a visit to the nursing home where Grandma Ruby spent her final days. And I would never think of not allowing my two boys to briefly get to know, even in their young lives, this woman who will live on in my life as a true legacy.
I love you, Grandma.
Grandma Ruby spent a lot of her time laughing, too. Sometimes she would laugh at inappropriate times & try to gain her composure back before smiling & sweetly saying, "I'm sorry...". Grandma Ruby would always find something funny about most every situation in life.
Last night about 1am, Grandma Ruby entered into Heaven's Gates laughinig.
She had just turned 99 years old not even 2 months ago. And now, God is laughing, too.
Grandma Ruby is laughing with the Lord because she is now the happiest she's ever been. She has been reunited with her 3 prior husbands, her 2 sons (including my father), her long lost baby sister she never met because she was given up for adoption as an infant, and scores of others who have gone on before her. Heaven is echoing with her voice as she belts out that infectious cackle that I used to hear late at night as a child, going to bed before all the adults would. I couldn't hear what they were talking about, but every time I would hear that high-pitched belly laugh, I would smile.
I get daily email messages from a website called "FamilyFirst". As if it were divinely timed, the message I received today - the day I learned about Grandma Ruby's passing - talked about leaving a legacy....
Webster's Dictionary says a legacy is "something handed down from one who has
gone before." What kind of legacy are you building? Well, no matter how hard you
work or how much money you make, your lasting legacy won't be the material
things you leave behind. What will last is the kind of relationship you have
with your kids. It will directly affect not only your children, but generations
to come. So give them what the years cannot take away -- the legacy of your
time, your love, your self.
Grandma Ruby left a legacy all right. She left a legacy that taught me I should never take everything too seriously. To leave room for laughter. Grandma had a relationship with her kids & her grandkids that was sprinkled full of love & laughter. And it is this I will carry with me and share with my children. She proved that at age 99, laughter really is the best medicine.
For her 99th birthday this year, I wanted to send Grandma a colorful floral arrangement because I knew that with suffering from breast cancer for over a year, her time was short. And I wanted to tell her that the flowers represented the brilliance she contributed to my life. Even though I could only see her once a year at my annual Thanksgiving trip home, I would never think of not making that extra trip - an additional 100 miles or so - to include a visit to the nursing home where Grandma Ruby spent her final days. And I would never think of not allowing my two boys to briefly get to know, even in their young lives, this woman who will live on in my life as a true legacy.
I love you, Grandma.
5.24.2006
Anxiety Vs. Defcon 4
Has it been this long since my last post? Geezh, this summer is already at warp speed...and it's not even summer yet! Case in point: We've been meetinig ourselves coming at our house with so many activities & events that necessitate our participation. On one particular busy Saturday afternoon, the family hit the mall in town to get some supplies. My wife decided to split up & cover more ground so she took my oldest boy & assigned me my youngest - and most "ornery" son.
I desparately needed new shoes, since the ones I was wearing had "blown out" months ago...actually last summer...and now were rapidly transforming into sandals. So, I had remembered seeing some shoes I liked at Hot Topic. Yes, I said, "Hot Topic". My neighbor actually exclaimed when I told him this, "Aren't you a little old to be shopping in Hot Topic?" Well, no, actually. I do like some of the clothes there, but especially the shoes, since most of what I'd seen at the discount stores were some that resembled what the lunar astronauts wore on their first trip to the moon.
The store is dark, narrow, crowded, and full of displays that make a "straight line" impossible. So, my son began zig-zagging through the people, racks, & other assorted obstacles to the back of the store where the clothes were in search of the shoe rack. He was already voicing his displeasure in being at the store so I had to hold onto his hand & weave him through the store. I found the shoes near the back, close to the storeroom.
As my son started whining about wanting to go, one of the store's employees came up to help me. As I was describing the shoe I had hoped to find, my son began playing with the South Park toys on the rack & looking with curiosity at the door leading into the storeroom, which had a large mirror on the front.
The clerk disappeared into the storeroom to get some sample shoes for me & I had to restrain my son from following her. She returned with some shoes to sample & then took me around to the opposide side of the display to show me other styles of shoes to examine. My son, meanwhile, had started making faces in the mirror on the storeroom's door. The whole process with me & the store clerk took 5 minutes. When I was ready to try on the shoes, I circled back around the display to take my son with me. And, he had moved on. So, my next move was to start wandering the store, looking in every nook & cranny for him...thinking he was looking for more things to play with.
By the time I had made it to the front of the store, I had not seen him. Outside the store, in the mall, the local law enforcement agencies & EMS crews had their vehicles & officers set up to promote safety. They were registering children with photos & giving tours of ambulances & police cars. Thinking he had wandered into a police car or joined some of the others kids in playing out front, I scanned the crowd. No sight of him.
I began to process where he could've taken off to - he's at the coin-operated rides half-way down the mall from where we were - I was almost 100% certain. But I wanted to make sure he was not still in the store before I took off. As I started to turn for the storeroom, where I figured he may have gone, a girl from our church came up to talk. While making small talk, I continued scanning the store & the mall...not wanting to freak out anyone yet.
I guess this is where I differ from others. I was quite anxious about the whole thing. But I'm also optimistic in that I look for the positive side before diving head-first into the worst-case scenario. This also drives my inner "gut" feeling that I live in a relatively safe part of the state. I feel very secure where I live. I have seen the neighborliness, kindness, and support from folks living in Central PA in the last 2 1/2 years I've lived here. Case in point: We were once a victim of a flat tire caused by a rock on the road. In the time it took to call & report us to AAA, 3 cars offered to stop & help - the first being one with two teenagers. The 4th to stop actually got out of the car & began getting his tools out to change our tire. I had to call AAA to cancel the call because this guy had already started to work. So, we saved having to use our travel club credit. So, needless to say, I have a good impression of where I live.
During this exchange my wife met me with my oldest son & she had only one question to ask: Where my youngest son was. All I could say was, "I don't know. I'm looking for him." Now we have launched the torpedo & on our way to Defcon 4.
I quickly said I was going back to see if he had wondered into the store's storeroom & before I had made it half-way back through the store, my wife met me prepared for battle & screaming, "WHERE IS HE!!!!!!!!!!" Now, I was going to tell her I was going to check the amusement rides next but she had already run from the store like a madwoman screaming like a banshee.
In a matter of 1 minute, she had attracted the response of a University Policeman, officers from 2 neighboring townships, a Borough policeman, and a State Trooper. Descriptions were given, a crowd was gathering, my oldest son, who's only 5, started freaking out, and total pandemoneum was well underway. A search party was mobilized with local townspeople volunteering to go with the officers & emergency services personnel. I was asked if my 4 year old knew the mall. I told the officers that he did & probably knew right where he wanted to go....to the mechanical amusement rides.
The search party took off, on foot, on a bicycle, and on their radios. All I could do was to stand there & console my wife who was 30 seconds away from postal. I still had my share of anxiety...moreso because of the ruckus that was playing out around me than over the fact that my 4 year old had just split on his own destination at a crowded mall on a Saturday afternoon.
Of course, it didn't help that my wife had just watched a Dateline NBC program about child predators.
Within 10 minutes, 3 uniformed officers was walking my son back to us. The word spread quickly to the runners that preceeded the arrival of my son... "We found him!" And my wife flipped out again as she saw him grinning like a Cheshire cat being led by his police escorts. I asked one of the officers, "Was he at the play area?" "Yep, he sure was," was the reply. "You hit it right on target."
Now, had he not been at the amusement ride area, my anxiety would have begun to give way to panic. But I guess I don't "light up" as fast as some do. I try to process information as I get it rather than jump to conclusions. Nevertheless, my faith in the local community, the local emergency services personnel, and the people of the county..only reinforcing my optimistic view of the people who live in my neighborhood.
Oh, and I also make it a habit never to yell, "FIRE" in a crowded theater, either.
Once we had my son back in our custody, we marched both kids over to the table to register them with the county emergency services & have their photos taken. Then, both got to meet the State Police & have their picture taken in a real, life police cruiser. And they, too, got a good lesson on the importance of having the policeman as your friend.
I desparately needed new shoes, since the ones I was wearing had "blown out" months ago...actually last summer...and now were rapidly transforming into sandals. So, I had remembered seeing some shoes I liked at Hot Topic. Yes, I said, "Hot Topic". My neighbor actually exclaimed when I told him this, "Aren't you a little old to be shopping in Hot Topic?" Well, no, actually. I do like some of the clothes there, but especially the shoes, since most of what I'd seen at the discount stores were some that resembled what the lunar astronauts wore on their first trip to the moon.
The store is dark, narrow, crowded, and full of displays that make a "straight line" impossible. So, my son began zig-zagging through the people, racks, & other assorted obstacles to the back of the store where the clothes were in search of the shoe rack. He was already voicing his displeasure in being at the store so I had to hold onto his hand & weave him through the store. I found the shoes near the back, close to the storeroom.
As my son started whining about wanting to go, one of the store's employees came up to help me. As I was describing the shoe I had hoped to find, my son began playing with the South Park toys on the rack & looking with curiosity at the door leading into the storeroom, which had a large mirror on the front.
The clerk disappeared into the storeroom to get some sample shoes for me & I had to restrain my son from following her. She returned with some shoes to sample & then took me around to the opposide side of the display to show me other styles of shoes to examine. My son, meanwhile, had started making faces in the mirror on the storeroom's door. The whole process with me & the store clerk took 5 minutes. When I was ready to try on the shoes, I circled back around the display to take my son with me. And, he had moved on. So, my next move was to start wandering the store, looking in every nook & cranny for him...thinking he was looking for more things to play with.
By the time I had made it to the front of the store, I had not seen him. Outside the store, in the mall, the local law enforcement agencies & EMS crews had their vehicles & officers set up to promote safety. They were registering children with photos & giving tours of ambulances & police cars. Thinking he had wandered into a police car or joined some of the others kids in playing out front, I scanned the crowd. No sight of him.
I began to process where he could've taken off to - he's at the coin-operated rides half-way down the mall from where we were - I was almost 100% certain. But I wanted to make sure he was not still in the store before I took off. As I started to turn for the storeroom, where I figured he may have gone, a girl from our church came up to talk. While making small talk, I continued scanning the store & the mall...not wanting to freak out anyone yet.
I guess this is where I differ from others. I was quite anxious about the whole thing. But I'm also optimistic in that I look for the positive side before diving head-first into the worst-case scenario. This also drives my inner "gut" feeling that I live in a relatively safe part of the state. I feel very secure where I live. I have seen the neighborliness, kindness, and support from folks living in Central PA in the last 2 1/2 years I've lived here. Case in point: We were once a victim of a flat tire caused by a rock on the road. In the time it took to call & report us to AAA, 3 cars offered to stop & help - the first being one with two teenagers. The 4th to stop actually got out of the car & began getting his tools out to change our tire. I had to call AAA to cancel the call because this guy had already started to work. So, we saved having to use our travel club credit. So, needless to say, I have a good impression of where I live.
During this exchange my wife met me with my oldest son & she had only one question to ask: Where my youngest son was. All I could say was, "I don't know. I'm looking for him." Now we have launched the torpedo & on our way to Defcon 4.
I quickly said I was going back to see if he had wondered into the store's storeroom & before I had made it half-way back through the store, my wife met me prepared for battle & screaming, "WHERE IS HE!!!!!!!!!!" Now, I was going to tell her I was going to check the amusement rides next but she had already run from the store like a madwoman screaming like a banshee.
In a matter of 1 minute, she had attracted the response of a University Policeman, officers from 2 neighboring townships, a Borough policeman, and a State Trooper. Descriptions were given, a crowd was gathering, my oldest son, who's only 5, started freaking out, and total pandemoneum was well underway. A search party was mobilized with local townspeople volunteering to go with the officers & emergency services personnel. I was asked if my 4 year old knew the mall. I told the officers that he did & probably knew right where he wanted to go....to the mechanical amusement rides.
The search party took off, on foot, on a bicycle, and on their radios. All I could do was to stand there & console my wife who was 30 seconds away from postal. I still had my share of anxiety...moreso because of the ruckus that was playing out around me than over the fact that my 4 year old had just split on his own destination at a crowded mall on a Saturday afternoon.
Of course, it didn't help that my wife had just watched a Dateline NBC program about child predators.
Within 10 minutes, 3 uniformed officers was walking my son back to us. The word spread quickly to the runners that preceeded the arrival of my son... "We found him!" And my wife flipped out again as she saw him grinning like a Cheshire cat being led by his police escorts. I asked one of the officers, "Was he at the play area?" "Yep, he sure was," was the reply. "You hit it right on target."
Now, had he not been at the amusement ride area, my anxiety would have begun to give way to panic. But I guess I don't "light up" as fast as some do. I try to process information as I get it rather than jump to conclusions. Nevertheless, my faith in the local community, the local emergency services personnel, and the people of the county..only reinforcing my optimistic view of the people who live in my neighborhood.
Oh, and I also make it a habit never to yell, "FIRE" in a crowded theater, either.
Once we had my son back in our custody, we marched both kids over to the table to register them with the county emergency services & have their photos taken. Then, both got to meet the State Police & have their picture taken in a real, life police cruiser. And they, too, got a good lesson on the importance of having the policeman as your friend.
4.16.2006
Out of The Loop
I grew up in a small Arkansas town & attended a small high school. So small everyone was just a little too intimate. This means that what ever drama that began in 1st Grade, grew & magnified by 12th Grade. I got accustomed to being argued over at recess or at P.E. on who's team I would play. It wasn't because I was the highest scorer. I also grew used to not being invited to "those" parties or to certain events that all the other more socially acceptable kids would attend. By the time I entered college, I could smell a fair-weathered friend like a bloodhound.
Granted, it's been over 35 years since all this, but nevertheless I am still affected by such social stereotypecasting. And to be honest, it still requires a bit more processing for me to work through instances like this in adult life -- even if they are unintentional.
Like today. It's Easter Sunday. We are having several friends over who do not have family in the area & would be having an Easter dinner alone. So, we asked them to bring a side dish & we'd provide the meat & desert. I helped get things ready while my wife got the kids & herself all ready to head off to Easter church services (where she works as choir/music director). I had committments to a mens' Bible Study group with our church (the one my family are actual members of).
See, even though it was Easter & typically it may be expected that a lot of folks would not attend a Bible study group because of the holiday... I do just the opposite. If I have made a committment to something, come hell or high water, you can expect me to be there 99 44/100% of the time. I think some of this comes from my personality & some from my experiences of being "out of the loop" in my childhood school experiences.
Now, this Bible study group initially was a special group of men who met regularly to pray for our pastor (a "prayer shield" so to speak). It was "by invitation only". I understand the need for this.... however, when I moved my family to the area in 2003, I had keenly researched where we wanted to attend church. And this church was the one I picked....deliberately. So, I "hit the ground running"...ready to volunteer for whatever. Most pastors or churches would drop dead if someone like me decided to allign with their fellowship & would be looking for me like a heat-seeking missle every time they needed some help.
Not here. For 2 years, I just treaded water. Never really getting asked to serve much... I watched as others were asked...and I even repeated my desire to help out in any way. But it seemed that most of my pleas went unheard. Now, recently... the "prayer shield" sort morphed into a mens' prayer group & it was opened up for any men in the church. However, this small detail was really never made too public within the fellowship. I heard about it on the side. As a "by the way" comment.
Even though I did feel like I was still out of the loop, I readily committed myself to supporting these Bible Study groups. Once I began attending, I heard comments made about the "email that was sent out". I never received any emails about the group... I just hear about it "on the side". Again, more processing to keep my feelings of being left out of the loop... and more processing to keep myself from feeling like I had just joined a group of "fair weathered friends".
Now that was a quick background on where I am today. It's Easter Sunday and I've done my part at helping get the kids ready to go with mommy to her church where she directs the choir. I've gotten ready to drive the 20 minutes across the county to the place to meet for the Mens' Bible Study group. The church's email that was sent out a few days ago even had the reminder about the event.... When I arrived at the location... not a soul was in sight. No cars in the parking lot. Nothing.
I called the home of the group leader & got his wife who gave me what I have called as the "typical response" I've grown used to hearing since becoming involved in this church 2 1/2 years ago: "Well an email went out......" Okay... so the point is.....??
I'm out of the loop.
My spiritual gift is exhortation. And it's times like this my gift gets attacked by the devil who loves to fire up my natual talent of sarcasm & synicism. I have more email addresses than Carter has liver pills. No one bothered to include one of them in this email "that went out..." I have two cell phone numbers... none were used to call me. Oh, I was also told when I called to find out where everyone was that "yeah, we got to thinking that not everyone got the email about the meeting this week".
And just what did we do about it?
Nothing, apparently. And I even gave my email address to the group leader just weeks ago so I could be including in all the future mailings.
Sorry, my sarcasm is showing.
I guess it's times like this that really challenge my tenacity to be committed to things like this. Down deep, I feel that if I'm not that important -- that even after almost three years of committment to my church -- that I could've been told that a mens' study group (a group that used to be "by invitation only") was going to be cancelled because of Easter Sunday. I was still committed to attending even though it was going to be held on a holiday.
I guess it's just the price I pay for being so damn loyal.
Granted, it's been over 35 years since all this, but nevertheless I am still affected by such social stereotypecasting. And to be honest, it still requires a bit more processing for me to work through instances like this in adult life -- even if they are unintentional.
Like today. It's Easter Sunday. We are having several friends over who do not have family in the area & would be having an Easter dinner alone. So, we asked them to bring a side dish & we'd provide the meat & desert. I helped get things ready while my wife got the kids & herself all ready to head off to Easter church services (where she works as choir/music director). I had committments to a mens' Bible Study group with our church (the one my family are actual members of).
See, even though it was Easter & typically it may be expected that a lot of folks would not attend a Bible study group because of the holiday... I do just the opposite. If I have made a committment to something, come hell or high water, you can expect me to be there 99 44/100% of the time. I think some of this comes from my personality & some from my experiences of being "out of the loop" in my childhood school experiences.
Now, this Bible study group initially was a special group of men who met regularly to pray for our pastor (a "prayer shield" so to speak). It was "by invitation only". I understand the need for this.... however, when I moved my family to the area in 2003, I had keenly researched where we wanted to attend church. And this church was the one I picked....deliberately. So, I "hit the ground running"...ready to volunteer for whatever. Most pastors or churches would drop dead if someone like me decided to allign with their fellowship & would be looking for me like a heat-seeking missle every time they needed some help.
Not here. For 2 years, I just treaded water. Never really getting asked to serve much... I watched as others were asked...and I even repeated my desire to help out in any way. But it seemed that most of my pleas went unheard. Now, recently... the "prayer shield" sort morphed into a mens' prayer group & it was opened up for any men in the church. However, this small detail was really never made too public within the fellowship. I heard about it on the side. As a "by the way" comment.
Even though I did feel like I was still out of the loop, I readily committed myself to supporting these Bible Study groups. Once I began attending, I heard comments made about the "email that was sent out". I never received any emails about the group... I just hear about it "on the side". Again, more processing to keep my feelings of being left out of the loop... and more processing to keep myself from feeling like I had just joined a group of "fair weathered friends".
Now that was a quick background on where I am today. It's Easter Sunday and I've done my part at helping get the kids ready to go with mommy to her church where she directs the choir. I've gotten ready to drive the 20 minutes across the county to the place to meet for the Mens' Bible Study group. The church's email that was sent out a few days ago even had the reminder about the event.... When I arrived at the location... not a soul was in sight. No cars in the parking lot. Nothing.
I called the home of the group leader & got his wife who gave me what I have called as the "typical response" I've grown used to hearing since becoming involved in this church 2 1/2 years ago: "Well an email went out......" Okay... so the point is.....??
I'm out of the loop.
My spiritual gift is exhortation. And it's times like this my gift gets attacked by the devil who loves to fire up my natual talent of sarcasm & synicism. I have more email addresses than Carter has liver pills. No one bothered to include one of them in this email "that went out..." I have two cell phone numbers... none were used to call me. Oh, I was also told when I called to find out where everyone was that "yeah, we got to thinking that not everyone got the email about the meeting this week".
And just what did we do about it?
Nothing, apparently. And I even gave my email address to the group leader just weeks ago so I could be including in all the future mailings.
Sorry, my sarcasm is showing.
I guess it's times like this that really challenge my tenacity to be committed to things like this. Down deep, I feel that if I'm not that important -- that even after almost three years of committment to my church -- that I could've been told that a mens' study group (a group that used to be "by invitation only") was going to be cancelled because of Easter Sunday. I was still committed to attending even though it was going to be held on a holiday.
I guess it's just the price I pay for being so damn loyal.
4.06.2006
Snowblinded
It's spring. It's supposed to be getting less & less like winter. In Pennsylvania, however, that is all relative. I was driving to work - a 31 mile haul, one way, each day, five days a week - at the ungodly hour of 4:41am as the snow shower rapidly escalated into a fierce snow squall. I had several mountains to climb & the lines in the road were getting dimmer by the minute.
Finally, they disappeared alltogether & left me with just the reflector sticks along either side of the road to use as my guide to stay out of the ditches. The last mountain range was the worst. And it was here that the snow was the worst. The flakes swirled all around in front of my headlights...neither going in a straight line or falling gently down. All of this visual stimulatoin was causing me to be hypnotized as I putted along at about 20-30 mph.
The 2-lane Federal highway divides at one point at the base of the mountain range. I am concentrating on merely keeping the car as close to the right side of the road without dropping over the bank. My mind is reasoning, "Should I just pull over & wait this out?" I just could not bring myself to that yet. It's not desparate enough. I have driven all over northwest PA living there for almost 2 decades...this little snow squall shouldn't deter my quest to arrive at my job faithfully.
So I pushed myself in spite of my instincts.
My headlights shined upon the sign that said, "Keep Right"...so I kept my car to the right, thinking this would get me to the divided highway. I could only see as far as my headlights would shine. The road was all white...as was the shoulder, the grass, and all of the other surroundings. Down to only 15 mph & in 2nd gear, I crawled along, staying to the right until I spied the two "DO NOT ENTER" signs that I recognized as facing the opposite direction of the opposing lanes of the divided highway!
Thankfully, at this time of the morning, there were no tractor-trailers or cars (which so frequently travel this highway) as I did a 12-point turn around in the middle of the opposing lanes & tried to figure out where I was & how I was going to get over to the side of the divided highway (without ending up in the grass median, stuck for hours) that would take me to work without the head-on collision. After 10 minutes of feeling like a rat in a maze, I saw my way & was able to continue on spinning & sliding along at 15 mph.
When I was able to make it to the mountain's summit, the snow squall was beginning to lose some of its punch. I was able to make out the highway itself & began my coasting down the mountainside in 2nd gear...tooling along at 20 mph. A little more than 1/4 of the way down, the lines on the road began to appear again & by the time I had reached the bottom of the mountain range, I was back up to speed at 60 mph.
Nevertheless, my little time/space continuim had left me with about 35 minutes less time to get to work. But at least I did get to work.
Finally, they disappeared alltogether & left me with just the reflector sticks along either side of the road to use as my guide to stay out of the ditches. The last mountain range was the worst. And it was here that the snow was the worst. The flakes swirled all around in front of my headlights...neither going in a straight line or falling gently down. All of this visual stimulatoin was causing me to be hypnotized as I putted along at about 20-30 mph.
The 2-lane Federal highway divides at one point at the base of the mountain range. I am concentrating on merely keeping the car as close to the right side of the road without dropping over the bank. My mind is reasoning, "Should I just pull over & wait this out?" I just could not bring myself to that yet. It's not desparate enough. I have driven all over northwest PA living there for almost 2 decades...this little snow squall shouldn't deter my quest to arrive at my job faithfully.
So I pushed myself in spite of my instincts.
My headlights shined upon the sign that said, "Keep Right"...so I kept my car to the right, thinking this would get me to the divided highway. I could only see as far as my headlights would shine. The road was all white...as was the shoulder, the grass, and all of the other surroundings. Down to only 15 mph & in 2nd gear, I crawled along, staying to the right until I spied the two "DO NOT ENTER" signs that I recognized as facing the opposite direction of the opposing lanes of the divided highway!
Thankfully, at this time of the morning, there were no tractor-trailers or cars (which so frequently travel this highway) as I did a 12-point turn around in the middle of the opposing lanes & tried to figure out where I was & how I was going to get over to the side of the divided highway (without ending up in the grass median, stuck for hours) that would take me to work without the head-on collision. After 10 minutes of feeling like a rat in a maze, I saw my way & was able to continue on spinning & sliding along at 15 mph.
When I was able to make it to the mountain's summit, the snow squall was beginning to lose some of its punch. I was able to make out the highway itself & began my coasting down the mountainside in 2nd gear...tooling along at 20 mph. A little more than 1/4 of the way down, the lines on the road began to appear again & by the time I had reached the bottom of the mountain range, I was back up to speed at 60 mph.
Nevertheless, my little time/space continuim had left me with about 35 minutes less time to get to work. But at least I did get to work.
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