The week before Father's Day this year, Planet Fitness released the info on a survey they did on the male physique (that falls somewhere between buff and Pillsbury Doughboy)--namely, the "dad bod".
In 2017, an online survey by Kelton Global of 2,006 Americans men & women 18 & over was commissioned by Planet Fitness. Researchers found was that women don't want rock hard abs on their fellows--they want love handles. In fact, nearly 7 of 10 found a few or 20 extra pounds to be attractive on men.
Well, when this most recent survey was conducted, it found that love for the "dad bod" continued to rise--more than ever before! In that survey, it was found that:
71% of men say the "dad bod" has become fully accepted by society now...that's up from 63% last year.
79% of men with a dad bod say they're happy with their body, up from 64% last year.
78% of both men and women say a dad bod is a sign a guy is confident in his own skin.
65% of people say a dad bod is attractive...61% say it's sexy...and 51% say it's the "new six pack."
Coincidentally, less than one month before this survey was published, a stir in the fashion world happened when the clothing company, ASOS, promoting & selling crop tops for men. This nearly broke the Internet with the amount of confusion that ensued. This got the attention of the folks at the TODAY SHOW recently & they chimed in on the debate.
I've had a whole drawer full of "cut-off" tees for years. Ever since I was annually trekking out to Bushnell, IL for the "Christian Woodstock" festival known as Cornerstone. When I read about these trends this month, I thought that maybe in this age of acceptance & diversity that guys will get the same treatment as gals when it comes to "belly tolerance"...
It's time for guys with "dad-bods" to push back on the belly shaming...and let it all hang out. Get comfortable with your physique & throw on a crop top while you celebrate Father's Day, 2019. Let it all hang out...join the "Navel Air Force".
This was a post originally published on my Facebook page on June 20, 2015. I figured it needed to be included here, too.
I am sick of having to move out of my lane in life to make room for people who are crossing over the center line of life's highway, looking for a head-on collision with my beliefs.
I a life-long Southern Baptist, a follower of Jesus for over 30 years, and have countless Brothers & Sisters in Christ who are from every race, religion, creed, & belief (of whom I would lay down my life for), I'm also a child of the South (capital "S") -- and I have never associated this flag with anything other than the land of my birth ("Oh, I wish I was in the land of cotton...."), Arkansas. And if a WHITE woman can IDENTIFY herself as a Black person and a MAN can identify himself as a woman (complete with a full-on sex change procedure & displayed on a front page magazine cover), and countless others that want to be identified as having same-sex attractions..... and we're all supposed to be OKAY with this...
...then I think I have the same right to identify with the Confederate flag. It seems just as fair to be given the same treatment that I'm expected to have toward others with whom I differ.
It's not my intention to come across as having pride in a selfish sense. I do have pride in a heritage sense. What if my denomination, the Southern Baptist Convention, is eventually branded by society as a denomination of homophobic hate & bigotry because its president, Johnny Hunt, recently spoke out in favor of traditional marriage ...saying there would never be any compromise with acknowledging same-sex unions? What if it became a stigma for people to be identified as a Southern Baptist because of this? Would folks stop going to a SBC church so as not to offend? Do you see where this is going? I know it seems a bit outlandish or over the top, but so did some of the very things we are seeing today which were seen as outlandish 10 years ago. The issue is not over a flag. It's over the heart. And it's the heart of both sides of the particular "offense".
I was born in a small Arkansas town that had a very racist history. My step-grandfather told me of what he remembers about a sign posted at all 4 entry highways into the town that read, "[N-word], don't let the sun set on you in this town." That was in the 1950s & it was not something I was proud of. I can remember watching the 1970s ABC-TV mini-series, Roots--a TV event that greatly affected me. My heart seemed to be ripped out of my chest as I watched how the African slaves were treated. I remember telling my mom that I really wished I had friends who were black because I have a desire for all people to be included in my life. My high school did not graduate a black student until after the turn of the 21st Century (which happened sometime around 2003 or -04). It was not until I attended college in Jonesboro, AR that I finally got to have friends who were of another race. While at college, I was the International Student Representative at the Baptist Student Union. I had countless Muslims as friends. I ate with them & organized BSU International student events to have them share their culture & religion with other students. I made friends with Atheists, Bhuddists, Hindus...
Keep in mind that my family was never racist. My dad used to help with the American Red Cross when US Soldiers needed to contact their family state-side. He would always get "Red Cross calls" & would then spend hours on the phone trying to contact the family members. On occasion, he would be called to the phone & after putting the receiver to his ear, he would just hang up without saying anything. I asked him once who it was & he replied it was some "jackass". When asked what the call was about, he would finally say it was someone calling him a "[N-word] lover" because he was helping a black soldier get in touch with their family. It used to cause me deep anger toward any person who would disparage another person on the account of their race. No one should have to put up with that.
Southern born, Southern bred, Southern proud.
However, none of this has anything to do with my association with the Confederate flag.
Not one thing.
My walk with the Lord, my salvation, my character, or my eternal destiny is not all wrapped up in a flag. And just the same, I equally should not wrap up another's character, salvation, walk with the Lord, or eternal destiny in some single offense I may have against that person. MY ancestors (the Leslies) were not guilty of the things society is trying to blame all of the people of my race for. The Bible addresses Christian liberties and I do not believe it teaches we are to continually retreat until we have nothing left to stand on. We are to reason with each other & find ways to live at peace with each other. We do not have to agree with each other on everything. We are not expected to change our lifestyle or beliefs for every person who finds it offensive. Again, it comes back to EACH PERSON believing in the BEST for the other. That goes BOTH ways.
I don't mind having wine at times--and I have never been drunk (or even "tipsy) a day in my life. But I still like wine. This is offensive to some, so I will voluntarily refrain from drinking wine with those I know who may be offended. But I do not stop drinking wine all together just because some folks take offense. During one point in my life, I was ordained a Deacon in my church, which was in a predominately German Catholic town where drinking alcohol was commonplace. On my own volition, I chose not to drink wine solely on the purpose so as not to be a stumbling block to others in my church. I never once said it suddenly became a sin to drink wine, or condemn anyone who did drink wine (or any kind of alcohol). In fact, I think hardly anyone in the church even was aware of my own personal decision. After I moved to another town, I did not feel it was necessary for me to exercise self-control on this since I was attending a church in a different culture. So, I resumed having the occasional glass of wine.
We as Christians, should really be focusing on our eternal home rather than on the home (or the flag) of their birth. I don't get riled up if my next-door neighbor wants to put up a flag of Islam (or even a "rainbow" flag) next to my house. It's their right to do so. Yet I'll bet some would get very upset if they were told by their Homeowners Association to take down their American flag because it offends Muslims....or was considered "hostile" or "aggressive" toward Muslims. We expect Muslims to change their expectations or stereotypes toward Americans because we, in our culture, are not aggressive toward the Muslim way of life. We feel offended that Muslims put stereotypes upon our US Flag based on their bad experiences. Why aren't we feeling the same way about the Confederate flag?
The US Flag may give a foreigner the feeling of "US imperialism" and should not be put on display or be made to impose itself upon others who must look at it. We respond by exclaiming how ridiculous it is to believe such prejudicial ideas. However, we are doing the same thing with Southerners who happen to identify with the Confederate flag. They are collectively viewed as racists, white supremacists, bigots, or worse. We have 2 sets of rules.
To say that a Confederate flag is racist is to say that everyone who identify with the Confederate flag is racist. That's a bigoted of a concept as it is to say a person of German heritage is a Nazi. To coin a phrase from an Internet meme: "Cain killed Abel with a rock. It's a heart problem, not a gun (or a flag) problem." To take down the Confederate flag or to criminalize its display would be a slap in the faces of all the families who's ancestors died in a Civil War that really should have never happened. No matter which side you are on--the Blue or the Gray--both sides were to blame & suffered.
Removing a flag will never remove hatred in the heart of a person. However, it could very easily stir up more unnecessarily. We LEARN from our past. We don't ERASE it.
So it's Father's Day weekend & I've seen a few ads and posts on social media about dads. But nothing like I see for Mother's Day. Moms always will have a special place in our hearts. But I have to wonder if we gave dads more room for empowerment & encouragement instead of portraying them as insolent, standoffish, or some other bumbling out-of-touch child in an adult body we may see more fathers take their role seriously.
I always reflect on my own dad around Father's Day & how he wasn't anything like your "Ward Cleaver" from Leave It To Beaver. And I wonder if he ever felt like he wasn't doing so well in this whole "father" role. He took me camping 2 or 3 times in my lifetime, taught me many of life's "basics", and loved to tease me, my sister, and especially my mom relentlessly. And he had that Leslie temper at times, too. When erupt in a cussin' fit, my sister & I would struggle to keep from belting out gales of hysterical laughter at his creative use of "Blue English".
He wasn't perfect. He was, however "Dad".
As a father myself now for almost 16 years, I would have loved to hear from my deceased father of his impression on my fathering skills. I'm pretty sure he would have approved & said as he did on many occasions, "I'm real proud of you, son.". Being a dad is no walk in the park. There is no instruction manual. And the rules are as different as there are fathers. I do observe other dads-in-action as well as their children. I ponder the rules of fatherhood that are applied to their families. And then I look at my children.
Proverbs 17:6 says,
Grandchildren are the crown of the elderly, and the pride of sons is their fathers. [HCSB]
Proverbs 23:24 says,
The father of a righteous son will rejoice greatly, and one who fathers a wise son will delight in him. [HCSB]
It also states in Proverbs 10:1 and 15:20 that a wise son brings joy to his father. There are countless more references from the Bible about the joys & responsibilities of being a dad. So what was it that I've done--and am still doing--that formulated the two sons I have? Just as water can take any direction once its poured onto a surface, the outcome of my children could have taken any number of different courses.
While being a dad is not walk in the park, it is--at the same time--the best responsibility I've ever had. Oh, and it is also the most confusing, frustrating, joyous, miserable, fun, unpredictable, thankless, & satisfying job to do. So how do you know if you've done it right?
I look at my 2 sons. I imagine what their Grandpa Leslie would think & say of them if he were still here to see how they've grown up. I think my dad would see that the values & lessons that he was taught by his Grandpa Leslie had trickled down into them. As teenagers now, both of my boys are entering their future fatherhood as young men. And they will soon be thinking of what it might be like to be a dad. They won't get a manual, either.
As a zealous college student, I had imagined that the kids I would have would not watch certain TV shows, play certain games, listen to certain music... blah-blah-blah. Okay so some of that did come to pass. But a lot of it sort of didn't. I'm pretty sure my college persona would be very judgmental of my middle-aged adult persona. What did result was 2 sons who both have Jesus as their Lord & Savior, who are not only held in esteem by their family & their church, but who also growing in wisdom & stature & in favor with God & man. And they enjoy YouTube, Pokemon, Magik cards, & video RPG games.
I am the father of 2 young men who understand what it means to be a God pleaser. They are not perfect any more than I am. They've made as many mistakes as children as I have as a dad. And they bring me unspeakable joy. If you were to ask me what I did as a father that helped foster children like these, I couldn't tell you. What I can say is I entrusted them to my Heavenly Father, who provided me with wisdom that I took with faith. I was also blessed with a helpmate, who is the counterpart to my weaknesses & whom I have been married to since 1997!
For 16 years, I've experienced fatherhood from the aspect of instructing. From this point forward, however, I will be getting used to experiencing fatherhood from the aspect of understanding.
I delight in the blessings that God has provided in spite of myself. I delight in being a dad who's sons have been pleasing in the sight of the Lord.
It was starting to show signs of wear, anyway. I had been putting in more gas, it was using oil, I heard creaks & bumps when I would turn the wheel, & the headlights were so oxidized that driving at night in the rain was a nightmare. But seeing a time in the future to actually push/pull/drag it in for a trade was no where to be seen on the radar. There was no "good" time for this to happen anyway, much less on a weekend I was planning on driving 84 miles to my former church to "fill the pulpit". It's bad enough that my M-F 62-mile round trip to & from work includes traveling on a major US thoroughfare that's littered with impatient drivers traveling from Harrisburg to State College & semi-trucks that are trying to beat a deadline. It's also a drive that one must be on the lookout for an occasional boulder that loosens from an embankment & rolls into the road. But then you add in all of the deer who have no concept of traffic--especially when on the move from hunters during their mating season--and you have all the makings of a disaster-in-waiting.
Folks who meet me going to work at 4:40 in the morning must scratch their head at what I'm doing as I drive along the highway, occasionally flashing my headlights as if to signal that a whole division of state police are behind me in a covert speed trap. But I've had 3 other close encounters with Bambi to know that even if I don't see any deer, I flash my headlights anyway, as I pass grassy meadows, just in case any were even considering making a run for the highway.
Such was the case on a Friday morning--the day after my birthday--as I was eastbound & down on the US highway over the mountain range that separates work from home. Coming around a curve that cut through a section of the mountainside as I approached the mountain summit, my oxidized headlights revealed Bambi with her brother, sister, cousin, & neighbor, all crossing the highway stretched across the 2 eastbound lanes in a clear section of the expressway. I had just enough time to slam on my brakes & slide into her, feeling that familiar jolt from the impact crumpling another hood & hearing the clattering sound of another headlight being pulverized. After coming to a full stop, my one lone oxidized headlight dimly illuminated ahead as the rest of the hiking party bolted for the woods. The car still was running, the airbags had remained in place, & there was no unsettling noises. So, with only 13 more miles to go, I continued on to work just as I had done in all the other times Bambi & I had encountered each other. When I shut the car off at work, I heard no noises nor saw any steam coming from the buckled front-end, & with time pressing for me to start to work, I figured I would survey the damage when I had more time & more daylight. Not surprising though, the rest of the day went by like a slow-moving mudslide. This made the 3rd car I had gone through over the course of my 6 years at this job, as if they made cars that were disposable. And this was a car that was only able to be covered by liability insurance because of its age. Adding insult to injury, we had dumped more money than we had paid for the car for repairs & inspections...some we were still paying off. I couldn't afford to pay out of pocket for damage that would, no doubt, be more than the $1,500 we paid for the car, couldn't afford another car loan, & couldn't afford to quit my job because I had no car.
We had already been getting NSF notices from the bank account I was using to buy gas for the car so this would just be the final weight that would sink us financially. All I could do was to sit, feeling as if I were on a stranded boat being buffeted by an ocean that was on the brink of becoming a typhoon. All I had left was to just tell God that I was completely dependent on whatever He chose to bring my way. I had run out of options.
All I could think to do was to put out a request for prayer on my church's list-serv & on some social networks & let time take its course. After I finished work, I went out to see if the car would start & saw fluid leaking underneath the deer damage. The car started, however, in spite of everything & I was able to drive it home without any change in the engine temperature. As I neared my house, though, I did notice a whisper of steam wafting from the buckled hood. But I was able to get it parked in the garage & could breathe a sigh of relief. But the pressing concern on the back of my mind was how I was going to get back to work on Monday.
My wife was home on a sick day so that was the next hurdle. She often has said that "if it's going to happen to anyone, it's gonna happen to me." It was if she goes through life expecting the worst. Ironically, it was just a day earlier I had told her of a "near-deer-miss" & she remarked to me then that if I hit a deer with my car, "we are screwed". As a faithful husband, I fulfilled her expectations.
As I anticipated her reaction, I also realized this could drive a stake through plans already put in motion for my annual trip back to AR for my family's Thanksgiving reunion. I had not missed a single one of these since I was 6 weeks old. And I had taken my boys to every one since their birth. I had been helping to organize the plans for this year's reunion & had been promised with some financial help from my cousin in AL to pay for some of the expenses in getting some of the material needed for our 51st year of this tradition.
Once the shock set in with my wife, we surrounded ourselves in commiseration & began to piece together our options. I made a couple of calls to folks in my church who may be able to keep an eye out for a replacement car & we decided to follow through with a decision we had already discussed earlier in the year to cash in a life insurance policy that had been started by my dad years ago which had begun paying dividends. We had held off on it to see how our debt payments would be coming along with my wife recently starting a new church job that paid a bit more money. My salary at work was cut 20% almost 3 years ago because of the weak economy, in a blatant breech of contract by my employers, so our finances had already been slowly bleeding away. An emergency of any size would put us on financial life support. Thus was the case here & my wife dropped the bomb that we would have to re-think the Thanksgiving reunion, too, which was met by a lot of disappointment by not just me but the boys, too, when we told them what happened. If I had to miss our reunion, there would be very little thanksgiving flowing this year. When we received the promised check from my AL cousin we saw a note that was placed inside that said the money was for us to use any way we needed...even if it were not for the reunion. This was an encouraging sign, but I thought what use would it be if I wasn't going to the reunion in the first place?
I decided to check messages on the social networks that I may have received based on the news I sent out about the deer hit. I found that a family I had met almost when I moved to PA from AR had posted that they had a couple of cars they were trying to sell. This family used to go to my former church (in fact, were part of the original founding members) & I know that they had gone through a lot of trials in their lives but endured through them in spite of the circumstances. I told them I was to be in town that weekend to bring a message to our old church & would be able to stop by & look at the car to take it for a test drive. They said that they had not even planned to post a comment online about having a car because they at first thought I wouldn't be interested.
Next my wife & I decided to rent a car for a few days with a credit card that we had been desperately trying to pay off. I did need a vehicle to travel to my former church & my wife had to use our other car for her job on Sunday. Of course, during all this spontaneous planning, our family dynamic began to suffer as it took hits from our stress levels that were maxing out in the red. Any reaction to irritations by our 2 boys would cause us to snap at them. My wife & I had planned to take the boys to a autumn fest that was being held at a local church, so we dropped them off there & then the 2 of us went to grab a quick bite at our local Chick-Fil-A.
We hadn't planned to be at the restaurant that long. We can't always afford to eat out, but when we can, we like Chick-Fil-A because of their Christian business structure & their mission to view every customer with the mindset that every person has a story. As we started our meal, the franchise owner stopped to ask how we were doing. We jokingly told him of our deer hit & he winced at the heartache he knew we were going through. Our conversation then turned to how we had been encouraged by Chick-Fil-A's steadfastness in keeping a Godly business structure going successfully. As the owner told us of how he had faithfully sought God in his desire to build a franchise in town, despite the decade-long struggle in getting funding & wading through the mire of all the regulations that was characteristic of starting a business in the State College area, God began to speak to me through this businessman's story. He quietly reassured me that no matter the struggles that come our way--from starting a business to replacing a work car with no budget to do so--He is still in control. Unbeknownst to this restaurant owner, we had a story of our own that he did not even know about.
I left Chick-Fil-A feeling encouraged as if God had given my spirit and my appetite much needed nourishment. We picked up the kids & headed for home ending a day better than it started. But there was more to come before the end of the weekend. When we got home, I found I had received an email from a friend who had attended my former church but who moved away. I hear from her frequently when she has questions about the Bible & always consults with me for answers.
My friend's husband had passed on & now she travels around performing all sorts of ministry. She was asking me another question about the Bible regarding prosperity being promised for those who love the Lord & follow His commands. Does this mean that we prosper financially or spiritually or both? Ironically, this came on the very day of the deer hit, so I replied to her that I didn't feel very prosperous at the moment. I shared with her what had happened with my car & went on to explain that prosperity is not limited to a financial result but could be spiritual as well. She later called me to find out more about my deer hit & encouraged me to not let this crisis stand in the way of serving the Lord. She emphatically said she would be praying for us through all this.
As we headed out to pick up a rental car on Saturday--a home Penn State football game in "Happy Valley"--we also got involved in a surprise Fall snowstorm that was churning up through the Northeast. We managed to pick up the rental with minutes to spare before the place closed at noon & then we slipped our way back to the house in the blizzard. We at least had a car so I could take the boys with me to my former church to bring a Sunday message.
In asking for prayer support from friend, I also contacted those who I volunteer with that run a non-commercial Christian radio station. They indicated that if I decided on buying this car, I could ride with them to pick it up. Turns out, they had to be in the town where the car is located in order to do some work on a new radio transmitter. So now I have hopes of replacing a car & possible means of going after it.
The topic I had settled on for the Sunday message at my former church was to be called, "Why Do Good Things Happen To Bad People". It was from a Bible study by a pastor of a large Baptist church in Memphis, the late Dr. Adrian Rogers. I picked it out from some of the Bible studies I had previously given at the weekly prison ministry at the county jail. This message would not just be for my former church family...but for me, too. One of the main points in the lesson was that there are many bad or tragic things in our lives that God does not rule over but where He does not rule, He OVER-rules. My oldest boy would also play his trumpet for the service & we were then invited to dinner by a long-time friend who also used to attend there, once the services were over. The church also surprised us with a $50 honorarium for my "pulpit supply".
The Lord did use the message to encourage me & my former church members & I finished feeling like things were picking up. I had told my friend that before we went for dinner, we would need to stop by to see the car I was planning on buying We spent some time catching up with the family selling the car, both me & my friend took the car out on the road & were both satisfied with how it ran. After making plans on when to pick up the car, we headed off for dinner.
My Friend & I spent several hours catching up on things & enjoying a hefty dinner with his wife. The boys got to take in several hours of the Cartoon Network as we enjoyed each others' company. By late afternoon, we needed to make our way home, so I packed the kids in the rental car headed out the door. My friend walked me to the car & as he shook my hand, slipped a wad of cash to me & said he also wanted to help in this time of need. I, of course, told him he didn't need to, but he disagreed. As we were driving eastward back home along the freeway, I examined the wad & counted out $160 in disbelief. He really didn't have to do that.
After arriving home, I gave my wife what the church gave me & then the wad I got from my friend. She was dumbstruck by this sudden blessing & sat there just shaking here head, also in disbelief. I went to bed thinking of just how many prayers were said for us over this incident since I first started telling folks about it.
Monday I had my trepidations taking a rental car to work with Bambi lurking in the woods. But I made it to work & back & only saw Bambi once, peeking off the roadside as I drove by blinking my lights. Coming home after work, I checked the mail & saw an envelope from my friend who keeps me brushed up on my Bible knowledge. Inside, I found check & a note saying this was a gift that God will hopefully multiply. I shook my head in amazement at how God had manifested Himself in so many ways since Bambi & I first "connected".
Since it was Halloween, I went around with the boys as they "trick-or-treated" through the neighborhood. After we got home & sorted out the candy, we began getting them ready for bed. Both were still pretty anxious about possibly not getting to spend Thanksgiving with their cousins this year. They told me they were going to ask God to make it possible.
The phone rang for me as I was keeping the kids on the bedtime track & was told it was my cousin from AL calling. He had been reading about the progress of how the deer hit had jeopardized our trip to our reunion & wanted to do something to help. He asked how much costs were involved for fuel for the trip. I told him what I typically would spend for the 3,000+ mile trip. He said I should not have to worry about being able to make it to our family reunion because he would pick up the tab. I guess the gift from my friend that I got in the mail that afternoon really did multiply.
As I waited to find out when I need to meet my friends who will be taking me to pick up the car, I reflected on the blessings that have come as a result of Bambi, who began a series of events that was used by God to remind me that in the end, it's all His to start with ...and ultimately it is He who still has everything under control. I picked up the car & drove it home on I-80...which must have had every tractor-trailer in the entire state of PA traveling on it that day. Since it was a Wednesday, my wife had to be at choir practice & my oldest son was wanting to make it to a youth group he has been attending. So, coming straight from St. Marys, I met my wife at a McDonald's that was at the I-80 exit that I get off to go to our house & had the kids swap cars.
As I headed to drop off my son at his youth group, traveling through State College, the brakes on the car started going soft & the brake light came on. By the time I dropped my son off, I had no brakes at all. Since there were no garages I knew that were open after 7pm, I opted to stop at Pep Boys to see what was the problem. I called my friend who sold me the car, who was mortified at hearing the news. He offered to buy back the car but I wanted to first diagnose the trouble. Pep Boys found that the entire brake line was rusted & was saying it would be an 8 hr. job, costing at least $1,000.
Hello, God? This is NOT funny.
I had to lose a day of work the next day & started at 7am looking for someone to do brake work quick, effective, & cheap. My friend offered to let us pay for the repairs out of what was owed them & send them the difference. My friend at the Christian radio station gave me a few garages to call, most however most told me that they could take the car the next day or the next week. One garage in town said they could take it that day. We opted on this even though they did not take credit cards (which is our safety net in emergencies). We could, however, pay for the work using a local check against our line of credit. It only took 6 hours to replace the brake line with corrosive-resistant brake line & we were only charged $303, saving our friends from losing over $700 off their price of the car (no thanks to Pep Boys--which I do NOT recommend to anyone for any reason!).
With the car repaired, we received word that our insurance settlement would be in the mail this week so we could pay the car off with our friends & get some other debt paid. We spent the weekend enjoying 2 drama-free days & telling folks in our family & our church of how God provides. We resumed planning for our trip to my family's Thanksgiving reunion with my oldest son practicing on his trumpet to play my dad's favorite song, His Eye Is On The Sparrow. I thought what an appropriate song to play that attests to the over-ruling power of God! And, God has continued to provide through my family. Today when checking the mail, another letter came from another cousin who has felt led to send us money to help pay for our trip to my reunion!
November typically is associated with the Thanksgiving turkey, but this year our Thanksgiving will be symbolized by Bambi. It was because of Bambi we experienced a minor catastrophe which ushered in a major wave of blessings. We, indeed, have much to be thankful for: A car, a job, wonderful friends, a supportive church family, an invaluable family, & an amazing God.
To God be the Glory! GREAT things HE has done!
I read this year that one of my "heroes" who is a tremendous influence on my life, my former Baptist Student Union (or now called, "Baptist Collegiate Ministries") Director, is retiring. Okay, so I knew it had to come & I'm okay with that. But that's not what stopped me in my tracks & made me do a double-take in life. It was what I came upon in my trunk of junk down in my basement a few months ago. I had always remembered this item, though I had forgotten about actually saving it in my trunk.
Arliss Dickerson was my BSU Director during the 4 years I attended Arkansas State University. During my intense involvement with the ASU/BSU, the impact he had upon my life would eventually reverberate well into the 21st Century. I always felt that his mentorship was unique & was something that stayed with me. But it wasn't until years later, after getting married, moving 1,200 miles from my home, & starting a family, that I discovered that he had been elevated by other BSU Directors to a type of "Baptist Sainthood" among collegiate ministers. Needless to say that even this was no surprise to me.
But when I found this memento in my trunk, it hit me that Arliss was a one-of-a-kind person. Coming out of a childhood where my relationships were mostly fair-weathered, what I learned from Arliss & how he established relationships was one of the primary cornerstones that help to build my character. And how I got this memento was one of the most random moments of my life--yet it was something I will cherish like a family heirloom.
Arliss & I were standing in the breezeway entrance of the Baptist Student Center one afternoon (I believe the current term in culture is "chillin'"), not really talking...but when we did, it was about nothing, when he reached out nonchalantly & grabbed a plain white piece of paper. He reached for a black "Majik Marker" & scribbled a note, folded the paper, & handed it to me. He smiled & headed down the hall to his office. Totally thinking to myself, "Okay, what crazy thing did Arliss write?" I unfolded the paper & saw this:
A little note that had a big impact.
I chuckled at the randomness of his attempt at a campaign slogan, but then it just sunk in to my psyche that I was a person of value to him. I was someone who mattered. It wasn't because of what I was doing in my work with the BSU, it wasn't because of my dashing good looks, it wasn't because of my filthy rich family... It was because I was who I was. I remembered taking this note with me & when I got back to my dorm, I placed it in my trunk where it was kept with all the other milestones I've passed through my life.
I have to say that since crossing paths with Arliss Dickerson, the way I treat people has profoundly changed. I could have held a chip on my shoulder from my childhood & grown up bitter & resentful. But I saw what authenticity in friendship looked like & felt how it was able to dissolve away the immaturity of childhood. I'm sure there'll be much hoopla during the year leading up to a huge, much-publicized, retirement party for Arliss. And I'm equally sure of the fact that it will be something that brings a certain degree of discomfort to Arliss because he never seemed like a person who relished a whole lot of attention being poured on him. It actually was a distraction to him because he was just too busy "being Arliss".
Frankly, if I ever got the chance to become "President of the World", I know who would be my "Chief of Staff".
