During the holidays, typically, familes get together to reconnect & to reacquaint cousins with aunts, uncles & more cousins. In my family, we all tried to hit as many bases as we could. My dad would take us to a variety of relatives' houses each holiday season. We would usually hit a few on my dad's side during Thanksgiving...staying overnight with both his brothers living in South Arkansas, attending our annual reunion, stopping by my great-grandmother's home, then to my grandmother's sister's house & maybe some other relative living nearby.
Christmas would sometimes find us on the other end of Arkansas, visiting my mother's kinfolk... I remember one year, we stayed over a week's time & spent the night with my grandma, my two great uncles, & my mom's first cousin. They all lived within a 25 mile radius...with my 2 uncles living across town from each other. We didn't do this every year, but we tried to at least make a overnight visit or an afternoon visit pretty regular.
As a parent, I try to be as consistent in visiting relatives on my side as well as my wife's side of the family. Since my parents have passed on, I do devoutly make the annual trip to Arkansas for my Thanksgiving reunion, & try to stop by to see some of my mom's relatives in Northwest Arkansas every other year so they can see how the kids have grown. And, my mother-in-law is welcomed to our home regularly to spend a few weeks with us...and we try to make it to see her, too, as well as my brother-in-law.
However, we get a annual 2 hr. visit from my sister every year. That's it, and not much more. Her family has never spent a night at my house - ever. One year, when my parents were both alive, we had probably the last chance to have our entire family together: Me, my sis, Mom, & Dad...all over at my house for a Sunday dinner. My sis, instead chose to eat with her in-laws (who lived across town) because "Grammy" was celebrating the grandson's birthday...3 months after the fact. But she would come "watch us eat".
What's up w'dat?
Now, this year... My sis's family drive up to PA - mainly to see her in-laws & her husband's family - and can stop by to see us if it's not going to interfere with them making good time to see her husband's family.
Frankly, I just feel like tellng her that we really do not need the "obligitory" visit if it is such an interruption into visiting her family.
Yeah, I don't have any of my family living anywhere near Central PA...but I do have some wonderful friends in my church & my neighborhood. And, the family I do have that lives mostly down South, are closer to me than my own sis...mainly because I see them annually & remain in touch with them on a fairly regular basis.
Do I regret it? Not really. Will my sister? Time will tell, I guess.
I just spend the night with a friend of mine who lives in Northwest PA (where I lived for 18 years after moving out of Arkansas) & felt so connected with this friend & his family that I really do not have any regrets about the dis-jointed relationship I have with my sis. I just wonder if, in 20 years, she will wish things had been different.
I look at this past year & see how God has blessed me with some awesome experiences with friends I feel close to. I look at what is in store in the next year & feel excited about where God is leading me & who He will use in my life. We're ringing in the new year with the family of a friend of my oldest son. Another chance to connect to a new friend who will become a new member of our ever-growing extended family.
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