Bullheaded Leslie

My mom used that term a lot. My dad was one, his dad was one, & my dad's dad was one. All that bullheadedness got passed on to me. And I wear that mantel proudly. I gladly passed on those bullheaded genes to my 2 sons, too. And I want them to use it.

There's advantages to being bullheaded. For me, I never had to worry about peer pressure. I just wasn't going to go along with the crowd if I didn't want to. No one ever succeeded in getting past my bullheadedness to entice me to try drugs or sample alcohol. When I did eventually sample some wine coolers, I did it on my terms & kept my consumption regulated the way I wanted it. I never had a desire to move past wine (never had developed a taste for malt beverages) into hard liquor. And the only drug I ever take is either Sudafed or Chlor-Trimeton.

I'm bullheaded when it comes to what my faith is, too. I don't dislike other faiths nor do I think they are wrong. They are wrong for me, but maybe not for someone else. I also recognize that outside my own Southern Baptist faith, there are also people of other faiths who are wonderful, loving people. And I am proud - if not even cherishing - these folks who are in my life.

My brother-in-law is a practicing Catholic. I have as much in common with the Catholic faith as I would with chemical engineer. I find a smidgen of similarity between how I relate to God or how I interpret Scripture & how Catholics do. But I do not disparage nor look down on my brother-in-law for his beliefs, irregardless of how irrelevant they are to me.

While my family are members of a Southern Baptist church, my wife works for a United Church of Christ (UCC) church as their musician/choir director. I've been asked to teach SundaySchool there, be an usher there, & have been served Communion there. All of which I have graciously refused. Not because I want to be anti-social, but because I am bullheaded to the point that I am not a member there & I do not align my faith with theirs. I'm not trying to be unfriendly but consistent to my own church & faith.

Now here recently, we've sailed into some turbulent waters with the spiking economy, job uncertaincies, & the task of bringing up a family in the middle of it. My family have been scrapping & saving for over 36 months to pay for a once-in-a-lifetime trip to Walt Disney World (mainly for the sake of the boys). But since our committment to this began 2 1/2 years ago, our financial outlook has changed with the slumping economy & our stagnant paychecks. We've struggled as to what to do, all while looking longingly at that nest egg we've dubbed "the Disney money".

And throughout all of this, there have been some precious souls in the UCC church who have made "contributions" to the boys to help them "save for Disney" by giving them a couple of bucks here & there...sometimes slipping a $20 in a birthday card...or dropping a $50 into my wife's purse when she wasn't looking. But when things got a little uncertain at my job with the whole insurance issue & late paychecks, we obviously began asking for prayer.

That's when we started getting anonymous envelopes with $150 and the like. In fact, one elderly lady in the choir at the UCC church choir wanted my wife to assure her that the boys would, indeed, be given their promise of going to Disney World this year. And to help fulfill that promise, she would plop down $500 to pay for the gas to get there. I've been given cash, tucked inside a handshake, by some in the men's fellowship at the church where my family are members. All of this kind of runs against my bullheadedness.

See, I feel like I owe something to these who have been so generous. Especially to the ones at the UCC church. Yet I cannot allow my feelings override my reason. I don't go to a church because there are people there who feel led to help us along -- financially or otherwise. However, juxtapositioned to this fact, I can say I have as much love & respect for those in the UCC church as I would someone in the church where my membership resides. It's a fine line to have to walk, & heaven forbid it would cause offense. But I have to look beyond a faith made up of feelings & follow a faith made up of facts.

The fact is, while there are loads of beautiful souls that attend the UCC church, my loyalty does not reside there. My convictions do not mirror theirs. My faith is not practiced in the same way that their faith is practiced. But I would drop everything to help them if they needed it. At the same time, there are precious souls who are in "my church" who invest their time & their love by pouring themselves into the lives in my family.

Being bullheaded is not a bad thing...necessarily. It's actually the rudder in a sea of uncertainty.