This past week a good friend, who is in my local church community, lost his mom. He has had a pretty rough week trying to work through the emotions of planning & going through with the funeral, and dealing with reality.
My Mom died in 2000 before ever seeing age 69. And before ever seeing my two boys. Well, she did get to see a sonogram of my oldest son just days before she went home to be with the Lord. I have always said...and still believe...that I have no regrets at my Mom's passing. I really don't. We've never had a breach in our relationship that I had to mend. We've always known our feelings about each other. I've been blessed to have been able to show her my love & appreciation for her long before she died. Most recently, I helped plan her 40th wedding anniversary for her & my Dad. She said this was going to be, in her mind, like celebrating her 50th because she already knew she'd never live to see her 50th anniversary in reality.
See, my Mom was a 25 year cancer survivor. Before that, she was a survivor of the dreaded disease called tuberculosis. She had over 3/4 of her lung removed and then went through years of follow-up X-Rays to make sure the disease was cured. Unfortunately, by doing this she contracted breast cancer from all of the X-Rays.
When I was in 8th Grade, we got the news. Malignant. It was the only time (before Mom's death) that I ever saw my Dad cry. It was a major catastrophy in our house. Mom had a mastectomy and then radiation treatment. She had muscles & lymph nodes removed from under her arm. Then, two years later...it happened again. A second mastectomy and this time chemotherapy treatments. Then, annual cancer check-ups. That lasted over 25 years.
And then, it happened again. A small cancerous spot on her lung. She was then treated with an experimental new drug called, "tomoxiphin". This bought Mom another 5 or 6 years. Then, more cancer...this time in a tumor at the base of her cerebellum. And another suspicious spot -- on her pelvix. Then, her speech started slurring & her vision began to blur. Then in April of 2000, she called it quits.
I took her yellow daffodils from the American Cancer Society's "Daffodil Days" while she lay in the extended care facility in Columbus, OH (where my parents now lived with my sister). As I left for home on that Sunday afternoon, she gave me a look that told me that this would be the last time I would see her on this earth. She died a week later.
I still have no regrets about my relationship with Mom. We had our glorious battles because we were so much alike. She was able to see me married & preparing to father children. She knew I would do well without her supervision or her "blessing". But...
I do miss being able to tell Mom how my two boys act in ways that their father did when he was their age. I miss telling Mom the funny things that they say & being able to hear her laugh & tell me, "You were the same way when you were their age!" I miss her getting to see how much her grandsons are becoming more like her. I also miss never being able to ask her, "Mom, how did you handle me when I did this?"
We took our Christmas decorations down this week & as I was stacking boxes in the attic, I came across a lot of photos of my Mom & Dad that were taken at my wedding. I wish she could physically could be here to see what has taken place in the nearly 5 years that she's been gone.
No regrets...but I still miss her. She was sure a fine lady.
No comments:
Post a Comment