In Defense of DIXIE

This was a post originally published on my Facebook page on June 20, 2015. I figured it needed to be included here, too.

I am sick of having to move out of my lane in life to make room for people who are crossing over the center line of life's highway, looking for a head-on collision with my beliefs.

I a life-long Southern Baptist, a follower of Jesus for over 30 years, and have countless Brothers & Sisters in Christ who are from every race, religion, creed, & belief (of whom I would lay down my life for), I'm also a child of the South (capital "S") -- and I have never associated this flag with anything other than the land of my birth ("Oh, I wish I was in the land of cotton...."), Arkansas. And if a WHITE woman can IDENTIFY herself as a Black person and a MAN can identify himself as a woman (complete with a full-on sex change procedure & displayed on a front page magazine cover), and countless others that want to be identified as having same-sex attractions..... and we're all supposed to be OKAY with this...

...then I think I have the same right to identify with the Confederate flag. It seems just as fair to be given the same treatment that I'm expected to have toward others with whom I differ.

It's not my intention to come across as having pride in a selfish sense. I do have pride in a heritage sense. What if my denomination, the Southern Baptist Convention, is eventually branded by society as a denomination of homophobic hate & bigotry because its president, Johnny Hunt, recently spoke out in favor of traditional marriage ...saying there would never be any compromise with acknowledging same-sex unions? What if it became a stigma for people to be identified as a Southern Baptist because of this? Would folks stop going to a SBC church so as not to offend? Do you see where this is going? I know it seems a bit outlandish or over the top, but so did some of the very things we are seeing today which were seen as outlandish 10 years ago. The issue is not over a flag. It's over the heart. And it's the heart of both sides of the particular "offense".

I was born in a small Arkansas town that had a very racist history.  My step-grandfather told me of what he remembers about a sign posted at all 4 entry highways into the town that read, "[N-word], don't let the sun set on you in this town."  That was in the 1950s & it was not something I was proud of.  I can remember watching the 1970s ABC-TV mini-series, Roots--a TV event that greatly affected me.  My heart seemed to be ripped out of my chest as I watched how the African slaves were treated.  I remember telling my mom that I really wished I had friends who were black because I have a desire for all people to be included in my life.  My high school did not graduate a black student until after the turn of the 21st Century (which happened sometime around 2003 or -04).  It was not until I attended college in Jonesboro, AR that I finally got to have friends who were of another race.  While at college, I was the International Student Representative at the Baptist Student Union. I had countless Muslims as friends. I ate with them & organized BSU International student events to have them share their culture & religion with other students.  I made friends with Atheists, Bhuddists, Hindus...

Keep in mind that my family was never racist.  My dad used to help with the American Red Cross when US Soldiers needed to contact their family state-side.  He would always get "Red Cross calls" & would then spend hours on the phone trying to contact the family members.  On occasion, he would be called to the phone & after putting the receiver to his ear, he would just hang up without saying anything.  I asked him once who it was & he replied it was some "jackass".  When asked what the call was about, he would finally say it was someone calling him a "[N-word] lover" because he was helping a black soldier get in touch with their family.  It used to cause me deep anger toward any person who would disparage another person on the account of their race.  No one should have to put up with that.

Southern born, Southern bred, Southern proud.

However, none of this has anything to do with my association with the Confederate flag.

Not one thing.

My walk with the Lord, my salvation, my character, or my eternal destiny is not all wrapped up in a flag. And just the same, I equally should not wrap up another's character, salvation, walk with the Lord, or eternal destiny in some single offense I may have against that person.  MY ancestors (the Leslies) were not guilty of the things society is trying to blame all of the people of my race for. The Bible addresses Christian liberties and I do not believe it teaches we are to continually retreat until we have nothing left to stand on. We are to reason with each other & find ways to live at peace with each other. We do not have to agree with each other on everything.  We are not expected to change our lifestyle or beliefs for every person who finds it offensive. Again, it comes back to EACH PERSON believing in the BEST for the other. That goes BOTH ways.

I don't mind having wine at times--and I have never been drunk (or even "tipsy) a day in my life.  But I still like wine.  This is offensive to some, so I will voluntarily refrain from drinking wine with those I know who may be offended.  But I do not stop drinking wine all together just because some folks take offense.  During one point in my life, I was ordained a Deacon in my church, which was in a predominately German Catholic town where drinking alcohol was commonplace.  On my own volition, I chose not to drink wine solely on the purpose so as not to be a stumbling block to others in my church.  I never once said it suddenly became a sin to drink wine, or condemn anyone who did drink wine (or any kind of alcohol).  In fact, I think hardly anyone in the church even was aware of my own personal decision.  After I moved to another town, I did not feel it was necessary for me to exercise self-control on this since I was attending a church in a different culture.  So, I resumed having the occasional glass of wine.

We as Christians, should really be focusing on our eternal home rather than on the home (or the flag) of their birth. I don't get riled up if my next-door neighbor wants to put up a flag of Islam (or even a "rainbow" flag) next to my house. It's their right to do so.  Yet I'll bet some would get very upset if they were told by their Homeowners Association to take down their American flag because it offends Muslims....or was considered "hostile" or "aggressive" toward Muslims.  We expect Muslims to change their expectations or stereotypes toward Americans because we, in our culture, are not aggressive toward the Muslim way of life.  We feel offended that Muslims put stereotypes upon our US Flag based on their bad experiences.  Why aren't we feeling the same way about the Confederate flag?

The US Flag may give a foreigner the feeling of "US imperialism" and should not be put on display or be made to impose itself upon others who must look at it.  We respond by exclaiming how ridiculous it is to believe such prejudicial ideas.  However, we are doing the same thing with Southerners who happen to identify with the Confederate flag.  They are collectively viewed as racists, white supremacists, bigots, or worse.  We have 2 sets of rules.

To say that a Confederate flag is racist is to say that everyone who identify with the Confederate flag is racist.  That's a bigoted of a concept as it is to say a person of German heritage is a Nazi.  To coin a phrase from an Internet meme:  "Cain killed Abel with a rock.  It's a heart problem, not a gun (or a flag) problem."  To take down the Confederate flag or to criminalize its display would be a slap in the faces of all the families who's ancestors died in a Civil War that really should have never happened.  No matter which side you are on--the Blue or the Gray--both sides were to blame & suffered.

Removing a flag will never remove hatred in the heart of a person.  However, it could very easily stir up more unnecessarily.  We LEARN from our past.  We don't ERASE it.

On Fatherhood...

So it's Father's Day weekend & I've seen a few ads and posts on social media about dads. But nothing like I see for Mother's Day. Moms always will have a special place in our hearts. But I have to wonder if we gave dads more room for empowerment & encouragement instead of portraying them as insolent, standoffish, or some other bumbling out-of-touch child in an adult body we may see more fathers take their role seriously.

I always reflect on my own dad around Father's Day & how he wasn't anything like your "Ward Cleaver" from Leave It To Beaver. And I wonder if he ever felt like he wasn't doing so well in this whole "father" role. He took me camping 2 or 3 times in my lifetime, taught me many of life's "basics", and loved to tease me, my sister, and especially my mom relentlessly. And he had that Leslie temper at times, too. When erupt in a cussin' fit, my sister & I would struggle to keep from belting out gales of hysterical laughter at his creative use of "Blue English".

He wasn't perfect. He was, however "Dad".

As a father myself now for almost 16 years, I would have loved to hear from my deceased father of his impression on my fathering skills. I'm pretty sure he would have approved & said as he did on many occasions, "I'm real proud of you, son.". Being a dad is no walk in the park. There is no instruction manual. And the rules are as different as there are fathers. I do observe other dads-in-action as well as their children. I ponder the rules of fatherhood that are applied to their families. And then I look at my children.

Proverbs 17:6 says,

Grandchildren are the crown of the elderly,
and the pride of sons is their fathers. [HCSB]

Proverbs 23:24 says,

The father of a righteous son will rejoice greatly,
and one who fathers a wise son will delight in him. [HCSB]

It also states in Proverbs 10:1 and 15:20 that a wise son brings joy to his father. There are countless more references from the Bible about the joys & responsibilities of being a dad. So what was it that I've done--and am still doing--that formulated the two sons I have? Just as water can take any direction once its poured onto a surface, the outcome of my children could have taken any number of different courses.

While being a dad is not walk in the park, it is--at the same time--the best responsibility I've ever had. Oh, and it is also the most confusing, frustrating, joyous, miserable, fun, unpredictable, thankless, & satisfying job to do. So how do you know if you've done it right?

I look at my 2 sons. I imagine what their Grandpa Leslie would think & say of them if he were still here to see how they've grown up. I think my dad would see that the values & lessons that he was taught by his Grandpa Leslie had trickled down into them. As teenagers now, both of my boys are entering their future fatherhood as young men. And they will soon be thinking of what it might be like to be a dad. They won't get a manual, either.

As a zealous college student, I had imagined that the kids I would have would not watch certain TV shows, play certain games, listen to certain music... blah-blah-blah. Okay so some of that did come to pass. But a lot of it sort of didn't. I'm pretty sure my college persona would be very judgmental of my middle-aged adult persona. What did result was 2 sons who both have Jesus as their Lord & Savior, who are not only held in esteem by their family & their church, but who also growing in wisdom & stature & in favor with God & man. And they enjoy YouTube, Pokemon, Magik cards, & video RPG games.

I am the father of 2 young men who understand what it means to be a God pleaser. They are not perfect any more than I am. They've made as many mistakes as children as I have as a dad. And they bring me unspeakable joy. If you were to ask me what I did as a father that helped foster children like these, I couldn't tell you. What I can say is I entrusted them to my Heavenly Father, who provided me with wisdom that I took with faith. I was also blessed with a helpmate, who is the counterpart to my weaknesses & whom I have been married to since 1997!

For 16 years, I've experienced fatherhood from the aspect of instructing. From this point forward, however, I will be getting used to experiencing fatherhood from the aspect of understanding.

I delight in the blessings that God has provided in spite of myself. I delight in being a dad who's sons have been pleasing in the sight of the Lord.