For me, I guess when I look at how I worship, a lot depends on my environment. The music does help, but I don't get that caught up in the emotionalism associated a lot of times with music & worship. Now that doesn't mean I don't get emotional...it just means that I don't need music to initiate it. No, what really helps me connect in worship is looking around & seeing others who are participating in worship with me. The whole gathering together of the "saints" in celebration of Christ & His Provisions for us really undergirds my worship experience.
So many people in my church see me as an extrovert. Yeah, I guess I do seem to pitch myself in the forefront many times, but it's not because I need attention to emotionally survive. At the same time, I am not a recluse & shun a lot of public life to pursue a monatary existence. I will admit that I am a "people person"...that I get a huge charge from hooking up with people. But not a crowd of people. I'm not intimidated by crowds and I can easily walk onto a stage in front of 80,000 people - just like I did when I was introduced with the staff of a brand new Christian radio station that came to the area.
What happened Sunday though spoke louder to me than my pastor who was leading the dialogue on spiritual disciplines. I was able to connect with two friends with who I have the greatest amount of respect. One was someone I had not seen in weeks who was able to make it to a gathering at church. The other connection happened in a totally spontaneous fashion.
I saw him stepping from the mens' room looking (as we used to say down south) rather "peekid"...like he was just recovering from a weekend with the flu. Obviously, I asked if he was feeling alright. He answered with that he was indeed not feeling up to speed. When I joked that if he felt the need to hurl he should turn away from me, he laughed slightly and said he wasn't feeling sick. So, I instinctively asked if it was something I could pray for him about.
That's when his eyes filled with tears & his voice wavered & he explained how he was just feeling overwhelmed with studies at the university & with his responsibility as a leader in the local Christian group. Before I knew it, I was pulling his arm, coaxing him to follow me (and the other friend I was talking to at the time) into the church's prayer room. There my friend told of his feelings of helplessness as he feels the need to fulfill his responsibilities as a "spiritual leader" for the Bible Study group, but also knows he truly must devote time to his studies while at school.
My heart went out to him because I could easily identify with his delimma. See, this friend is someone I would not have second thoughts about laying my life down for his sake. This friend is someone I would confide in with some of the most hidden secrets in my life. And it was a friend that I was always looking for some way to express my appreciation for his loyalty & his friendship. Now it looked like that time had come.
I listened to him emotionally share his burden while trying to sort out all the experiences I had gone through that I could tell him from similar situations. "Male bonding" would be what my wife would jokingly call it...but it was more than just "bonding". I felt it was a morphing of two & of three individuals together. The physical expression of my favorite verse in Ecclesiastes:
9 Two are better than one because they have a
good reward for their efforts. 10 For if either falls, his companion can
lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up.
11 Also, if two lie down together, they can keep warm; but how can one
person alone keep warm? 12 And if somebody overpowers one person, two can
resist him. A cord of three strands is not easily broken
Here we were: The cord of three strands, supporting each other, one of which was feeling a bit more weak & needed the support of the other two. I could see a glimmer of hope appear in the eyes of my friend, which only fueled my spiritual gift of exhortation. It was such a rush to have such a personal impact upon another - it is such a huge responsibility, too.
As we ended with a prayer for my friend, I chose to "pray us home", so to speak, but it was a struggle to do so because I was so overcome with emotion. Oh, crap. That's not supposed to happen. But it did, and as it has always happened in my prior experiences, my tears acted as a bond that drew my friendship even tighter.
I would take experiences like this over being in a crowd of people anytime. Sorry if this is a letdown to you, but I must reiterate: I am not an extrovert.
Well, in the literal sense anyway.
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